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A Decade in Review

December 30, 2019

As I sit with a cup of coffee in hand far earlier than I hoped to be awake, my baby and husband fast asleep, I am filled with awe. Is that allowed? Can you be in awe of your own life? I am not in awe because we are filthy rich, live in a massive home, or are notable people. We lead fairly simple lives. Busy, but simple and full. We know what it means to want and know what it means to be with plenty. We have good days, we have bad days. We are, well… normal. My life isn’t “awe-worthy” to somebody from the outside, I suppose. At least, not according to the standard of perfection set by the unachievable mark we have defined for us by media and magazines. But, wow, it is to me. We inch closer and closer, by the hour, to a new year and a new decade. The entrance to a new phase in history, a new moment in time, and I just want to note it. I want it to go slow. I want to put a sticky note in time right here that says “Some of your best!”

The last 10 years I saw dreams grow legs and start to wobble. From a 17 year old girl with dreams of a big city, becoming a famous news broadcaster (chummy with Kathie Lee and Hoda, of course), and hoping to marry at some point in time to a now 27 year old woman who works from her home office (or, honestly, the sofa with a baby and dog on her lap), with a little boy pulling on her hair as she types and edits, and a husband she could have only dreamed up. No super fancy cars or lavish trips across the world…at least, not yet ;)… but a heart overflowing with every dream she could have ever asked for answered in a special way immeasurably better than she could have ever asked or hoped for.

Have you ever seen a video of a baby giraffe or, you know, something cute and gangly like that try to stand after birth, wobbling to and fro, and then before you know it they’re standing in all their gangly glory? Then, they begin to run. They don’t have the whole running thing down perfectly, so the mom has to gallop alongside to direct, but they are off none the less. That is what the last 10 years have been. From wobbling on the ground to a gangly, guided gallop, and now a rather confident and solid run. In what direction, we don’t fully know. 😉 I certainly don’t have it ALL down, y’all, but I do at least have down the running part fairly well. More precision and direction, perhaps, comes over the next 10 years. Although, I selfishly hope I never fully know what direction I am running. An idea, yes. But I never want to be so in charge of where my feet go that I forget to run where God directs me still, like a little foal needing the mother to guide and redirect as I stumble over my feet.

Ten years ago, I was a girl with white blonde hair, because I didn’t know to ask for full highlights instead of dyed hair. … It’s true. We all learn over time the important things, haha. I simply knew I wanted bright blonde hair that wasn’t yellow-y… and left with a head of white hair. It took some time to reel back in from that one (see above haha). And quite a few tears. And one breakdown that allowed me to go home early from school, which my mom NEVER allowed. So… we all know it was bad. Real bad. I couldn’t find a good picture of my white blonde hair… and I am sure it’s because I wanted no record of it.

I went to school as a very thirsty Christian. I had been a believer my whole life, but I was on the cusp of really figuring out why I believe what I believe and how I wanted my faith to look. Let’s just say, those were interesting years. Sometimes a little embarrassing to think about. I was so clueless about so much and so young. So thirsty and curious to learn ALL the things I knew nothing about in regards to my faith. I learned a wealth of knowledge in regards to life and faith from ages 17-19, and thank God for that. I settled down on the “fiery faith” thing and really found my step, my own faith and my own ideals according to my own relationship with Jesus. I wouldn’t trade those years for anything, though I would like to keep some of it in the vault for just me to know about haha. I truly am thankful, though.

I met my husband at 19 and married him at 21. It was 2012 at The Village Church. A cute boy with a hoodie over his head and blue jeans with black converse sat in front of me. His eyes and gorgeous lashes along with that tan skin paired with blonde locks that peeked out from underneath the hood yanked my attention, and I was smitten. I knew I wanted to chat more after church, but for the time being had to sit behind his cute hooded head and imagine what he was like as I tried to focus on the sermon. He heard me singing and says that is how he knew he wanted to know me more. I remember that moment in time so vividly. I remember the moment I met the man who would change the course of my life so perfectly, and I wish there was a way to capture moments in your mind and pull it out onto a video so it never goes away. Nerd alert: You know how in Harry Potter they can pull out memories with a wand and put it into a pool of memories?… that’s what I want for this moment in my life. Along with the second I met my son, Knox.

