Faith

How To Stop Complicating Your Quiet Time

September 18, 2018

One of the top questions I get asked is, “What devotional do you use?” Or some kind of question about how I study the Bible and read for my quiet time.

I get it! Trying to figure out the best and most effective way to tackle your Bible can be overwhelming.

I used to think if I wasn’t getting some huge revelation every morning from diving into my Bible, then I wasn’t doing it right. I thrived so much on the emotion of an encounter with the Lord that when I didn’t feel “the feels”… I thought I was getting farther from God. But here’s my encouragement to you…

Stop over-complicating your quiet time and stop putting expectations on your quiet time.

In your relationships with friends, your boyfriend, fiancee, or husband… do you have an expectation for how they should make you feel every single day? Sure, we don’t want them to hurt our feelings every day.. but in general, we don’t expect them to make us weep with emotion over how much they love us… right? I talk to Paul every day. I engage in conversation and know him well because I am intentional to connect with him daily. BUT, I don’t expect him to sweep me off of my feet every day and bring me to tears by his overwhelming acts of love for me. Things like surprise gifts or love notes are bonuses to our foundation that is rooted in true love, not emotional highs. Those aren’t what we thrive on day to day. The emotional highs of “the feels” aren’t what defines our relationship. You tracking with me?

In the same way, we cannot expect every time we sit down and converse with God to be overwhelming, knock me off my feet, make me cry and get the goosies type of an emotional high encounter. See if that is WHY you spend time with God… then you love the emotional side of faith but… dare I say it… you aren’t actually meeting with God for him to pour into you and let His word soak into you. The emotion of recognizing who God is comes as part of your relationship with God. If an emotional high is your expectation for your quiet time, you will be disappointed by it. And it’s not God’s fault. You will go through seasons. There will be times where it feels like you are crying and getting revelations every time you dig into your Bible. Perhaps you’re sifting through a heart-change or it’s a tougher season and you’re more aware than ever of God’s goodness in your life. And then there will be seasons where the Word speaks to you and pours into you, but maybe not so emotional of a response to it. THAT IS OKAY. That is called a normal relationship.

So, okay. I get it… My time won’t always make me cry and feel “the feels”. But how do I decide what to read?

Pick a devotional or reading plan and finish it! I read the She Reads Truth app every single morning. Usually during Knox’s first nap around 9 AM. I literally write in my planner every single day “Quiet Time/Nap Time” for me to be certain I set time aside for me to spend with the Lord. We are busy people. It’s okay to write in your planner “Quiet Time” to remind you how important it is. I write out by the hour what I am doing in the day to make certain I spend my time well. Why wouldn’t I put in my set aside “Quiet Time”?

In addition to She Reads Truth, I have read through Savor by Shauna Niequist, which is a sweet daily devotional. I also love reading her books in general. They can act as a great tool to use in your quiet time, because her books are written as short stories for chapters. Reading that alongside a She Reads Truth devo every day is a great combo.

Apparently Lysa Terkeurst just released a devotional as well that I have on my must-buy list! I had no idea she had one out until last week when my friend got it for one of our girlies for her birthday gift. I have also read 100 Days to Brave by Annie Downs.

When you read scripture, read it through a couple of times. Slowly. Go slow. I know it’s easy to get into the habit of crossing off “Quiet Time” from your to-do list. It makes our time shallow and fast. Read word for word, and ask for God to make something stick out. Then, whatever sticks out, focus on it a bit and see how it applies to you. Why did it stick out? Then spend 5 minutes in silence praying and worshipping. Put away all distractions. Turn off everything (unless you like music!). Praise God for who He is, and then “by prayer and petition submit your requests to The Lord.” (Philippians 4:6)

Bottom line: Spend time with God. Talk to him all day long. Converse with Him. He wants to talk to you. And sometimes, you will be swept off your feet because God is a great romancer. He is the best friend you always wanted. He is relational and sweet.

How My Son Made Me Love My Body

August 31, 2018

Ladies, let’s chat. Cool?

