Faith

Claiming Victories

January 3, 2019

Heya! Today’s blog post is from this past Tuesday’s Sweet Thoughts devotional that goes out every week to my inner circle’s inboxes at 6 AM. I hardly ever share on The Cake what I send out to my Cake Community via email, because I keep that exclusive to those of you who have signed up to receive my devos. However, this one seemed to resonate with a lot of you. Like… I got so many DM’s and shares on your stories, showing me just how alike so many of us are! None of us are alone in the struggle. And because of that, I wanted to share it with all of you.

And, if you would like to receive these kind of emails every Tuesday then you can sign up here! Maybe your hope for 2019 is to grow closer to God but you don’t know where to start. Start with Tuesdays! This week’s email was a little different- more of a letter than a devotional. But, usually you receive a scripture at the top to read followed by a quick piece about it afterward. I share my rawest and more vulnerable self in these emails, and I am thankful for all of you who already receive these and do life with me through this online community there. You will laugh, you may cry, and I can assure you you will grow to know God more by diving into His word.

Sweet Thoughts Devotional from Hannah: 1/1/2019

And just like that, the holidays are over and a new year has come.

Every year, without fail, on this day I feel just a little sad, just a little nostalgic, and just a little anxious. It’s partly because I can feel the weight of the hustle from the last month finally catching up with me. Even on a year where we truly took it slow and I am very pleased with the space we allowed ourselves to walk in- saying “no” to things that didn’t fill us or make sense for our schedules- I still feel oddly sore, emotionally drained, and incapable of processing what I even want for breakfast. It’s also partly because I am sad to see my family all leave, sending off my parents and siblings once again to their own corners of the country. I ache deep within my belly, wishing for them to stay just a little a longer and hating my two greatest foes: time and distance. Processing these emotions, my introverted self finds herself sitting on the sofa in a people coma, book in hand and a cup of coffee, and a whole lot of nothing to do pencilled in on the calendar.

Does this sound at all eerily familiar to your current situation?

I promise, this all gets happier.

Read on with me. See, with my usual mix of emotions I have on the 1st of every single new year, I feel more hope today than ever before. I feel anxious, but more so in a good way than I have in a long time. It’s an excitement rather than fear. It’s a realization deep within my bones that I, contrary to what I have told myself for years and years, do not need to nor will I ever make this “my year.” Follow me here… Because my goodness, what pressure we place on ourselves over and over to perform for a crowd for 365 days! Telling ourselves that this is the year we will indeed operate at our finest, most well-tuned self. This is the big one! “This is the year I am going to ___________.”

Hear me: You will not make this “your year.”

For years, as that ball drops and the new year rolls in, I have found myself feeling that odd and all too familiar mix of emotions: a little sad, a little nostalgic, and a little anxious. And, I am guessing you do, too. But why? Because we set ourselves up for failure 365 days before, and spent the following 364 trying to measure up to and please others in order to prove this was “our best year.” We told ourselves lies and made promises we knew we couldn’t keep, and we find ourselves disappointed in ourselves more than anything or anybody else. It’s truly a gross cycle we are caught in, and social media only makes it worse. Our short-comings are on full display for all the world to see, or so it feels. Year after year, one thing after another, disappointment surely follows a list of goals and resolutions we couldn’t perfectly achieve. We feel, despite the fact people really do care a whole lot less than we make ourselves believe, like we let a slew of people down, ourselves at the top of that list, because we didn’t nail perfectly all the things we said a year before that we would do.

And then, as I always hear after the impossible task of perfection… “failure” lingers like a distant echo in our thoughts.

Failure is the word that haunts me most in the back of my mind. Not just at the start of the year, but in my day to day. Failure is what I believe about myself when I do not achieve “perfection.” And, because perfection is impossible for me to grasp -no matter how hard I try or how close I might get- I hear the lie of “you failed” whispered in my ear often.

But not this year.
I hope the same for you.
I am done believing I didn’t do enough.
I am done believing that I can make things happen.

See, as a Christian, if it’s true that my life is not my own… Why do I think I can make this year my own? Why do I honestly think I can shape and form my life for the next 365 days? I am not sure about you, but I am done with the cycle of taking my life and my year into my own hands. I will disappoint myself if I think I can make this my best year.