In 2014, I married my best friend. And the cute, hooded boy I fell in love with was my husband. And y’all… our first year of marriage was hell. If you are a newlywed thinking to yourself “What did I do? What happened to the cute couple we were at 19?”… you aren’t alone. It happens. NOT to everybody. In fact, I hate when people almost will it upon others that their first year of marriage will just inherently suck, because theirs did and it’s the cliche “first year” thing. I don’t wish that for anybody. But, for us, ours was shy of a disaster. I can giggle at least a little now about it. But I spent many nights wailing in our bathtub, because it was the only room in our studio loft with a door that locked. I threw a remote and a couple punches, and we threw around the “D Word” more than either of us like to admit. We were young, broke, and dumb… lol. But for real. I learned at a young age, and unfortunately it had to happen my first year of marriage, just how much a need for financial security ruled my heart. I had never had to think about money until I was married and had none. I didn’t know I could feel so angry or insecure until I had virtually nothing (or so I thought nothing- I focused on the wrong things). And WOW did it rock my world. I had never really known what it was like to be told “no” or to have to let wants die so that we could.. well, eat. I will never forget Paul sitting me down to say, “Hannah, if we have 10 lemons to live off of each month, but you want to spend 12… it won’t work.” Y’all… I needed HEEEELLLP lol. Living in Dallas, the home of the “30,000 Millionaire” didn’t help either. That is a term for Dallas, because everybody is sucked into a materialistic way of life as they are surrounded by actual rich people. And it’s actually hard to know when you’re out in Dallas who is actually wealthy, because everybody is trying so hard to achieve the facade that they are. In short: Dallas wasn’t good for me. It took time to completely weed out of me what was so icky and I didn’t even know existed until it was shoved in my face with an ugly mask. But wow, praise God. I would say this was the greatest and most substantial (arguably) thing I learned in my life in the last ten years that has truly made me a different person entirely from start to finish of it.

2015 was big. Firstly, in January of 2015 I started my blog. Below is a photo from my very early days! I wasn’t certain what it would look like except that I wanted to defy the “Dallas Blogger” thing and do it differently. In the middle of all the fake and the fashion, I wanted to create something that showed you can love those things, fashion and nice things, without losing yourself. And you can most certainly be “real.” Thus, The Cake was born and here we are nearly 5 years later. Then, that fall we moved to Mckinney to be part of a church plant and start our life’s call to do ministry alongside one another. Funny fact: My first date with Paul, we sat on a bench in early November over hot apple cider talking. He let me know he was called to be a pastor and wanted to plant a church one day. He told me that if I didn’t feel a call to that, then we shouldn’t really continue dating because it’s pointless. LOL. To the point! What was crazy, is ever since I was a little girl, I told people I thought I would marry a pastor.

Moving to Mckinney was the best thing we ever did. We have never been healthier or more full than doing ministry together. Moving to Mckinney didn’t fix everything, but it sure did bring out of us a closer version to who we were created to be. The last 4.5 years have been some of our best. Hard as hell. Am I allowed to say that? Sorry… err…honestly, so freaking hard. But the best thing that’s ever happened. We’ve launched two companies, seen our bank account and our little family grow, and it’s been the sweetest adventure of all time.

In 2016, I was burned out. I was exhausted and working (no joke) 8 different contract jobs at once trying to get my dreams rolling to really make money doing my own thing. Blogging wasn’t a hobby anymore as I booked jobs with Dillard’s and a full Valentine’s Day campaign with BareMinerals, and I found out I LOVED creating quality content with purpose. And, I loved styling photo shoots. It was so much fun to me, whether for myself or others. I just found out I loved being given a product and making others see through a lens how great it was, too. I spent hours a day in my car driving to Oak Cliff for one job while also working 40 minutes away at a Pure Barre, and blogging for companies who had hired me to do so on the reg in the meantime. All while growing The Cake by Hannah content and doing photoshoots with Hannah Hagaman to create a look for my own blog. By the end of 2016, I quit almost everything for my sanity and put all my cards into the blogging thing. I found out I was really sick, got diagnosed with a slew of issues (that actually made my entire life FINALLY make sense), and I knew I needed to redirect things and focus. Paul was getting into a groove with his new job, and I could slow down a little bit. Despite cutting our income in half for about two years, we were happier and healthier than ever.

2017, I got pregnant with our son. What a sweet year. I learned more about myself than ever before from a tiny 6 pound 11 oz. ball named Knox. I have never felt more fulfilled or content than now. The last two years have been some of my best, and as I watch my sweet boy grow and become a true little kid, my heart aches inside. The wrinkles on my forehead are ever-present and my dark circles seem almost permanent like a tattoo, yet I am the happiest I have ever been. 2018 is kind of a blur, mostly due to a growing human I had to keep alive, and 2019 I launched a new company that has changed our lives.