Whether you are single, in college, engaged, newly married, married with a kid, a high schooler, or a single mom… I think it’s safe to say our bodies are a hot topic, regardless of what stage of life you’re in. I always thought when I was younger, “Oh, when I am “older” I won’t be so weird about my body anymore.” HA. Gosh, I wish. The reality of that thought is that your insecurities don’t disappear with age, they disappear with truth. So, let’s be honest with ourselves. I would venture to say it’s safe to bet that at some point every single one of us has struggled with our body image. I will be the first to raise her hand and say, “I sure have!”

My story? I was a dancer my whole life, and slowly felt the pressure of being “small enough.” Mind you… I was 5’1 and definitely never was overweight to begin with. It was all self-inflicted pressure. I lived my life with calorie counts and checking my side view for years until I withered away to basically nothing. Then, unlike I had hoped would happen as I got older, my insecurities didn’t disappear. They just followed me into college and marriage. It was my insecurities that absolutely subtly effected my perspective on becoming a mom for a long time. I definitely had a list of other fears ranging from no sleep, already hectic schedules, and figuring out how to keep my marriage priority with a kid. But, my greatest fears when it came to the idea of having kids was labor itself, and then the fear of my changing body.

I knew deep down all those other things could be figured out… but what would happen to me? That terrified me most. Funny enough, I was in the best health and shape of my life when I got pregnant. Mentally and physically, I was doing awesome. I had spent years figuring out what I could and couldn’t eat from allergies, and just spent over a year reversing -thanks to a crazy scientist doctor- years of misdiagnosis and doctors telling me “nothing is wrong” when I knew something was. Finally, I wasn’t sick all the time. Finally, I had answers for my fatigue. Finally, I felt like more than a shell of a human being walking around. And, above all, I was so secure in my own skin. And then… I got pregnant. HA. I had to accept my body was about to change drastically. Again. I was about to be exhausted… all the time again. I was about to be nauseous… all the time again. Different reasons this time around, but I was about to feel like crap again. It seemed silly to me. I worked so hard to get healthier, battling both mental and physical sickness, and then as soon as I was feeling great… I felt like it was time to become a mom. Funny how that happens.

But here’s the best part you guys. I realized through pregnancy just how much I love my body. God used my greatest fears to reveal my greatest joys. I found freedom in the midst of my biggest fear. What I thought would be my greatest road block in pregnancy became my favorite part!

Question: What is your biggest fear that, if you took bold steps into, COULD actually be the deliverance you’ve been needing?

Alright, so pregnancy went great. I felt awesome and I was proud of what my body and I just did for 9 months. *high five, body!* And then, my labor didn’t go at all as I had expected and I had to have an emergency c-section. I felt a little betrayed by my body that I had grown to love so much over the last 9 months. For the first time in my life, pregnancy made it feel like we were on the same page. It felt like we were working together… and then, I couldn’t deliver my son. I tried. I tried so hard, and nothing was working.

I thought my body had tricked me, stabbed me in the back. But then I realized it actually was my son’s saving grace. It knew better than I did to not progress or the baby inside of me that I loved so much would die. I have nothing but gratitude for my body. More than ever I can say, “I love this body!” I owe my son’s life to it in more ways than one. It grew my son, every ounce of weight gain and expanding hips, nausea and fatigue… It was all worth it. All I have to say to you, body, is thank you for bringing my best little friend into the world exactly how you knew it needed to be done. So sure, my body lays a little differently now. My tummy region is shaped differently, and no matter how hard we work at it, that bottom little pooch just won’t seem to disappear yet. My ribs legit look different now. They set outward and a little higher than before. But, I love you anyways, body. And, in fact, I vow to never speak ill of you ever again.

I wrote that to my body a couple of months after Knox was born. It’s taken me almost 9 months to talk about it. But, that’s where I am at. Thank GOD our bodies were designed by a creator to do more than we could have ever imagined.

Now, listen. Whether you’re pregnant, just had a baby, or having children is NO WHERE on your radar… It’s amazing how God can use situations we dread in order to show us freedom.

