The Cake by Hannah

A small town girl spreading kindness like buttercream frosting

SURPRISE! Baby #2 is coming!

EEEP! I told you we’ve been working hard on a lot of stuff over here on The Cake that’s kept me a little MIA… Growing a second human is HARD WORK, y’all. But, praises, I am in the second trimester now and feel so much better.

We are expecting a baby boy in July of 2020!

I will be sharing  a lot more about this pregnancy and all that it’s entailed, emotionally and physically, but -in short- we are truly so excited to be having a healthy little boy! I really didn’t expect another little boy, let alone know if I could handle being pregnant again after all that happened during Knox’s pregnancy and birth, but here we are. And, man, God is so faithful. For months before I felt it was time to try again, I prayed… okay, begged… that if God wanted me to have another baby then I couldn’t be sick like I was last time. I was terrified. No way I could do this again with a toddler and zero family around to help me during the day. My first trimester with Knox, from weeks 6-13 I was on my back literally all day and slept for about 5 of those every afternoon. I was so sick and even LOST 10 pounds my first trimester, because I just couldn’t eat (well, except for egg drop soup from PF Changs, hehe.) If this pregnancy had been my first, I would be saying, “Ohh I was so sick!” But, thank God for perspective, because this pregnancy has been a BREEZE compared to Knox’s. I have been able to function at about 80% most days, though tired and nauseous pretty consistently, never unable to do what I needed to do and without feeling like I completely couldn’t care for Knox on my own. Most days, I got sick around 2-5 PM, which worked for us. Paul could be home in the afternoons most days so I could sleep it off or try to get work done. There were other days I was too sick or really needed help because pregnancy tired is like NO OTHER tired, but we just adjusted our schedule those days. I am so thankful for a husband who loves to help and who has a job that cares about family first. He’s been so great.

Aversions? A couple, but not near as debilitating as Knox’s long list of foods not allowed in our home during the first trimester. I had two, and actually sitting here having to think about them is making me want to vomit. So moving on.

Name? We have it. But it’s a secret. 😉 We will tease it and play games like we did with Knox before he was born, but people are crazy. And they have opinions about things they shouldn’t even care to have. So, for now, my baby’s names will remain secret until they’re here in the world. But, his name is truly special and I believe will mark him for his purpose, just as Knox’s has. Knox’s name means light maker on a hill. It makes me cry every time I think about how I already see that being lived out by him through his gentle yet fierce spirit and desire to include everybody. He cares deeply for people. I pray and declare over Knox that he will be a light maker for all to see. (Matthew 5: 14-16)

Baby R will be a conquerer. Paul and I both just knew when we said his name as an option that it was the one. That’s all I am giving you for now. 😉

Finding Out:

So I don’t know if I am like “Spidey Senses” when it comes to my hormones and body? But, both times now that I have been pregnant, I literally wake up and know I am pregnant and then have the daunting two-ish weeks of knowing I am pregnant but not REALLY knowing. I couldn’t stand it, so we bought pregnancy tests about 5 days too early, but I just hoped my hormones would be crazy high enough to miraculously show the two lines. Well, womp. It didn’t work… shocker. We giggled about it, but I was like “But, just you wait. I am pregnant. I know I am. I feel it.” The days passed and I continued to anxiously pray for the baby I was pretty certain was in my belly. I was getting so uneasy and frustrated that I couldn’t take a test yet. I was pretty irritable because I hated not knowing. Then, one night during the week, I went to a prayer night at my worship pastors’ house, and they prayed over me. One of them looked at me and said, “Hey God wants you to know that whatever it is you’re praying so hard for, you already have it. It’s yours.” I wept. Like WEPT. I knew without a shadow of doubt I was pregnant. I didn’t even need a test, really, at that moment. I knew.

Two nights later, I took a test and knew it could maybe show now for the early detection test. It was still slightly early (a day before it should show according to the “Six Days Before” test.) But, I was confident … and desperate. I took the test and then closed my eyes, half in fear and half too excited to look. I opened my eyes, though, and to my shock it said negative. I literally said out loud on the floor of my bathroom, “No, I know that isn’t true. You promised me.” So I closed my eyes again and began praying out loud that I know God is the God of promises fulfilled and that I was pregnant, and to please just show the positive early so I could feel at peace and not question it anymore.  I opened my eyes and stared at the test on the floor in front of me and WATCHED the second line appear right before my eyes. What. Won’t. God. Do.