It’s hard to label myself an “entrepreneur” but here we are. I took the things I learned over the last 9 years, what I love and how to do it, and started training people under me to do it for others. My love for styling shoots and creating content bled into other people’s companies. The Cake Media Management was born in April of 2019, and truly has bec0me more than I thought it could be or ever would be.

PHEW, that was fun! I legit have tears in my eyes recalling all that God has done in these ten years. So here we are, about 48 hours from 2020. And, from just the couple of things I know are for sure coming this year, I literally am giddy with excitement. I can’t wait to bring you along the journey of the next decade here in this tiny corner of the Internet. I have no idea what all will come, but I do know that I am so ready. Right now, there are so many unknowns in our life that I know I should feel entirely overwhelmed. And, honestly, Hannah 8-10 years ago would be having a full-on panic attack right now. But, isn’t it funny what time and age does? In a weird way, I am ready to walk alongside my husband, hand in hand, and take on the world together despite the amount of unknowns we have in front of us. I am ready to see more dreams that have been deep inside our souls grow legs and take life right before our very eyes.

All I know is that I have God, my best friend, and my son by my side. And that truly is all I need. I can say that so wholeheartedly. It’s proven true the last 10 years, and I know it will stand firm the next 10 to come.

Happy New Year, y’all. Thank you for being part of this amazing journey. Thank you for being part of my life the last 5 years, and thank you for loving my little family. You are so much the reason I can say I am living my dream life. Simple and full. And so full because of each and every one of you.

xoxo, Han

Our Holiday Meal Plan

December 23, 2019

Hey, hey gals! Can you believe it’s almost Christmas Eve?! I have been a day off in my head and definitely woke up thinking today was the 22nd. Yikes, I have a lot to do today. I will be headed out to grab all of our holiday meals and thought I would share with you! If you are part of my emails and enjoy The Cake for Dinner… I promise it’s returning. I took a break during the holiday season because we have zero consistency and eat out so much more than usual. I will share more about out holiday season soon, but I have just been trying to be completely present! Thanks for understanding. I can’t wait to kick off the new year with healthy meals for your family, though. It’s going to be a blast to start the new year together in good spirits and health.

Christmas Eve:

I grew up eating a special lasagna meal served on my mom’s fancy china on Christmas Eve. It was tradition to go to the candle light service at church followed by our meal together at the table by candle light with my mom’s red table cloth and lace linens. It always felt so special. Then, all my siblings and I would get into our Christmas jammies and sleep in our sleeping bags on the floor of one of our rooms. My parents would come in and film us on the big Camcorder, asking us what we thought Santa was bringing us as we would sleepily recite all of our hopes and dreams for Christmas morning. I can still remember those nights with my siblings on the floor, giggling and falling asleep to the sounds of the hum of our space heaters. I have carried this meal on in my own family, served on my great grandma’s special china that I inherited.

Momma’s Lasagna Recipe

Christmas Morning:

We ate my mom’s easy breakfast casserole every single Christmas morning after opening gifts. By breakfast, my grandparents had made it over to the house and we would all eat together. We are from San Antonio, so topping this dish with salsa is a must. Then, when Paul and I got married, we were so broke that our first Christmas at our apartment had no presents. We only were able to buy some special food to make. So, I decided to make the breakfast casserole and added to our traditions with this amazing French Toast Casserole. It’s seriously become famous among my friends, and they now make it for their own Christmas morning breakfasts and brunch parties. There are always leftovers, and that is our lunch as well as we prepare for dinner.

Momma’s Breakfast Casserole

French Toast Casserole

Christmas Dinner:

Our first Christmas I made rosemary lamb and risotto. It was fantastic. However, some of our family doesn’t do lamb, so we save that dish for other special occasions now. Instead, we do a traditional ham, corn casserole, and sweet potato casserole. Of course served with mulled wine (easy recipe found here).

I have made a slew of different Sweet Potato Casseroles over the years, trying different recipes out. And, y’all. I found the best one. I made it for Thanksgiving and it was such a hit. I found it on Holly Furtick’s Instagram and decided to give it a shot… and wow. I MEAN. This is officially my family’s sweet potato casserole dish.