Jesus walked into a situation he absolutely dreaded by saying “yes” to death on a cross. Don’t believe me? He sweat blood he was so anxious and terrified for what was about to come while praying in the Garden of Gethsemane. He begged God to allow this cup to pass… He didn’t want to die a gruesome death. He DID however want you to experience freedom. So, He went. He carried the cross for you, for me, for every insecurity. Through death, freedom was found. Life for all of us came through a painful situation. Aren’t you so thankful Jesus went to the cross? Let Jesus’ example be what leads you into freedom from whatever it might be in your life. Maybe it’s body image, or maybe it’s a tight hold on things you cannot change. Whatever situation you are seeking freedom in, perhaps walking into the depths of what you fear most will reveal a freedom you didn’t even know was possible. Jesus will meet you in the darkness and shed light. You can’t see what parts of you need light, though, unless you do in fact go into the darkness to expose where shadows are dwelling. Perfect love casts out all fear, and darkness literally cannot exist where light is.

Find freedom, friends. I hope you know you’re beautiful. I hope you see there is freedom from whatever your insecurities might be. If you find yourself pinching, poking, and turning to the side to see if it’s a “skinny” day… please, go to the darkness with a torch in hand (psssst, that’s Jesus!) and expose what parts of you need truth.

You are beautiful.

You are made exactly how the Lord designed you.

You are irreplaceable.

You are knit and woven by God, The Creator.

You are special.

You are perfect as you are.

You are enough.

You are worthy.

xoxo, Han

This shoot with Knox is my favorite I have ever done with Hannah from Cottonwood Road Photography. I told her I just wanted something simple. My hair is its natural straight style, these jeans are 3 years old, and my top is from last winter. My nails aren’t painted, and my headboard has a button missing. There was something freeing in and of itself showing up just as I am for this shoot. Also, I mean, look at this kid. WOW. It hurts how much I love him.

A Desperate Surrender

August 23, 2018

Psalm 86

Man, have you guys ever been like, “God, a sign! Anything, I will take anything you’ve got, but please just help me understand!” In these words, more or less, I was talking with God the other morning. I was confused, a little frustrated, and just asking for some direction. I threw my hands up in surrender, and truly found myself for the first time in a few weeks willing to be hands off and watch God do His thing. I don’t really get why I do this to myself so much. I know without a doubt that when I finally stop trying to control and manipulate things in my life to be exactly how I envisioned them, God takes the reigns and makes it 1000 x’s better than I even imagined or hoped it could have been. See, we serve a God who allows us to make silly mistakes. He could absolutely force me to be hands off. But the coming back wouldn’t be so sweet as it is if God controlled us like robots. That’s why God is loving. He doesn’t force us, contrary to what religion can make us believe, to follow rules A-Z and walk around under the weight of laws and enforcement. He gives us options. He allows us to make mistakes so that we know His grace all the more. It’s confusing, serving an all-knowing and in control God… Yet we have freewill. It’s one of those conversations you could go around in circles for hours about over cups of coffee. I find freedom in these kinds of confusing aspects about God by saying, “I don’t understand this. I am not meant to fully understand. I am okay with that.”

Anyways, I think it’s funny that my controlling, perfectionist self always finds herself needing to pry back the fingers from a death grip to things on repeat. Finger by finger, white knuckled grip, I let go. It’s often painful, and it often includes me hitting a low point that makes me realize I am doing it again… “Oh crap, I am doing it again. I am not trusting God with this situation fully.” It is a blow every single time. But, a bigger blow to God every time. Can you imagine? Being God, and having to constantly see your kids thinking they can do it better than you- the whole God and in control thing? Ugh. I imagine it being like what it’s gonna feel like when I am parenting Knox as a teenager. Yet, I also feel like in ways having a hard time letting of go things is “the thorn in my side”, like the Apostle Paul mentions that always made him rely on God. It kept him from being prideful, because he was constantly reminded of how much he needed God. I seem to routinely have these “AHA!” moments (Often times in the shower… because isn’t that where everybody has their best moments?). They push me deeper in my faith, cause me to press in a little further to hearing God, and *the part I am the worst at* letting go of things I can’t control but like to take a whack at being in charge of. Geez, Hannah. You think I would learn. 😉