BUT GOD.

God can make this my best year. God can give me joy in the midst of disappointment. God can fill me, tell me I am victorious, and make me whole.

God can make this my best one yet when I bring Him my best and believe that He has the best for me. That, no matter what this year brings or what I do or don’t do, it was all for my good and all for His glory.

Don’t hear me wrong… I believe in setting goals. I absolutely believe in these. I am as goal-oriented and “write it out to cross it off” as they come. But, here’s the difference for me this year, it’s a simple perspective shift. I am done believing I am my Creator. So, this year, rather than making a list of things I will do in 2019, I am counting my victories from 2018 and allowing those to lead me into the new year. What victories do I wan to see this upcoming year?

I want victory over anxiety when people don’t like me, because I know whose I am what I was created for.
I want to have victory over feeling like I am not enough, because I know through Christ I am enough.
I want victory over insecurity, because in Christ I find a firm foundation built upon the Rock.

See, rather than starting at the bottom of the barrel and creating a list of goals I must do in the next 365 days in order to feel “more accomplished” than the one before, I am starting on top. I am looking back at what God did, not me, and how I handled the situations that the Lord gave me this past year to grow. I saw disappointment this past year. I was far from perfect. I wanted to quit time and time again. But with disappointment is the opportunity for hope and growth. That is why, with a perspective shift, I feel hope today more than anything else. The gift of disappointment is that we would not see just how much we need a perfect God if it didn’t exist. I couldn’t recognize growth I experienced in a year if all I do is aim for perfection and get frustrated when I fail to achieve it.

This year, I am letting myself walk in freedom. I am no longer pleasing others. I am no longer setting goals I feel I have to achieve solely because I think I will let other people down if I don’t do it or nail it perfectly. Because let’s be honest. When that is what drives me, more often than not, I am stuck in crippling fear with my feet plastered deep in the ground out of fear of what others might say about it. I am done with it all. I am setting goals for my character, my relationship with God, and the territories I want to claim victory over in my mind and sphere of influence.

Sure, I have had some disappointments in 2018. I have things I want to grow in personally and I have goals for my business. But I have had a hell of a lot of victories over where I wasn’t enough but in Christ I was more than enough, and that’s what leads me today. That is why I have hope today. That is why today feels a little different than other January 1st’s that I have sat in a people coma on my couch.

I pray today you choose to list the victories. I pray you ask God to go before you and show the new places you can claim victory over in 2019. I truly believe the other things on our list of goals we would like to see take place this year will naturally fall into place when our perspective shifts. Our efforts and hard work, that business you wish to start, that fitness goal, or that dream you want to finally chase will truly not be for man when we recognize that our dreams are simply God’s heart for us. Not for us, but to His name, His glory, His victory.

Happy New Year, sweet friends. Go claim victories.

xoxo,
Han

Advent: LOVE

December 20, 2018

If you receive my weekly devotionals in your inbox, Sweet Thoughts, then you’ve been going through the weeks of Advent with me. We have read more about Promise (the promise the Lord gave to save his people through the words of the Prophet Isaiah), Preparation (Preparing our hearts to remember what Christ did for us and will do), and Joy (the joy that the Lord brought to a dark world, and how we can live in a state of joy by knowing Him).

Because there are technically FIVE weeks of advent and the next Sweet Thoughts would send on Christmas Day, I am mixing it up a little for these final two. Today, week 4, is on love. I hope you know how cared for and loved you are always, but are especially reminded of it today. If you enjoy today’s blog post but aren’t signed up for my weekly devos that hit your inbox at 6 AM every single week… You can sign up right here to join my inner circle community. Being part of my emails means you not only get my weekly devos, but you get first dibs on any new products in the shop or for exciting news!

Today’s Scripture: John 3: 16-18 (ESV & The MSG versions are my favorite!)

Random fact about me: I was a dancer my entire life- from age 3 all the way through college where I danced on the team at my university. Performances were my favorite thing, and knowing people I loved were there in the audience was so special to me. I would always try to find them in the audience before making my way onto the stage, giving a wave and blowing a kiss. As much as it truly meant for them to be there cheering me on, I wanted them to know I saw them. I wanted them to know that their showing up to my performance meant the world and I felt honored, cherished, and loved because of it.

