Today’s Sweet Thoughts devotional is a guest post from one of my best friends, Summer Rangel. We have been friends since she sat behind me in Biology class in the 10th grade, and I am so glad she did! Summer is one of the best, kindest, most gentle-hearted humans I have ever met, and I am so stoked you get to see and hear a bit of that today. I wanted today’s devotion, which would usually go out by email to those of you who are signed up for my weekly emails, on the blog for everybody to read. When I asked for Summer to write a devotional for you guys, it only made sense she shared her journey of taking a massive leap of faith with her husband to plant a church in New York City! I hope her faith to step into the unknown encourages you!

If you’d like to join my Tuesday morning devos, click here to join the community.

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My name is Summer Rangel, and I live in Astoria, Queens in New York City. My husband, Danny, and I are both baristas in a local coffee shop, we love taking pictures, eating Mexican food, and just love living life together.

Today I am going to share a story with you. One filled with lots of stress, fear, panic attacks, prayers, grace, provision, joy, and peace that surpasses all understanding.

In 2014, my Husband and I were living in a small town near Corpus Christi, TX, serving a small church as the youth ministers. It was then that God ordained a meeting like only He could do, which began a stirring in our hearts for a place and people we’d never even met or been to. 

I remember getting a call from Danny as soon as he left that meeting, and lemme tell ya- he was pumped for what he just heard about the work going on in NYC. Long story short, after rejections of mission trips, a move to a different church for a different job, and plans falling through, in July of 2016 Danny and I (along with 23 other people) finally made it on a mission trip to Queens, NYC!

We fell in love with Queens. Not because of the big city lights, subways, or even the food (well… yeah, the food, too…), but it was for the people. Our heart both broke and began to tether itself to the city. After years of joking about moving to NYC, God without a doubt called us to move to Queens in March of 2018 to plant a new church in the neighborhood of Woodside. We felt God telling us to stop visiting and start investing in these people.

The decision was long awaited to make the move, and not without some serious doubts.

The Financial Struggles/Provision

I could not see a logical or practical way Danny and I could make it financially here. I came up with so many reasons that justified NOT moving to New York City, despite the deep yearning I had within me. 

1. I didn’t finish school so I don’t have a degree; no degree = no job = no liveable income.
2. We are planting a church — churches that don’t exist yet don’t pay very well.
3. Taxes. A week after we made the decision to move we received our tax bill, and we owed everything we had in our savings account. So, all that money we had been saving and was helping us feel a tad bit better about the crazy move we were about to make… GONE.

When we made the decision to actually do this crazy thing of church planting in the country’s biggest city, we planned on moving a year from then. That would make our big move in March of 2019. It seemed logical, and would allow us time to build a support team and save money (especially after losing all our savings just weeks after we had decided to take the leap because of a crazy tax ordeal!). After about four weeks into our calling, we realized that a year was way too far away. And, to prove it, God was already doing crazy things to provide for us to go sooner. So, March 2019 turned into August 2018. In August, our church held a love offering for us to help us start our move as best as possible. By God’s amazing grace we had $40k in our NY fund account. That set us up to buy winter clothes, rent for many months for our NY apartment, travel expenses getting there, furnish our apartment…Just so much. God is SO good.

What We Left Behind

Change is always challenging, even when it’s welcomed. Leaving our church family at the church we both worked on staff for was one of the hardest things Danny and I have been through together. We sold about eight bags of clothes, all of our furniture except our mattress, our brand new dream car that we had just purchased a couple of months prior, and were leaving behind life as we knew it.

People would tell us things like how our faith was increasing their faith, how they wish they could be “Christians” like us, or that there’s only a few that are called who actually go.  When you hear so much praise for simply being obedient… it can be tempting to have a self-righteous mind set about all this. I could easily fall into thinking, “Oh yeah, you’re right. This IS crazy and I AM stepping out in so much faith.” It’s awesome that what we are doing is strengthening others faith in the Lord and all…  but every time I heard something like that, it just reminded me how much I needed the Lord. And, how nervous I was about all this.

“Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you. Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. Resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same kinds of suffering are being experienced by your brotherhood throughout the world.”