So here is my challenge for you today, friend. If you find yourself in a situation that you’re just saying, “God, what the heck? I have tried to fix this and it’s not working. Can you please step in?” Read Psalm 86! King David, a man who had everything and was under attack by people all the time, cried out to God regularly. This Psalm is such a desperate surrender. “Teach me your way, Lord, that I may rely on your faithfulness. Give me an undivided heart that I may fear your name.”(V. 11) “That I may rely on your faithfulness.” Or, that I may remember all the other times you showed up for me far better than I even knew to ask. *Oh how quickly we forget.* All those other times you proved yourself to be so good. Then, after pouring his heart out for 16 verses about how GOOD God is, David asks, “Give me a sign of your goodness so that my enemies can see it and be put to shame.” David is saying, “Look, I know you are good and I know you love me. But, I am begging you, show it to my enemies, too.” David is asking God to flex a little in his situation at hand, so that others would fear his God and see David is covered by the Lord. It’s okay to ask God for tangible evidence, for signs, that He is working in your situation. In fact, I encourage you to pray as though He is going to. Those big, bold, specific, crazy prayers are where God shows off the most.

Read Psalm 86 aloud today. Say it a few times. Remember you serve a God who is in control and cares for every tiny detail of your life. He cares you feel pressure from the outside, He cares that you are sad, He cares you are overwhelmed, and He cares when you’ve been hurt. He cares. Give him control. Let him show off in your life. That means stepping aside, letting go of the death grip, and seeing His dreams and heart for you unfold like a blooming flower. It’s going to be far more beautiful than you ever thought. His ways, His heart, His plans… They’re all better, greater, and higher.

Love you guys!

xoxo, Han

(Jumpsuit pictured, here *different color currently available*)

Scripture To Cultivate a Thankful Heart

August 7, 2018

Happy Tuesday, my friends! If you got my Sweet Thoughts devo this morning, then you know last week was an unwelcome series of events… to put it kindly. Big picture, beyond just this past week, this season of life has been one that more than ever I have needed to go to worship in trial to combat my tendency of freaking the flip out. I can quickly dig myself into the pits of “woe is me.” Anybody else dramatic and tend to think the whole world is against them? Just me? 😉 I will share more on this season in due time.

Did you know that Satan absolutely, 10000% has to flee at Jesus’ name? It’s true! The Bible says so! James 4:7 says, “Resist the devil and he will flee from you.” The way to resist the devil and his schemes is to run to Jesus and worship. If all of us began to worship when trials came rather than getting angry at our husbands or friends, or numbing ourselves with whatever it is that takes your mind off the present… my goodness. Things would look a lot different for us when we started to freak out, and I think our relationships would look a whole lot different, too.

Yesterday, I was on my way back from the gym. It was a good day, and I felt pretty freaking awesome. Hilarious how some days I feel like the world’s greatest mom while others I feel like my head is chopped off and I am the biggest failure EVER. But yesterday, dang I was nailing it. I had a great quiet time that morning, Knox napped right on schedule, I got in my workout & I was right on schedule for the day I mapped out in my planner, and Knox was feeling better after being sick for a few days. Things were going GREAT. Ugh, and then my Jeep started to overheat. I seriously was about ready to SCREAM. I was like, “Uhhh God, you’re kidding right? Like, on top of last week’s series of events… this is going to be added to the list?” I freaked for about 10 seconds, and then I COMMANDED my car to not overheat. I told it, in Jesus’ name, that this was not going to mess today up and we were NOT going to have a car that needed fixing. And, well would you believe it, the radiator gauge went back well under the halfway point. I commanded it twice, and then prayed for all green lights so that I wouldn’t have to stop (which is what would cause the car to heat). From that second on I. hit every. single. green. light. EVERY SINGLE ONE. It caused me to fall into worship. As silly as commanding my car to not overheat may sound, for me it was a reminder God cares that I feel overwhelmed. It was a reminder that if we have the faith as small as a mustard seed, then when we command the mountains to move they WILL. Praise God, right?