Casserole:

3 Cups Mashed Sweet Potato (I used 6 massive sweet potatoes… I am not sure if it was 3 cups, but it was the perfect amount IMO)

1/2 c. brown sugar, packed

2 large eggs, lightly beaten

1 tsp vanilla

1/2 c. milk (we use Almond to make DF)

1/2 c. melted butter (we use Earth Balance to make DF)

Topping:

1/2 c. brown sugar

1/2 c. flour (we use Bob’s Red Mill All-Purpose 1-1 Gluten Free)

1/3 c. melted butter

1 c. chopped pecans

Instructions:

Heat oven to 350, prepare a 9×13 baking dish for casserole
In a large bowl, combine mashed sweet potatoes with brown sugar, eggs, vanilla, milk, and 1/2 c. of melted butter. Blend and spoon the mixture into a greased baking dish.
In separate bowl, combine the topping mixture together, blending all ingredients well. Sprinkle the mixture over the casserole.
Bake for 40 minutes until the filling is hot and topping is golden brown.

Knox’s Polar Express Birthday Party

December 20, 2019

Last week we celebrated Knox Chandler’s 2nd birthday with a Polar Express birthday party. He is so into ‘choo-choos’, and especially so after introducing him this Christmas to The Polar Express. Every train we see is now “Pow-lar.” It felt like a no-brainer to choose this as the theme for his big day. I had so much fun imagining a magical space for the kids to walk into and feel like they were in a Christmas wonderland.

Because Knox’s birthday is just before Christmas, we are trying to be incredibly intentional about making his birthday a separate event each year. But, at the same time, it IS right before Christmas so making sure we don’t over splurge is also a major factor. This party was simple, fun, and I spent less than $200 on food/decor/etc.

I laid a choo-choo track for the kids to follow into the living room with white washy tape from Amazon.

I purchased this 12 ft DIY Balloon Arch from Lushra, and was really impressed. (I bought a balloon inflater as well from Amazon.) It took me less than an hour to make this! I did have a VERY difficult time hanging it, so we had to do it as a wall piece rather than an arch, but I was still really impressed. Next time I will need a little more direction from them on how to place the balloons so it’s hangable.

A simple hot cocoa and popcorn bar was a hit for our crowd! I filled Thermos Canisters with pre-made cocoa, and had 3 different types of pop corn for everybody to create their bowls with for the movie. I had a lot of fun laying out this treat board!

Y’all… This “cake” was a HIT. I bought the famed Costco cinnamon rolls ($6.50 for this huge pack!!!) and used it for my cake base. I heated them up accordingly, following the directions on the package. Then, I took cream cheese frosting and spread it out like a true cake. YOU GUYS. It was so good. I wanted something simple, because I knew there were so many other treats to pick from for the night. I was scared people wouldn’t eat it, as so often cake goes at a party. I didn’t want to pour a lot of time or money into the cake because of that. But, it was GONE by the end of the night, and not without a whole bunch of compliments. Shoot, now I am revealing my secrets about how stupid easy it was… 😉

For the living room, I laid out blankets and pallets for the kids, Knox’s play tent, and pillows. The kids came ready for the movie in their pajamas and on theme for The Polar Express. I will say… the movie was a bit of a suggestion. I would probably do the order differently in the future, but it was still a blast. The kids were just so riled up on treats and from opening gifts beforehand that when it was time to watch the movie, they just all wanted to play with Knox’s new toys (Which I don’t blame them! He got some SWEET gifts from our friends!!).

My favorite thing in the world is creating an environment for people to enjoy. I love planning parties and finding ways to make my home a special, inviting space for our friends and family to come to. Our home was certainly packed full with our favorite people, celebrating our favorite little boy. I am forever thankful for the people God placed in our lives over the last 4 years and the friendships that truly are like family. I couldn’t do this and wouldn’t be the mommy I am to Knox without every single person that was under our roof that night. Proverbs 18:24 says “Friends come and go, but a true friend sticks by your side like family.” We are so grateful to have people around us that fit the latter part of this scripture. Seasons of life are so unpredictable. But, the people who will walk through them with us are not. And for that, I praise God.

Knox is TWO!

December 12, 2019

And just like that, my baby is a toddler. It makes my insides ache, but I also couldn’t be more proud of the kid he is growing into. Being Knox’s mom has been the best adventure I have ever gone on. He is sweet, gentle, thoughtful, obedient, silly (so silly!), strong-willed, and tender. It’s funny, the first birthday is so sentimental and reminiscent. A celebration of “we made it a year without dying.” But this one, it’s sweet in such a different way, because it’s actually celebrating a little boy with a growing personality. For weeks we have been working up to K’s Polar Express birthday party, asking him if he’s excited and who he wants to see. And he ACTUALLY has friends he says. Ugh, it’s so fun. I love being his mommy.