My mom and dad, no joke, missed not a single performance my entire life. Y’all… That’s a lot. We are talking every single one. Every recital, every basketball game, every football game, every show in college. They were there. Usually somewhere right in the middle, because they would get there early enough to assemble themselves in the best seats. As I write about this, it actually makes me cry. They showed up. Their love was shown to me by always being there. On my best days and my worst. The days I hit that triple and the ones I stumbled out of it… they were always there clapping, smiling, and -if you’re my dad- crying more often than not. I absolutely get my cry at the drop of a dime from my daddy, which I think is so sweet. My dad is the epitome of a hardworking man to me, yet he has the most tender, gentle spirit bundled up inside of him. I love that about him.

Anyways, it has been 6 years since I have done any kind of a performance, yet I am brought to tears even now when I think about how much effort it took on their part to be present and show me how much they loved me by being at EVERY. SINGLE. PERFORMANCE.

In that same way, God sent Jesus to us to prove His love and faithfulness. He had promised His people for hundreds of years that He had a plan. But as we know, God’s timing is perfect and they were longingly waiting for it. They waited for dozens and dozens of generations to see the promise fulfilled. And, honestly I cannot blame the Israelites for starting to wonder if they messed up one too many times or if He had changed His mind. But, no no, God didn’t change His mind. He waited until the darkness was too dark to deny -the perfect time- to send His light that would save the world. The darkest of darks needed the brightest light of promise, hope, joy, and love! Isn’t it true that when the light is shown in the darkest part of the night, its light is appreciated most? A light at dusk isn’t as necessary as 2 AM. God waited for His 2 AM, if you will. He showed up in the dark in a most perfect, gentle, graceful, peaceful way to prove His love once and for all. And, not because He has to prove His love. I mean… He is God. But, love shown is love received, and He came for His people so that they would receive His love as a promise fulfilled and doubt His love no more.

Just like my parents showing up, planning ahead of time to make certain they got the best seats, it’s bonkers to me that God loves me even more than that. He loves you, sees you, and celebrates you. On your best days and worst of days, He loves you with a love that cannot be denied. He doesn’t show up to condemn you or accuse you of your wrong-doings as this scripture says, but to prove to you -despite your shortcomings- that you were worth showing up for.

Aren’t you grateful for a Savior who came down, put on flesh, lived a life you couldn’t live and died the death you deserved in order to prove just HOW MUCH He loves you?

Merry Christmas, my friends!

Simplifying This Holiday Season with The Best Gift Ever

November 16, 2018

Is anybody else just totally freaking out that next week is Thanksgiving? I put things on the calendar that I will have to reschedule, because I didn’t even realize it’s already that time. I will be out of town, and literally haven’t even put two and two together that Monday, yes THIS MONDAY, is when I leave to be with my family! WHAT? Where did November go?/my brain…?

Somebody, please tell me that you also have been a semi-hot mess lately. And even if you haven’t been… just lie to me and say you have been. 😉 For a glimpse at the crazy: Yesterday, in a matter of one hour, I managed to turn the corner and run into my superhuman baby who crawls faster than, I swear, any other baby on the planet. Shin to face. And, alas, we have a black eye. Then, I proceeded to accidentally knock him on his face as I was guiding him toward his dad. And then, to top it all off, I turned for 20 seconds while I started dinner to find him in our pantry playing with the plastic knives.

Can I get an “Alleluia!!” that Fridays are Daddy day?

Gosh, this year has flown by. Between the obvious of having my first baby and work, and then the other intricacies of life and relationships that can ebb and flow with a dash of crazy, I just really cannot believe Thanksgiving is here and the holiday season is already back. Would you agree it’s pretty valid to say that this time of year most of us are battling the lie and tendencies of “more, more, more?” Do more, see more, have more. The “crazy notch” goes up a few for the next two months. More than any other time of the year, we find ourselves just trying to keep up with our overcommitments and -worse- desire to spend more, have more, and *as if money could bring this* be more. If we aren’t careful, the holidays can quickly be marked by a time of proving ourselves. But isn’t it meant to be, the heart of the holidays, the complete opposite?