I was reminded yesterday that the greatest weapon we have against the enemy is WORSHIP. I am not saying that my car overheating was an act of satan. Who knows, maybe it was. But, he IS definitely lurking around to manipulate my response to crappy situations. He wants us to be angry rather than worship in times we feel overwhelmed. He wants YOU to be angry at God and run to your vices when things aren’t going as planned. Yet when I commanded my car to cool off, satan couldn’t stick around. My heart was bursting with joy that God is that present, and he had to flee. I kept singing, “I’ve seen you move, you moved the mountains. I believe I’ll see you do it again.” See, this tiny glimpse into how much God cares for me with my car reminded me that he is 10000% in the bigger things that I feel swallowed by right now. If I can see him move my radiator gauge TWICE and give me green lights, then certainly he is in the other things I keep laying down in prayer at his feet.

Gratitude in times of trial, thankfulness in moments we feel we are lacking. That, friends, is what we are created for. When we recognize the Lord is in every corner of everything we face, we can’t help but worship him. For all he has done and all that he is yet to do. A few months ago, I felt I was in a season I was called to just truly be audibly grateful. Of course, we are called to be thankful in every season, but this one particularly I felt I was supposed to say aloud what I was thankful for daily. So I would wake up every day and say, “Thank you God for this home, for my dog, for my healthy baby boy, and my husband.” I now have carried that act of obedience with me into a new season. It’s so basic. Those are four things I prayed hard for, and God responded faithfully to. As basic as this act of gratitude has been, it’s no doubt been shaping me for this new season where I have had what feels like daggers being thrown at me left and right. But because last season prepared me for this one, my freak outs are shorter and my perspective is more narrowed in on what matters. Things are chaotic, again I will get into that in due time, but my foundation is firm. Gratitude leads me to worship, and in worship the enemy has not even a pinkie toe in my path. He can’t.

Here are scripture for YOU to cultivate a heart of thankfulness. In Christ you lack no good thing, my friend. Believe it and walk forward in that truth.

“Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” 1 Thessalonians 5:18

“Satisfy us in the morning with your steadfast love, that we may rejoice and be glad all our days.” Psalm 90:14

“Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices; my body also will rest secure. Because you will not abandon me to the realm of the dead, nor will you let your faithful one see decay. You make known to me the path of life, you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand.” Psalm 16:9

“For God does not change his mind about whom he chooses and blesses.” Romans 11:29

“Yes, feast on all the treasures of the heavenly realm and fill your thoughts with heavenly realities, and not with the distractions of the natural realm.” Colossians 3:2

“Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good; his love endures forever.” 1 Chronicles 16:34

“And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.” Colossians 3:17

“For everything God created is good, and nothing is to be rejected if it is received with thanksgiving, because it is consecrated by the word of God and prayer.” 1 Timothy 4:4-5

“All this is for your benefit, so that the grace that is reaching more and more people may cause thanksgiving to overflow to the glory of God.” 2 Corinthians 4:15

“I will give thanks to you, LORD, with all my heart; I will tell of all your wonderful deeds.” Psalm 9:1

“Let us come before him with thanksgiving and extol him with music and song. For the LORD is the great God, the great King above all gods.” Psalm 95: 2-3

My whole outfit is from Landry Kate! This mini skirt is my favorite item in my closet right now. Actually, all three of these items (shoes, top, skirt) are my current faves. They’re all perfect for transitioning to fall! I have been wearing them since early July, and they will go clear into winter. I love me some versatile pieces.

My skirt: here | My Shoes: here |

My top is sold out right now (y’all nabbed it fast from my stories!!), but here is another flutter sleeve top I am obsessed with at the store!

My make-up is linked below! LISTEN, you CAN WEAR red lipstick. Wear it proud. I was at my lady doctor last week (LOL), and she wanted to see photos of Knox so I showed her a couple of these. Her response was, “RED LIPS! I wish I was able to wear a red lip.” And I said, “YOU CAN!!!” Be bold, rock a color on your lips. Once you do, you’ll never go back. 😉

All photos by my girl Cottonwood Road Photography

: Baby Shop

My Favorite Personality Tests

July 23, 2018

Okay, listen, personality tests were never even on my radar until I went to college where they were a huge deal. You had take the Myer’s Briggs as a freshman, and it helped place you in jobs on campus. I wasn’t so sure about the whole personality test thing, but now it’s a go-to conversation starter. I am obsessed with them. They are not only fun for yourself and discovering how and why you work the way you do, but it helps you understand friends and family better!