He didn’t have to show me early. And, of course, I didn’t have to be pregnant. Sometimes we believe in faith for things that won’t come to pass. I know that as truth in a very real and raw and fresh way. But, here, I was a day early for science to make sense of my test. But, He cared for my anxious heart. I watched Him show me the second line that I knew should be there. Faith can move mountains. Or, in this case, pink lines before they’re “supposed” to.

To be honest, it feels weird sharing such sweet news in the middle of crazy times. The brink of war in our nation, dearest friends who have lost babies, and others who haven’t conceived yet. Utter disappointment seems to be around every corner as of late. But, I hope that somehow this story of joy and God’s gentle care for us shines through. He cares for you, too. He cares just as much for your joy as he does for your hurting heart, your frustrations, and your fears. I have learned a lot about disappointment lately. Maybe I will share about some of it one day, but maybe not. But, regardless, I do understand feeling disappointment. I understand frustration. I understand confusion. I understand feeling devastated by circumstances.

But, God is good. He is faithful. He will show you that in His time however He chooses to in your specific situation. It will look different than mine. It will look different than your friend’s. It will be specific to you. But, I know He is good and He will show up. I eagerly wait with you, just as I did on my bathroom floor declaring truth and begging for a miracle to still my anxious heart. I hope the same for you today.

Thank you for being here. Thank you for loving my little (growing!) family. We are so grateful for each and every one of you. Truly, just so grateful.

xoxo,

Hannah, Paul, Knox, and Baby R

Photos by the always freaking talented Cottonwood Road Photography for The Cake by Hannah

Location: The Lumen Room-Plano

The Best Gift You Can Give Your Husband

Yep, I have searched high and low and tried it all. Want to know what the BEST gift of all to give your hubby is? Better than any set of golf clubs or Nikes or getaway vacation… Better than any date night or fancy restaruant. I have the key to your marriage that will help you stand solid through thick, thin, and all the things.

It is honor.

Hannah… say whaaaaa? Perhaps you’re thinking, “Yo, I was looking for a practical, what to buy kind of post here and you’re telling me an action?” YEP. Sure am. Y’all want to know the truth? I was the actual worst our first year or two of marriage. Like, so bad. So selfish, so prideful, so naggy. Like, I was the kind of woman that I now want to grab the hand of and say, “Hey, can I love on you a little and help you a bit?” We know what it is like to go to bed angry over and over again. We know what it is like to be broke as… well, a lot of words I won’t type out. We know what it’s like to have, what feels like, everything coming up against you to test your marriage and patience with one another. Jobs, relationships, people, money. ALL OF IT.

But through it all, what changed our entire dynamic was when I learned to honor my husband. Not our bank account, not our home, not anything. Because listen to me, those things can certainly help relieve stress I suppose. But if it’s not your bank account, it will be something else. Guarantee it. None of that will help you and your husband stay strong and connected when it feels like your world is caving in. None of those are the heart level fix that needs to happen. But, HONOR. I can’t say it enough. I saw a new man, new leader, and a new marriage form when I started to drop my pride and honor the mess out of Paul.

What’s this look like? What’s that mean?

Glad you asked. 😉 This looks like ALWAYS publicly praising, privately discussing. I felt so frustrated with Paul (and marriage in general from unhealthy expectations) early on that I convinced myself the only way he’d ever listen to me was if I talked down about him and tried to rally people behind me in group settings. I always nagged and dug at the things that were bothering me in front of people so that I felt like we had “accountability”… so bad. So dishonorable. The best thing I learned was to discuss in private the things that I don’t like and then with a mentor when necessary. If Paul says or does something in front of people now that I don’t like, then I tell him later. Never in front of people. Dishonor to your husband is delivered in the form of correction and embarrassing him in front of people. I was a PRO at this, and I so wish I could change those first years. But, I can’t. So, here I am helping you as much as I possibly can so that you don’t have to maybe go through what we did because of my inability to honor Paul.