For a long time, the word “simple” felt like a cuss word… Simple? Nobody gets what they want by being SIMPLE. But, friend, can I encourage you? Can I challenge you? What if this year was different? What if rather than falling into the same routine of keeping up, feeling always a few steps behind, you took it slow? What if you recognized with gratitude all the blessings surrounding you at a pace in which you can truly soak it in? What if you chose to keep things simple this year?

Perhaps you have heard- I am releasing my first real, downloadable, printable devotional next week. It will be available on November 23rd, the day after Thanksgiving. It’s a two week study, diving into scripture about the greatest gifts God gave us through Jesus. The gift of hope, fearlessness, love, prayer… just to name a few. I wrote this devotional in a way that every member of the family can grasp. I wrote it simply, fun, and clear so that the both the 4 year old and the 64 year old can benefit from the simplest truths of the Gospel. See, if you ask me, we have done a really good job complicating everything in life, but especially who God is. People are so divided. We can’t even agree within the Church (the captial “C”, everybody who believes Church) about hardly anything, let alone outside the body of believers. *I just made myself delete a long rant about the division in the church to help stay a little more focused in this post that is meant to be about simplicity and living a focused life… baby steps.*

Though this devotional is labeled a “Family Devotional,” because of its ability to speak to the youngest member of your family, I really do feel confident in saying that this is for you, too. Sometimes, the greatest gift we can give ourselves is simplicity. What if all of us reminded ourselves of the simplest truth of who Jesus is, and chunked everything else that doesn’t matter out the window? OH HAPPY DAY! The most pivotal, life-changing moments in my own walk with God, and in Paul’s, have been when we simplified our faith. When we stopped complicating things. Quite literally for Paul, it was when he read the Jesus Storybook Bible to kids as a counselor at camp and remembered the simplest truths about Jesus. Following Jesus is honestly simple. Easy? No. But simple, yes. Why is it simple? Because he’s done the paving of the road for you. We are called to run on it. He’s gone before you. You need only be faithful.

I cannot wait to share this labor of love with you. I cannot wait to see parents feel confident and empowered opening scripture up in their homes with their kids. I cannot wait to hear of college roommates sitting down and doing this together in the midst of finals to remember that, though school and life is crazy right now, the truth of Jesus’ love is simple and unchanging.

Thank you in advance for inviting my family into your home this holiday season. I hope it feels like we are sitting together in your living room, pajamas on and cocoa in hand, learning about Jesus together. My burden and vision for this devotional is that you would feel equipped to spiritually lead in your home- whatever that home and living situation might look like.

So much love for you,

Han

Burgundy Pinafore Dress: @shoplandrykate

Glasses: Here | Similar Shoe: Here | Bow: Here

All photos by Cottonwood Road Photography for The Cake by Hannah

How To Stop Complicating Your Quiet Time

September 18, 2018

One of the top questions I get asked is, “What devotional do you use?” Or some kind of question about how I study the Bible and read for my quiet time.

I get it! Trying to figure out the best and most effective way to tackle your Bible can be overwhelming.

I used to think if I wasn’t getting some huge revelation every morning from diving into my Bible, then I wasn’t doing it right. I thrived so much on the emotion of an encounter with the Lord that when I didn’t feel “the feels”… I thought I was getting farther from God. But here’s my encouragement to you…

Stop over-complicating your quiet time and stop putting expectations on your quiet time.

In your relationships with friends, your boyfriend, fiancee, or husband… do you have an expectation for how they should make you feel every single day? Sure, we don’t want them to hurt our feelings every day.. but in general, we don’t expect them to make us weep with emotion over how much they love us… right? I talk to Paul every day. I engage in conversation and know him well because I am intentional to connect with him daily. BUT, I don’t expect him to sweep me off of my feet every day and bring me to tears by his overwhelming acts of love for me. Things like surprise gifts or love notes are bonuses to our foundation that is rooted in true love, not emotional highs. Those aren’t what we thrive on day to day. The emotional highs of “the feels” aren’t what defines our relationship. You tracking with me?