This week alone I have said “Oh no, my developer is coming out!” at least 3 times. (That’s one of my Strengths Finders characteristics. 😉

I cannot suggest enough taking one of these (or all!). It really is in a lot of ways like a mini counseling session the first time you take them, because it helps uncover why and how you do things. Then, if you really use it well, you can start sifting through situations and people in your life that have helped shape your views and personality. It’s fascinating!

Anyways, here are my top 3 favorite tests (though there are definitely a lot!)

Myer’s Briggs– The letters test. I am an INFJ, also known as The Advocate. We are known as the extroverted introverts. I need alone time -in fact, I will prefer it over anything unless I force myself out- and I definitely don’t LIKE to be the center of attention or having to entertain large crowds…But, I am really good at faking it haha. Absolutely everything I do, I need to know there is purpose or I want nothing to do with it. Thus, I am in ministry, a worship leader, and a writer. INFJ’s are also only 3% of the population. We are rare… 😉 But, funnily enough, we are often creatives and writers, and so a few of my friends happen to be INFJs. I guess we are attracted to one another. I am open about what I choose to be open about, but I am extremely private where I can be. (SO DANG TRUE!) This test is so accurate, it says in the “careers” portion that INFJ’s are often authors of blogs. Believe me yet that these things are ON POINT? I have taken this test probably 8-10 times over the last 8 years, and I have tested as INFJ-T every single time. (Long before I was a blogger!) Take the short version of the test, here. (FREE!!!!)

Enneagram- This one is newer to me, but I really love it! I am a 9, wing 3. You will see a theme between all of your personality tests if you take your time and are completely honest on them. (Don’t take it with what you like to be in mind for your answers, but answer what is your actual natural tendency!) The 9 is a peacemaker, and I can have a tendency of anxiety and playing “referee”… ugh. YES. It says 9’s are devoted to seeking internal peace as much as external. We like to see everything working right, and we can live in denial if we see things intruding on our peace for the sake of staying in peace. Like the Myers Briggs, it says we often start our own business that have purpose or we should be teachers/life coaches/counselors. At our best, we are fully alive and in deeply rooted relationships. At our worst, we can say “yes” to things we don’t like in order to “keep the peace.” This test is only $12 to take, and it’s truly amazing. I am newer to this one, but am diving deep into it. Take it here.

Strengths Finders- I LOVE THIS ONE. It’s kind of like identifying your DNA. Once you’ve identified your top 5, you can then figure out how they work together. It also is incredibly helpful in marriages and friendships. We use this one the most in our home to help understand one another. It’s helped us significantly. You can take a test for $20 that gives you your top 5. Or, you can take one for $50 that gives you ALL of yours, 1-34. My 1-5 are Empathy, Maximizer, Context, Activator, and Developer. When I got these I was like, “I always get the fluffy ones!” HAHA. Take it here.

Empathy leads me on pretty much everything. I feel people’s pain and I go to the depths with people whether I want to or not, because I don’t know how not to. Maximizer, I like seeing the positives in people and calling it out, and I like making the best of people and situations. Context, you better be able to tell me how something worked in the past before I believe it will work in the future. Context also would contribute to why I am so nostalgic and love looking back on things from my personal past. Activator… I am real impatient. If we say we are doing something, well dangit we better get going. Developer, I don’t like being bad at things… haha. I ignore things that could reveal I am bad at it, but I love being good at what I am good at. This means I hate trying new things. But, I love developing and making better what I like. I celebrate every little win.

I hope you take these and see how they can help you in your relationships as well as getting a deeper understanding of self. Lastly, I want to know what you are! Comment below!

Let’s chat about this jumpsuit! I am in love with this thing. I have a hard time with jumpsuits, because I am 5’1. But this one is *supposed to be* culotte fit, so on most it will fit a little higher on the ankle. But, for me it fit like a full length haha. Anyways, you can snag it here. It’s got a beautiful open back, and can be dressed up or down! Heels or cute sneakers would work with this.