Honor is respecting him as the leader of my household and following what he thinks is best for us, even if I disagree. Don’t hear me wrong. We are far from totalitarian type of home. We have a VERY equal relationship. Equally yoked and equal responsibility in the home. I run our budget, I choose how we spend our money, and I get to tell him “no.” BUT, at the end of the day, if I want Paul to live in his role entirely as the leader of our household, then I must honor him as such. I have to let him make choices I might disagree with to help him learn and become all that God has called him to be.

My “concerns”, also known as pride more often than not, could actually be squashing the man God has within my husband if I don’t allow Him to work through my husband. I gotta move out of the way, y’all. And you do, too. At the end of the day, if I believe I need to be heard on absolutely every little thing and NEVER pick my fights… I am actually trying to be God for Paul. Plus, for reeeeal, picking EVERY battle as “Match-worthy” is exhausting. I cannot be his holy spirit. I am his helper, but I am not convicter nor am I God. How prideful of me to think I need to go to battle over EVERYTHING. PICK THEM WISELY.

When I learned to honor who Paul is and for where he’s at, AND learned to build him up both behind closed doors and in front of people, our marriage changed drastically. Like… we are different people today than we were 5 years ago. PRAISE THE LORD. I used to cry in our closet every single night. We had a loft… so literally there were only two doors to pick from that I could retreat to hehe. But, I can’t help but wonder if I had honored my husband more what those first years could have been like. God did use that season to do a WORRRRRRK in my heart, though. That season did not go without good coming from it. Praise the Lord He can make beauty from ashes. Perhaps it is true that I would have never seen the pride in my heart if I never went through those first years of marriage as they were. God used it for ME and HIS glory.

Life Lesson: I can’t expect somebody, anybody in my life, to be honorable if I don’t first honor them. That stretches far beyond just a spouse. That’s in LIFE.

The Win: I have seen my husband FLOURISH in his gifts since I learned to honor Paul. I don’t think that’s a coincidence at all. I think we are called as wives to call our husband’s higher. And, sometimes, that means honoring EVEN WHEN our pride wants to fix/correct/call-out… And know what I learned in all this? I needed to remove the log from my own eye before ever trying to help Paul out with his tiny specks. I was a mess. I had baggage. I had some serious pride that needed excavating- not Paul!

This is the beauty of marriage! HONOR not only called my husband to a healthy position to flourish in all his giftings, but it also called me higher and grew me to become a better human. I started to forgive quicker, pick fights a lot less, diffuse confrontation healthier and faster, and appreciate my husband so much more. I hope the same for you!

How will you choose honor today?

Burgundy Dress + Knoxy Update

Happy Labor Day and happy Mommy Monday, gal pals! I hope you are getting a nice day off and enjoying some extra time with the family.

It’s officially September and I have pulled out all of my favorite transition pieces that are my favorite fall colors (but can also beat that heat here in Texas still!). This burgundy dress is SO CUTE and the fit with the bunching on the sides is very flattering for every shape! It’s also conveniently enough a great one to chase after your babes in because it stays put. I can speak from experience, obviously… 😉 It’s also available in olive and a gorgeous slate gray that I think I might need to get!

Shop here.

But gosh y’all, it’s seriously so crazy watching Knox in this season. We are just shy of 2 years old and he is a full-on little boy. I am loving it! He wants to see everything, asks questions *of course we can’t understand half of them..haha*, and he is doing 3 word sentences randomly that blow me away. He is so kind and gentle, funny, and I just feel so lucky to be his mommy. I think my favorite thing currently that he does is he will walk around with his Buzz Lightyear, “shhh shhhh shhhh-ing” him while he pats him on the back. He no doubt picked this up from the nursery at church and it kills me. He is so sweet. Yesterday at church I had one of those moments that I was like “WOW God, help me to really develop this nurturing side of Knox and keep him a kind kid” when the ladies in the nursery told me he was going around making sure every kid had their cup and was patting babies on the back and playing with their hair if they were crying. Like… WHAT? So special. I want to bottle up his sweetness and save it for later.