In the same way, we cannot expect every time we sit down and converse with God to be overwhelming, knock me off my feet, make me cry and get the goosies type of an emotional high encounter. See if that is WHY you spend time with God… then you love the emotional side of faith but… dare I say it… you aren’t actually meeting with God for him to pour into you and let His word soak into you. The emotion of recognizing who God is comes as part of your relationship with God. If an emotional high is your expectation for your quiet time, you will be disappointed by it. And it’s not God’s fault. You will go through seasons. There will be times where it feels like you are crying and getting revelations every time you dig into your Bible. Perhaps you’re sifting through a heart-change or it’s a tougher season and you’re more aware than ever of God’s goodness in your life. And then there will be seasons where the Word speaks to you and pours into you, but maybe not so emotional of a response to it. THAT IS OKAY. That is called a normal relationship.

So, okay. I get it… My time won’t always make me cry and feel “the feels”. But how do I decide what to read?

Pick a devotional or reading plan and finish it! I read the She Reads Truth app every single morning. Usually during Knox’s first nap around 9 AM. I literally write in my planner every single day “Quiet Time/Nap Time” for me to be certain I set time aside for me to spend with the Lord. We are busy people. It’s okay to write in your planner “Quiet Time” to remind you how important it is. I write out by the hour what I am doing in the day to make certain I spend my time well. Why wouldn’t I put in my set aside “Quiet Time”?

In addition to She Reads Truth, I have read through Savor by Shauna Niequist, which is a sweet daily devotional. I also love reading her books in general. They can act as a great tool to use in your quiet time, because her books are written as short stories for chapters. Reading that alongside a She Reads Truth devo every day is a great combo.

Apparently Lysa Terkeurst just released a devotional as well that I have on my must-buy list! I had no idea she had one out until last week when my friend got it for one of our girlies for her birthday gift. I have also read 100 Days to Brave by Annie Downs.

When you read scripture, read it through a couple of times. Slowly. Go slow. I know it’s easy to get into the habit of crossing off “Quiet Time” from your to-do list. It makes our time shallow and fast. Read word for word, and ask for God to make something stick out. Then, whatever sticks out, focus on it a bit and see how it applies to you. Why did it stick out? Then spend 5 minutes in silence praying and worshipping. Put away all distractions. Turn off everything (unless you like music!). Praise God for who He is, and then “by prayer and petition submit your requests to The Lord.” (Philippians 4:6)

Bottom line: Spend time with God. Talk to him all day long. Converse with Him. He wants to talk to you. And sometimes, you will be swept off your feet because God is a great romancer. He is the best friend you always wanted. He is relational and sweet.

How My Son Made Me Love My Body

August 31, 2018

Ladies, let’s chat. Cool?

Whether you are single, in college, engaged, newly married, married with a kid, a high schooler, or a single mom… I think it’s safe to say our bodies are a hot topic, regardless of what stage of life you’re in. I always thought when I was younger, “Oh, when I am “older” I won’t be so weird about my body anymore.” HA. Gosh, I wish. The reality of that thought is that your insecurities don’t disappear with age, they disappear with truth. So, let’s be honest with ourselves. I would venture to say it’s safe to bet that at some point every single one of us has struggled with our body image. I will be the first to raise her hand and say, “I sure have!”

My story? I was a dancer my whole life, and slowly felt the pressure of being “small enough.” Mind you… I was 5’1 and definitely never was overweight to begin with. It was all self-inflicted pressure. I lived my life with calorie counts and checking my side view for years until I withered away to basically nothing. Then, unlike I had hoped would happen as I got older, my insecurities didn’t disappear. They just followed me into college and marriage. It was my insecurities that absolutely subtly effected my perspective on becoming a mom for a long time. I definitely had a list of other fears ranging from no sleep, already hectic schedules, and figuring out how to keep my marriage priority with a kid. But, my greatest fears when it came to the idea of having kids was labor itself, and then the fear of my changing body.

I knew deep down all those other things could be figured out… but what would happen to me? That terrified me most. Funny enough, I was in the best health and shape of my life when I got pregnant. Mentally and physically, I was doing awesome. I had spent years figuring out what I could and couldn’t eat from allergies, and just spent over a year reversing -thanks to a crazy scientist doctor- years of misdiagnosis and doctors telling me “nothing is wrong” when I knew something was. Finally, I wasn’t sick all the time. Finally, I had answers for my fatigue. Finally, I felt like more than a shell of a human being walking around. And, above all, I was so secure in my own skin. And then… I got pregnant. HA. I had to accept my body was about to change drastically. Again. I was about to be exhausted… all the time again. I was about to be nauseous… all the time again. Different reasons this time around, but I was about to feel like crap again. It seemed silly to me. I worked so hard to get healthier, battling both mental and physical sickness, and then as soon as I was feeling great… I felt like it was time to become a mom. Funny how that happens.