This morning, as Paul and I sat anxiously waiting for him to wake up so we could give him his gift, scrolling through old photos and videos of baby Knox, I had this overwhelming realization. Here we are, pouring tons of effort and excitement into making this one day as special as possible for our son. We love him so much that we want every single little detail to feel exciting and special for today. Of course, we want him to feel special and loved every day of the year, but a birthday just is different. We got his favorite foods and invited his best friends over to celebrate him. I meticulously laid a tape choo choo track on our wood floors from the door to the living room, and we bought him an electric vintage Bronco. And it was on the couch this morning that I realized, giddy and heart racing with excitement for him to start rustling in his crib, that this is exactly how the Lord feels about us every single day. He has gifts, new mercies, and intentionally laid out opportunities for us to see Him and know Him more every day. To experience just how much He loves us and all simply because He DOES. Every breath we take is an intentional, thought out gift from our Creator. He gets giddy as we rise in the morning thinking, “Look at all the great things I have laid out for them today!”

WOW.

It’s truly incredible how I feel I learn more and more about God’s character through my son. Whether it’s his pure joy and love for people that I want to be more like, or the way he pulls out in me a glimpse of the same kind of love our Father has for us. Motherhood has rocked my world. It’s made my eyes a little darker, the creases on the sides a little deeper. It’s tested my patience and made me a little crazy at times. But it’s also made me happier than I ever thought possible. The lack of sleep, the nagging “mama” as I try to ignore being asked for the same snack 300 times in a row, the kid on the bathroom floor while I just try to pee in peace… it’s all worth it. Every bit of it. My heart has been morphed into a reflection more like Christ’s all because of a little toe-head boy with a crooked, toothy grin over the last two years. I may lay my head on my pillow at night exhausted and ready for sleep, yet I also find myself scrolling through videos and aching for him to be awake again. Isn’t it funny?

Knox Chandler, you will change the world. Here’s to your third year of life and making it special. Thanks for showing me Jesus every day.

xoxo, Mom

Also, y’all… This Vintage Bronco is the BEST GIFT. I honestly can’t believe the price, especially after seeing this thing in person. It’s huge and has so many amazing details. Knox played on it all morning and I can’t wait for walks in the neighborhood with it.

What Makes Me Smile

December 10, 2019

Merry Christmas! Today I have teamed up with an amazing service called Smile Generation to share what makes me smile this holiday season.

To me, enjoying the holidays means slowing down to actually enjoy it. Gone are the days of saying “yes” to everything and flying by the seat of my pants, barely making it through the holiday season with so much as a single night home to enjoy my tree. I don’t want to live like that, and I hope you don’t either. Life is too short to live by other people’s expectations and obligations!

What makes me smile are slow nights in my home with cocoa, a fire, and Christmas pajamas watching Knox play with his choo choo by the Christmas tree. It’s watching my favorite Christmas movies with my husband. It’s dancing to Ella Fitzgerald’s Christmas album in the living room. It’s making my favorite family dishes and forgetting to count the calories. It’s driving through neighborhoods and pointing out our favorite Christmas light displays. It’s saying “hello” to the stranger at the mall or buying them their cup of coffee. It’s eating our traditional Christmas Eve meal around the table on my great grandma’s China. It’s setting up Santa Claus after Knox has gone to bed. It’s baking cookies and eating that third one just because it’s Christmas and you can. It’s calling your family Christmas morning that you don’t get to be with. It’s watching their face light up when you see them open the gift you knew they wanted the most.

So many things make me smile at Christmas time, and you can find me grinning ear to ear all season long. I feel like a little girl all over again during the holidays, and especially so now with a son to celebrate the magic with. I am proud to partner with Smile Generation, because they take the burden off your shoulders of trying to find the very best for your family. Every mom wants the best for their kids, and now you can find it without the pesky (and sometimes pricey) trial and error. We’ve had our fair share of bad doctors and dentists, and I certainly never want others to have to go through the “sifting through” process like we’ve had to do. Smile Generation has done it all for you, finding the best dental and oral cosmetic offices for you so you don’t have to worry about it. Whether you need just routine care for your family (those twice a year appointments!!), whitening, braces… you name it, they can help you find the best! And with less worry, you can focus more time and attention on the people you love most. And that is something you can always smile about (with pearly whites, might I add)!