‭‭1 Peter‬ ‭5:6-9

The Anxiety

Once it hit me that we were actually dropping our entire lives to move 2,000 miles away, I started to experience anxiety in different ways pretty regularly. One day I was at work just talking with someone and my chest got super tight and I couldn’t breathe well. I literally ended up in a cold storage closet texting my sister asking her what the heck is happening to me, and she told me, “Uh, Summer, you’re having a panic attack.” I was in denial haha. I kept saying, “But no, I’m fine. I really am trusting God in this and know He’s going to take care of everything.” I honestly didn’t doubt that God would provide, but that didn’t change the fact that I was so freaking scared for the unknown. This kept happening up until the moment we moved.

I also experienced waking up with a locked jaw almost every morning for about three weeks leading up to our move date, and you know what? Every morning for the first week when we got here to NYC I would wake up with a little less pain everyday. It was just another way of God giving me comfort and confirmation in what we are doing.

I know anxiety is such  common struggle for so many, and a verse that I would read and recite and speak over me was Philippians 4:6-7. 

“Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice. Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

Our Family

Two weeks into our big move, my mom texted me saying my dad found a lump on her head. She said they were going to get some tests done. Just moments before receiving this text, our pastor we planted with had literally just told me I needed to refer to Queens as home now, how I needed to really build deep friendships, and invest here. He even said there could be something that would come up back home that would deter my attention. He had no idea I had just received that text from my momma in that very moment, and I knew God was again giving me confirmation of our calling despite me desire to go home.

The next week on my way to work I got a call that no one wants to ever receive. My mom told me that she had cancer. This began a long journey of leading me in constant prayer, feeling God’s peace like I had never experienced before, and seeing miracles happen.

Because of the over the top generosity of our church who sent us, I got to be with my mom before the tumor removal surgery, after the surgery to be there in her recovery, and also when she finished her radiation treatment. I still praise God for providing a way for both me and Danny to do that. All glory and praise to Jesus, I can say today that my mom’s last screening a few weeks ago came back with no cancer! 

“But you, O Lord, are a shield about me, my glory, and the lifter of my head.”

‭‭Psalms‬ ‭3:3‬ ‭

 

The Now

We have lived in NYC for about nine months now. Things are going well with our church plant, and we are just so grateful for everything God has been doing in and through us since we got here. Church planting is not easy, yet I’m grateful for the challenges it brings. 

One of my biggest challenges since we got here has been not having a routine every day. Working at a coffee shop welcomes crazy hours while my life in Texas was an office job with set hours that didn’t change. The challenge has been figuring out a rhythm. Every day when I leave my apartment I am interacting with people who look different than me, talk differently, believe in different things, and just live totally different lives than me. I LOVE IT. With that, though, I want to be so full of God’s Word that I am an extension of Him to everyone around me. I want His character and compassion, but I will not be those things unless I make time to be with Him and in His Word. It’s so crucial to have His word in my heart when I am immersed in a culture that doesn’t know Jesus. God gently and graciously reminds me to spend time with Him, despite my need to structure and routine, and always blesses me whenever I do give Him my time.  He’s amazing like that. We are praying in faith for big things to happen in Queens Church, and are so honored to be a part of God’s work here in Queens.

“Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.”

‭‭James‬ ‭1:2-4‬ ‭

So here my challenge to anybody who may be reading this thinking God may be calling you into something that is scary and full of unknowns to just trust… It’s a hard life to live in surrender to Jesus, BUT WOW is it fulfilling! Not every day is easy, but I am full of joy and peace knowing we have made the step of faith to pursue calling over comfort. Knowing you’re living in God’s will is the safest I have ever felt. Moving here has shown me God is always for me and never against me. He is for you, too. Do the daring, be bold as lions!

xoxo,

Summer

 

 

 

Hey  y’all! You know, I got on here to write my usual Thursday post about something else (which, yoooo, it’s gonna be good next week haha! It’s Psalm 23!). But, I am actually leaving for North Carolina today and felt like I just really wanted to say “hey” and chat. So, can we do that today… even though it’s a Wednesday? 😉

If you’ve followed The Cake by Hannah since before “Hannah the Mommy Blogger”, first off, THANK YOU. It still amazes me so many of you from so many different walks and places have chosen to include me in some little way in your life for the last 4.5 years. I am so grateful. You’ve become a piece of my life that I cherish. If you’re newer around here, thank YOU for joining in on the fun! Things look a lot different on The Cake by Hannah today than they did 4 years ago, because life has changed so drastically. And since this is a lifestyle blog, it morphs with me. It’s like a digital pair of The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants- it doesn’t ever not fit somehow, but it changes depending on the person. Is that a weird analogy? Or are you with me?… lol. It made sense to me.