But here’s the best part you guys. I realized through pregnancy just how much I love my body. God used my greatest fears to reveal my greatest joys. I found freedom in the midst of my biggest fear. What I thought would be my greatest road block in pregnancy became my favorite part!

Question: What is your biggest fear that, if you took bold steps into, COULD actually be the deliverance you’ve been needing?

Alright, so pregnancy went great. I felt awesome and I was proud of what my body and I just did for 9 months. *high five, body!* And then, my labor didn’t go at all as I had expected and I had to have an emergency c-section. I felt a little betrayed by my body that I had grown to love so much over the last 9 months. For the first time in my life, pregnancy made it feel like we were on the same page. It felt like we were working together… and then, I couldn’t deliver my son. I tried. I tried so hard, and nothing was working.

I thought my body had tricked me, stabbed me in the back. But then I realized it actually was my son’s saving grace. It knew better than I did to not progress or the baby inside of me that I loved so much would die. I have nothing but gratitude for my body. More than ever I can say, “I love this body!” I owe my son’s life to it in more ways than one. It grew my son, every ounce of weight gain and expanding hips, nausea and fatigue… It was all worth it. All I have to say to you, body, is thank you for bringing my best little friend into the world exactly how you knew it needed to be done. So sure, my body lays a little differently now. My tummy region is shaped differently, and no matter how hard we work at it, that bottom little pooch just won’t seem to disappear yet. My ribs legit look different now. They set outward and a little higher than before. But, I love you anyways, body. And, in fact, I vow to never speak ill of you ever again.

I wrote that to my body a couple of months after Knox was born. It’s taken me almost 9 months to talk about it. But, that’s where I am at. Thank GOD our bodies were designed by a creator to do more than we could have ever imagined.

Now, listen. Whether you’re pregnant, just had a baby, or having children is NO WHERE on your radar… It’s amazing how God can use situations we dread in order to show us freedom.

Jesus walked into a situation he absolutely dreaded by saying “yes” to death on a cross. Don’t believe me? He sweat blood he was so anxious and terrified for what was about to come while praying in the Garden of Gethsemane. He begged God to allow this cup to pass… He didn’t want to die a gruesome death. He DID however want you to experience freedom. So, He went. He carried the cross for you, for me, for every insecurity. Through death, freedom was found. Life for all of us came through a painful situation. Aren’t you so thankful Jesus went to the cross? Let Jesus’ example be what leads you into freedom from whatever it might be in your life. Maybe it’s body image, or maybe it’s a tight hold on things you cannot change. Whatever situation you are seeking freedom in, perhaps walking into the depths of what you fear most will reveal a freedom you didn’t even know was possible. Jesus will meet you in the darkness and shed light. You can’t see what parts of you need light, though, unless you do in fact go into the darkness to expose where shadows are dwelling. Perfect love casts out all fear, and darkness literally cannot exist where light is.

Find freedom, friends. I hope you know you’re beautiful. I hope you see there is freedom from whatever your insecurities might be. If you find yourself pinching, poking, and turning to the side to see if it’s a “skinny” day… please, go to the darkness with a torch in hand (psssst, that’s Jesus!) and expose what parts of you need truth.

You are beautiful.

You are made exactly how the Lord designed you.

You are irreplaceable.

You are knit and woven by God, The Creator.

You are special.

You are perfect as you are.

You are enough.

You are worthy.

xoxo, Han

This shoot with Knox is my favorite I have ever done with Hannah from Cottonwood Road Photography. I told her I just wanted something simple. My hair is its natural straight style, these jeans are 3 years old, and my top is from last winter. My nails aren’t painted, and my headboard has a button missing. There was something freeing in and of itself showing up just as I am for this shoot. Also, I mean, look at this kid. WOW. It hurts how much I love him.