We prayed every night when Knox was in my belly for a fierce spirit with a tender heart. I feel like we are getting to see that tender heart play out already and it just truly melts me. Mamas, pray over your children and watch God show off. It grows my faith constantly to see things I prayed so specifically for pan out in different areas of my life, parenting or not, with no explanation than the Lord’s doing. How sweet God is to hear our prayers and answer them just to show He cares.

Have a great day, friends! You are rockstars and so loved.

My bag is the Original Fawn Design.

All photos by Cottonwood Road Photography for The Cake by Hannah

8 Things That Changed Our Home and Marriage

Today is about something I feel really passionate about, and I hope it is helpful to you! Let me start this by saying Paul and I haven’t always had a “great” marriage (oy to our first year). Loved one another always. Communicated well? That’s a big fat NOPE. 😉

We have certainly had seasons we definitely were butting heads more than we were in sync, and even still we can *of course* have “off days.” But, I would say we are lightyears from where we started, best friends, and I truly would’t want to hang out with anybody else more than him. Our fights diffuse way quicker and we are on each other’s team! We’ve changed some things in our home and implemented routines that matter to us and have established for us a home culture that is peaceful, unified, and rooted in our faith. I really do believe (with counseling and mentorship!) that these are some practical ways our home has transformed into a peaceful and flourishing space for us and Knox to live.

“Take my yoke upon you and learn from me for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.” Matthew 11:29

This scripture is so good! Though it’s obviously not God speaking into relationships or our homes specifically, we are called to match God’s heart. And the more we take on his character of humility and gentleness, we will find peace! In  our homes, our marriages, our friendships. Everything!

Our individual relationships with God spur one another on together- it’s not the other way around.

When we got married, we knew that we were both serious about our relationship with God. But, for us, we’ve really watched our marriage grow the more we’ve valued our personal quiet times with God. Asking one another questions about our prayer life, worries, fears, etc… these help us grow even closer. But, it starts with our own personal relationship and time with the Lord. And, the more we grow in Christ as individuals, the more our home and marriage changes. It’s all hand in hand.

Getting control of finances and spending.

Mo money, mo problems… right? But, no let’s get real for a second. Careless spending and a frustrating bank account can be a tension point for couples. It really is true! It’s not about how much, but are you spending what you have well? Learning how to manage money, wise investments, and a healthy budget has changed our lives! Seek help and I promise, you’ll be amazed. Again- it’s not about how MUCH. It’s about learning to be wise with what you have!

Say sorry, and you don’t always have to “win” or be understood.

Holla! This one is for me. Listen, I get it. If you are a justice seeker, the need to “win” a fight can be a downfall of ours because we feel so deeply moved by our convictions or frustrations. Our marriage changed when I stopped needing to win. And, frankly, so many of my battles were rooted in unmet expectations that weren’t worth a battle to begin with. This has been a game changer for MY life and my marriage. I am not angry about things I can’t control in my marriage or home like I used to be. This affects me and my personal health more than anybody or anything else! I just feel… lighter? It’s the best word I can find to explain how it feels to care less about things that just don’t matter.

Help one another, take on burdens (chores included!!).

Ain’t nothin’ sexier than an empty sink. But for real, I feel like we are in it together when we evenly take on the burdens and challenges of every day things. Groceries, chores in the home, paying bills. We split it all!

Serve the local church together.

“Hannah, you guys work at a church. Of course you do.” NAH, you can too. And it’s important you do. Whether you are leading a small group or serving as a greeter at the front door together, SERVE. Serve the church and serve the vision to bring more people “home” together. Nothing will unify your home more.

Spend time at least once a week intentionally catching up on things without any distractions- worries, excitements, schedules, etc.

I mentioned this briefly above, but ask one another intentional questions and sit down to for real talk at least once a week. We honestly do this just about every night at dinner together. This includes discussing our week together, our schedules, current joys and frustrations, etc. I feel like our home is less chaotic since we’ve started valuing this!

Pray together.

It doesn’t have to be fancy. We pray together laying in bed before we fall asleep. Paul will usually ask, “What do you want me to pray for tonight?” It can be 30 seconds or it may be significantly longer. But pray together!

Be best friends and find joy in life together.

Paul really is my best friend. I hate experiencing things without him! All of the above things I have mentioned have laid the foundation for this. It’s a journey and one that isn’t anywhere near perfected (and never will be!). But our home and marriage is significantly different because of these things, and I think they can work for you, too.