Though who I am as a person at my core hasn’t changed, my life has morphed and changed into something so different and, arguably, loads fuller than it was when I first started this journey behind a computer screen. And, honestly, much because of you! When we first started this thing, I was a 22 year old newly-wed working a job that was really freaking hard for me and living in the heart of Dallas. I hated Dallas, but didn’t know it yet, and I needed something to be creative and feel at least a little more “me”. Hence, a blog. I love to write- it was my college degree!- but I wasn’t doing it at all, and I felt like a piece of my soul was missing.

I have shared tidbits about that season from time to time over the years, but honestly still thinking about it makes my stomach turn a little. I am still, 4 years later, processing what all I learned while in that season. The good, the bad, and the very ugly. It was quite possibly the lowest low of my life. Have I have told you guys I was fired from my first job out of college on here? I don’t think I have. I have on my devotionals, and it felt liberating to say finally because I have come to terms with it all. I was challenged in ways far beyond “work” and straight to my core of ethics, respect, and learning to honor those in charge regardless of their being “right.” And, in the end I was fired, which was truly God’s grace to me. It gave me severance and 3 months to figure out what I wanted to do with my life after feeling so shot and miserable for a year and a half. I walked out of that office almost literally limping from feeling so dejected and tapped out.

I have spent the last 3 or so years detoxing the things from my life that made me feel inadequate or unhappy, and have replaced it all with simplicity. It truly has taken about 3 years to get rid of the junk I was needing to release. Moving to McKinney from Dallas to be part of Anchor Church was, in so many ways, the best thing that ever happened to me. I got out of a city where money was a central piece to the culture. If you know… you know. Even if you don’t have any, you had to act like you did. I hated it. It was disgusting. It destroyed me, and I never had felt more insecure in my whole life. I had never in my life thought about or cared more about money than living in Dallas. I grew up hardly thinking about money, and this was such a culture shock to me. When we left, I felt a piece of my soul was back. I was rediscovering who I was, who I wanted to be, and what I wanted my life to actually look like.

The next season I started working PT jobs while growing my own business. I launched The Cake Shop. I started sending out weekly devotionals to connect even deeper with you. I got to buy my first home “with you”. Have my son “with you.” Ugh, I just feel sappy. I am so grateful for what my life looks like now, and grateful for how far we’ve come.

Today, The Cake by Hannah is more than I ever even thought it’d be. Sure, my blog is my creative piece still. I love this space the most out of everything I do! But, it’s also morphed into a sister business, The Cake Media Management. It’s created a team of 3 women I love. It’s brought me more than I ever thought, and it’s all because I said “yes” to the Lord not only the last few months but the last 4.5 years. Even when I felt scared as HELLLLLLLL to say “yes.” I turn 27 in exactly a month from today. Going into the final years of my 20’s actually feels exciting, and I look at my mid-20’s with a stamp of GROWTH across the middle of it. I am literally a different human than I was at 22. Heck, even at 25. It’s amazing what happens when idols and fears no longer rule your thoughts, and I have only seen God’s favor and grace the more I squash them just a little bit more.

So, that’s what I wanted to talk about today y’all. I don’t really have much more to say, but can I challenge you my Cake Community? I believe you have a dream inside you, too. It probably looks and sounds way different than mine, but it’s in there. CHASE IT. DO IT. Know why I was so miserable in my first job? Know why I spent the next couple years fighting off lies in my head because of how low I got? My heart felt sick because my dreams had been squashed. They were tucked under the rug of “not practical”. (Proverbs 13:12) I love The MSG translation of that verse! It says “Unrelenting disappointment leaves you heartsick, but a sudden good break can turn life around.” God isn’t a God of practical though, you guys. He’s the God of big, massive, and unthinkable.

Ask God where that break is waiting, like Proverbs mentions, and squash whatever is holding you back from running straight through it. Thank you, all of you, for being in my life. Thank you for being part of fulfilling the dream in my heart. Thank you for reading my posts, caring for my family, double tapping a pic, sharing about The Cake, and all the things. Thank you.

xoxo,

Han

 

Whether you’re a student trying to get a million projects done, a mom just trying to eat at a normal hour of the day, or a CEO running a business like a boss (literally…), it’s really easy to feel like a clustered mess. I once had a British boss who called this a cluster…f. And though I won’t type that out, there are certainly days I sure feel exactly. like. that.

It’s a good week. Shoot, a good day, if I can make it through feeling like my head is on straight, I didn’t forget anything, and I crossed off my entire to-do list. If I am not careful and intentional with every moment of my day, I can quickly find myself saying, “I feel like a chicken with her head cut off just trying to make it.” It’s taken a long time, a few jobs, and a lot of clustered days to get to a spot that I feel like I am really doing it all with a whole lot less of a “just makin’ it” attitude.

God intended for you to live a quiet and peaceful life. It’s how He designed us to live. It’s what He had in mind for us before sin ever even originated. A perfect picture of the lives God intended for us to live can be seen in Isaiah 32:15-20 . But, dang, we do a good job running from quiet and peaceful lives in the “fertile land.” We live busy, flustered, crazy lives to keep up with the chaos that is our world. Our jobs can rule our days, if we aren’t careful or set healthy boundaries. Our relationships can dictate our mood and perspective. Our finances can control our sense of security. Our fears of the unknown can hinder us in the present.

So, truly this has been a few year long journey of saying “no”, being intentional with my “yes”, living an organized and clutter-free lifestyle, and a life of healthy boundaries and expectations. I have quit jobs that didn’t allow for me to have these things, distanced relationships, and became far more respectful to MYSELF and my hours each day by trial and error.

Here are some of my life hacks and habits to hopefully help you, mom/student/boss/athlete/wife/hard-worker, to achieve a less clustered lifestyle.

1. Slow start every morning WITH breakfast. I know, it sounds wild. But wake up at least an hour and a half before you have to leave the house. *GASP!* This gives you ample amount of time to do a quiet time, pray/journal, drink a cup of coffee (or two…), shower and feel put together, steam your clothes you have for the day (!!!), do your make-up well, leave on time, and not have to race the clock to get where you’re going on time. These are ALL THINGS that will make you feel put together, confident, and at-ease to start the day with. I really believe that how the first hour of your day begins will dictate how hard you have to work to feel at peace the rest of your day. It’s not to say a rough start makes the rest of your day a loss. Of course not! But, it does make it easier to approach the rest of your day with grace and a sound mind.
2. Have food in your fridge ready for every meal, just in case! We keep a tupperware of chicken all week long to have for my lunches and dinners (if need be). Crockpot that chicken on Sunday night or Monday morning, and you’re set. We have healthy food like veggie cakes and salad mixes for me to pair with the chicken, VOILA! Easy, healthy, and no time at all because we prepped for it. We always have waffles or french toast in the waiting for Knox, pasta at all times, bananas, apple sauce pouches, and protein packs for quick and easy meals. He also eats the chicken and veggie cakes for lunch almost every day. This is so helpful to keep us on schedule each day with naps and work without having to start working on meals 30 minutes before it’s actually time to eat.
3. WORKOUT. I made a goal to make it to a class at my gym at LEAST 3 x’s a week at the start of 2019 and I have stuck to it! Really, I make it 4 or 5 times a week, but 3 is my minimum for classes. My gym also gives us up to 3 hours of childcare with our membership, so it gives me such good “me time” to focus, think, dream (all my best ideas come either in the shower or during a workout), and I feel like a better version of me afterward. Paul and I both are just better people when we workout, and we both know it.
4. Write out absolutely everything you have to do for the next day the night before as you’re winding down. I usually do it as I lay in bed. It takes just a few seconds, but it feels like a mental “hanging of my hat” for the day. And, it helps me feel like I know what I need to do the next. I write out my day, including quiet time and gym, and then put the tasks I need to do. I then go back to that note on my phone all throughout the day to delete tasks I wrote out. By the end of the day, my note SHOULD be blank to write out my next day of things. If it’s not blank, that task goes to the top for the next day.
5. Time with my husband. If you’re not married, this is applicable to friends/boyfriend/family. You need healthy time with the people you love. It’s just a fact. TURN OFF ALL “TO-DO’S”! I feel “off” when I don’t get to sit and talk with my husband regularly. I get cranky and short with him. This was a problem long before we even had a kid. We are just hard workers who could literally work from sun up to sun down without hardly a glance up if we aren’t careful. We could easily be on our computers typing until midnight rather than talking and connecting. We are very intentional with this because we need to be, for our mental health and our relationship’s health.
6. Grocery List: We keep a pretty simple grocery list week to week, you can see it here.  But having the list makes Monday restocks EASY PEEZY. Sometimes, if we need to, we do our haul on Sunday after church. But most weeks I know Monday is for groceries, whether I go or Paul does.
7. 5 Wins EVERY SINGLE DAY. At dinner, we ask one another what 5 wins were for the day, and you can say 1 loss or frustration. We get to build up one another, celebrate each other, and help troubleshoot frustrations together.