Take these and tailor them to your own family! Pick things you value together, and stick to them. Fight for goals together. Write them on your fridge… Whatever it takes! Your home WILL change as you implement unified values together.

xoxo,

Han

Quick Fixes That Make Me a Better Human ;)

Heya friend! I hope this finds you well and doing something that gives you joy today. I wanted to just give a quick check-in on life through this here computer screen, and chat as though we are the best of friends. 😉 I hope you get encouraged and make some small changes that make a big difference for you after reading this.

Summer is always a time for us to slow down. Personally, for Paul and me, it’s a break between the biggest seasons at church – Easter and Back to School/Fall ramp-up time. But can I be honest with you? The last, well, few months if I am honest, I have been short, not relaxed, and not really myself. There have been nights I was in such a “funk” that Paul had to turn on Steve Harvey videos from YouTube or Funniest Home Videos to get me to lighten up. This summer so far, I have been kind of a pain to be around. Yikes. My time with the Lord has been quick, if at all, and even my prayer life was nearly non-existent. I realized a couple of weeks ago that I needed to change something and FAST. My body was even starting to have the same signs and symptoms of a few years back when I basically shut down. If you were around, you remember I had Adrenal Fatigue, yeast overgrowth in my body, and we learned I was allergic to yeast in addition to the gluten allergy I was diagnosed with a couple years before. I was exhausted all the time, short-tempered, in pain, and just really not “me.” Luckily, having been through that once before, I was more aware that it seemed as though the same thing was happening, and I wouldn’t live with it for 3 years before doing something about it this time… ha. I know, crazy right? I lived like that for years, because I didn’t want to go to another doctor just for them to tell me “All your tests are normal, you’re fine” like I had been my entire life when in reality I was being overlooked and falsely diagnosed.

Anyways, I wanted to share with you some simple changes I have made, because I know I am not alone in this. I made just a couple of slight fixes to my routine two weeks ago, and almost immediately I felt like a better human. For real, a more patient and loving mom, a better wife, a better friend. And all because of just a couple changes to the way I start my days.

  1. I was in the habit of sleeping until Knox woke me up. I was so exhausted that this made sense to me. But, I was waking up in an immediate state of frustration. With a grunt and throwing off of my covers, I was walking to the nursery to get my son angry, still half asleep, and not at all in a good mood. This followed me all day long- short-tempered, quick to get angry at Knox, not present, and just going through the motions with my son. Then, by the time my husband got home, I all but tossed the baby to him and would go be alone- missing out on time with Paul and with the three of us together. Fix: I started waking up with Paul at 6 AM again to do my devotional time, pray, and even read for fun. By the time Knox starts waking up, I have already had time to myself for about an hour and a hot cup of coffee in my system. I am not kidding y’all, starting DAY 1 of this, I was more patient with my son. Such a small shift with massive changes.
  2. I decided to do, I suppose, a cleanse? I cut out sugar and my glass of red wine for two weeks and it helped my nerves and patience. Sugar absolutely can play a role in your irritability, and I would really encourage you to cut it out if you’ve noticed that in you lately. In addition, as mentioned, my body was starting to show signs of being sick again, likely from getting glutened or eating yeast, and sugar 1000% plays a role in making that worse!
  3. I got way out of my routine and stopped going to the gym 3-5 days a week. I was MAYBE going once a week, but even went two whole weeks without. YIKES. Going to the gym makes me a better person. For real… it does. It’s some “me time” that makes me feel better, balances hormones, and get’s my creative juices flowing. Cutting that out because “I don’t have time” is NO GOOD for myself (or anybody I do life with… haha). I have been forcing myself to go again 3 times a week at minimum, and have been trying new workouts to mix it up for me and excite me about going. It’s been so helpful!

I feel like myself again, and it’s only been two weeks. Try this out if you are feeling “not quite like myself”, and I promise you’ll be amazed at what these little fixes and tweaks do for you.

xoxo,

Han

 

|| Get in Touch ||

thecakebyhannah@gmail.com

LET’S GET SOCIAL

|| Don’t Forget ||

Eat cake, be merry & kind
your info