Heya! Today’s blog post is from this past Tuesday’s Sweet Thoughts devotional that goes out every week to my inner circle’s inboxes at 6 AM. I hardly ever share on The Cake what I send out to my Cake Community via email, because I keep that exclusive to those of you who have signed up to receive my devos. However, this one seemed to resonate with a lot of you. Like… I got so many DM’s and shares on your stories, showing me just how alike so many of us are! None of us are alone in the struggle. And because of that, I wanted to share it with all of you.

And, if you would like to receive these kind of emails every Tuesday then you can sign up here! Maybe your hope for 2019 is to grow closer to God but you don’t know where to start. Start with Tuesdays! This week’s email was a little different- more of a letter than a devotional. But, usually you receive a scripture at the top to read followed by a quick piece about it afterward. I share my rawest and more vulnerable self in these emails, and I am thankful for all of you who already receive these and do life with me through this online community there. You will laugh, you may cry, and I can assure you you will grow to know God more by diving into His word.

 

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Sweet Thoughts Devotional from Hannah: 1/1/2019

And just like that, the holidays are over and a new year has come.

Every year, without fail, on this day I feel just a little sad, just a little nostalgic, and just a little anxious. It’s partly because I can feel the weight of the hustle from the last month finally catching up with me. Even on a year where we truly took it slow and I am very pleased with the space we allowed ourselves to walk in- saying “no” to things that didn’t fill us or make sense for our schedules- I still feel oddly sore, emotionally drained, and incapable of processing what I even want for breakfast. It’s also partly because I am sad to see my family all leave, sending off my parents and siblings once again to their own corners of the country. I ache deep within my belly, wishing for them to stay just a little a longer and hating my two greatest foes: time and distance. Processing these emotions, my introverted self finds herself sitting on the sofa in a people coma, book in hand and a cup of coffee, and a whole lot of nothing to do pencilled in on the calendar.

Does this sound at all eerily familiar to your current situation?

I promise, this all gets happier. 

Read on with me. See, with my usual mix of emotions I have on the 1st of every single new year, I feel more hope today than ever before. I feel anxious, but more so in a good way than I have in a long time. It’s an excitement rather than fear. It’s a realization deep within my bones that I, contrary to what I have told myself for years and years, do not need to nor will I ever make this “my year.” Follow me here… Because my goodness, what pressure we place on ourselves over and over to perform for a crowd for 365 days! Telling ourselves that this is the year we will indeed operate at our finest, most well-tuned self. This is the big one! “This is the year I am going to ___________.”

Hear me: You will not make this “your year.”

For years, as that ball drops and the new year rolls in, I have found myself feeling that odd and all too familiar mix of emotions: a little sad, a little nostalgic, and a little anxious. And, I am guessing you do, too. But why? Because we set ourselves up for failure 365 days before, and spent the following 364 trying to measure up to and please others in order to prove this was “our best year.” We told ourselves lies and made promises we knew we couldn’t keep, and we find ourselves disappointed in ourselves more than anything or anybody else. It’s truly a gross cycle we are caught in, and social media only makes it worse. Our short-comings are on full display for all the world to see, or so it feels. Year after year, one thing after another, disappointment surely follows a list of goals and resolutions we couldn’t perfectly achieve. We feel, despite the fact people really do care a whole lot less than we make ourselves believe, like we let a slew of people down, ourselves at the top of that list, because we didn’t nail perfectly all the things we said a year before that we would do.

And then, as I always hear after the impossible task of perfection… “failure” lingers like a distant echo in our thoughts. 

Failure is the word that haunts me most in the back of my mind. Not just at the start of the year, but in my day to day. Failure is what I believe about myself when I do not achieve “perfection.” And, because perfection is impossible for me to grasp -no matter how hard I try or how close I might get- I hear the lie of “you failed” whispered in my ear often.

But not this year.
I hope the same for you.
I am done believing I didn’t do enough.
I am done believing that I can make things happen. 

See, as a Christian, if it’s true that my life is not my own… Why do I think I can make this year my own? Why do I honestly think I can shape and form my life for the next 365 days? I am not sure about you, but I am done with the cycle of taking my life and my year into my own hands. I will disappoint myself if I think I can make this my best year.

BUT GOD.

God can make this my best year. God can give me joy in the midst of disappointment. God can fill me, tell me I am victorious, and make me whole.

God can make this my best one yet when I bring Him my best and believe that He has the best for me. That, no matter what this year brings or what I do or don’t do, it was all for my good and all for His glory.

Don’t hear me wrong… I believe in setting goals. I absolutely believe in these. I am as goal-oriented and “write it out to cross it off” as they come. But, here’s the difference for me this year, it’s a simple perspective shift. I am done believing I am my Creator. So, this year, rather than making a list of things I will do in 2019, I am counting my victories from 2018 and allowing those to lead me into the new year. What victories do I wan to see this upcoming year?

I want victory over anxiety when people don’t like me, because I know whose I am what I was created for.
I want to have victory over feeling like I am not enough, because I know through Christ I am enough.
I want victory over insecurity, because in Christ I find a firm foundation built upon the Rock.

See, rather than starting at the bottom of the barrel and creating a list of goals I must do in the next 365 days in order to feel “more accomplished” than the one before, I am starting on top. I am looking back at what God did, not me, and how I handled the situations that the Lord gave me this past year to grow. I saw disappointment this past year. I was far from perfect. I wanted to quit time and time again. But with disappointment is the opportunity for hope and growth. That is why, with a perspective shift, I feel hope today more than anything else. The gift of disappointment is that we would not see just how much we need a perfect God if it didn’t exist. I couldn’t recognize growth I experienced in a year if all I do is aim for perfection and get frustrated when I fail to achieve it.

This year, I am letting myself walk in freedom. I am no longer pleasing others. I am no longer setting goals I feel I have to achieve solely because I think I will let other people down if I don’t do it or nail it perfectly. Because let’s be honest. When that is what drives me, more often than not, I am stuck in crippling fear with my feet plastered deep in the ground out of fear of what others might say about it. I am done with it all. I am setting goals for my character, my relationship with God, and the territories I want to claim victory over in my mind and sphere of influence.

Sure, I have had some disappointments in 2018. I have things I want to grow in personally and I have goals for my business. But I have had a hell of a lot of victories over where I wasn’t enough but in Christ I was more than enough, and that’s what leads me today. That is why I have hope today. That is why today feels a little different than other January 1st’s that I have sat in a people coma on my couch.

I pray today you choose to list the victories. I pray you ask God to go before you and show the new places you can claim victory over in 2019. I truly believe the other things on our list of goals we would like to see take place this year will naturally fall into place when our perspective shifts. Our efforts and hard work, that business you wish to start, that fitness goal, or that dream you want to finally chase will truly not be for man when we recognize that our dreams are simply God’s heart for us. Not for us, but to His name, His glory, His victory.

Happy New Year, sweet friends. Go claim victories.

xoxo,
Han