The Cake by Hannah

A small town girl spreading kindness like buttercream frosting

How My Son Made Me Love My Body

Ladies, let’s chat. Cool?

Whether you are single, in college, engaged, newly married, married with a kid, a high schooler, or a single mom… I think it’s safe to say our bodies are a hot topic, regardless of what stage of life you’re in. I always thought when I was younger, “Oh, when I am “older” I won’t be so weird about my body anymore.” HA. Gosh, I wish. The reality of that thought is that your insecurities don’t disappear with age, they disappear with truth. So, let’s be honest with ourselves. I would venture to say it’s safe to bet that at some point every single one of us has struggled with our body image. I will be the first to raise her hand and say, “I sure have!”

My story? I was a dancer my whole life, and slowly felt the pressure of being “small enough.” Mind you… I was 5’1 and definitely never was overweight to begin with. It was all self-inflicted pressure. I lived my life with calorie counts and checking my side view for years until I withered away to basically nothing. Then, unlike I had hoped would happen as I got older, my insecurities didn’t disappear. They just followed me into college and marriage. It was my insecurities that absolutely subtly effected my perspective on becoming a mom for a long time. I definitely had a list of other fears ranging from no sleep, already hectic schedules, and figuring out how to keep my marriage priority with a kid. But, my greatest fears when it came to the idea of having kids was labor itself, and then the fear of my changing body.

I knew deep down all those other things could be figured out… but what would happen to me? That terrified me most. Funny enough, I was in the best health and shape of my life when I got pregnant. Mentally and physically, I was doing awesome. I had spent years figuring out what I could and couldn’t eat from allergies, and just spent over a year reversing -thanks to a crazy scientist doctor- years of misdiagnosis and doctors telling me “nothing is wrong” when I knew something was. Finally, I wasn’t sick all the time. Finally, I had answers for my fatigue. Finally, I felt like more than a shell of a human being walking around. And, above all, I was so secure in my own skin. And then… I got pregnant. HA. I had to accept my body was about to change drastically. Again. I was about to be exhausted… all the time again. I was about to be nauseous… all the time again. Different reasons this time around, but I was about to feel like crap again. It seemed silly to me. I worked so hard to get healthier, battling both mental and physical sickness, and then as soon as I was feeling great… I felt like it was time to become a mom. Funny how that happens.

But here’s the best part you guys. I realized through pregnancy just how much I love my body. God used my greatest fears to reveal my greatest joys. I found freedom in the midst of my biggest fear. What I thought would be my greatest road block in pregnancy became my favorite part!

Question: What is your biggest fear that, if you took bold steps into, COULD actually be the deliverance you’ve been needing? 

Alright, so pregnancy went great. I felt awesome and I was proud of what my body and I just did for 9 months. *high five, body!* And then, my labor didn’t go at all as I had expected and I had to have an emergency c-section. I felt a little betrayed by my body that I had grown to love so much over the last 9 months. For the first time in my life, pregnancy made it feel like we were on the same page. It felt like we were working together… and then, I couldn’t deliver my son. I tried. I tried so hard, and nothing was working.

I thought my body had tricked me, stabbed me in the back. But then I realized it actually was my son’s saving grace. It knew better than I did to not progress or the baby inside of me that I loved so much would die. I have nothing but gratitude for my body. More than ever I can say, “I love this body!” I owe my son’s life to it in more ways than one. It grew my son, every ounce of weight gain and expanding hips, nausea and fatigue… It was all worth it. All I have to say to you, body, is thank you for bringing my best little friend into the world exactly how you knew it needed to be done. So sure, my body lays a little differently now. My tummy region is shaped differently, and no matter how hard we work at it, that bottom little pooch just won’t seem to disappear yet. My ribs legit look different now. They set outward and a little higher than before. But, I love you anyways, body. And, in fact, I vow to never speak ill of you ever again. 

I wrote that to my body a couple of months after Knox was born. It’s taken me almost 9 months to talk about it. But, that’s where I am at. Thank GOD our bodies were designed by a creator to do more than we could have ever imagined.

Now, listen. Whether you’re pregnant, just had a baby, or having children is NO WHERE on your radar… It’s amazing how God can use situations we dread in order to show us freedom.

Jesus walked into a situation he absolutely dreaded by saying “yes” to death on a cross. Don’t believe me? He sweat blood he was so anxious and terrified for what was about to come while praying in the Garden of Gethsemane. He begged God to allow this cup to pass… He didn’t want to die a gruesome death. He DID however want you to experience freedom. So, He went. He carried the cross for you, for me, for every insecurity. Through death, freedom was found. Life for all of us came through a painful situation. Aren’t you so thankful Jesus went to the cross? Let Jesus’ example be what leads you into freedom from whatever it might be in your life. Maybe it’s body image, or maybe it’s a tight hold on things you cannot change. Whatever situation you are seeking freedom in, perhaps walking into the depths of what you fear most will reveal a freedom you didn’t even know was possible. Jesus will meet you in the darkness and shed light. You can’t see what parts of you need light, though, unless you do in fact go into the darkness to expose where shadows are dwelling. Perfect love casts out all fear, and darkness literally cannot exist where light is.

Find freedom, friends. I hope you know you’re beautiful. I hope you see there is freedom from whatever your insecurities might be. If you find yourself pinching, poking, and turning to the side to see if it’s a “skinny” day… please, go to the darkness with a torch in hand (psssst, that’s Jesus!) and expose what parts of you need truth.

You are beautiful.

You are made exactly how the Lord designed you.

You are irreplaceable.

You are knit and woven by God, The Creator.

You are special.

You are perfect as you are.

You are enough.

You are worthy.

xoxo, Han

This shoot with Knox is my favorite I have ever done with Hannah from Cottonwood Road Photography. I told her I just wanted something simple. My hair is its natural straight style, these jeans are 3 years old, and my top is from last winter. My nails aren’t painted, and my headboard has a button missing. There was something freeing in and of itself showing up just as I am for this shoot. Also, I mean, look at this kid. WOW. It hurts how much I love him.

The Ultimate Costco Haul

Okay, okay. Let’s chat about Costco. We go every single week for our weekly restocks, and I get asked by friends and family all the time, “Is it really worth the membership?” Or, “When I go I just don’t know what to get, and it’s overwhelming.” And, “Do you get everything from there? I feel like it’s more expensive to buy from there!”

Y’all, we. love. Costco. WE DO. So much so that until the new one in our town FINALLY opened (we’d heard of talk about one coming since we first moved here… it’s been 3 years… and it just opened last month lol), we have been driving 30 minutes to one to keep shopping at Costco. Not Sam’s. DEAR GOD, not SAM’S. Costco. It’s 3000 x’s better. Better customer service, better products, and just better overall. Just better. There’s a reason Sam’s are going out of business while Costco is taking over the world.

Dramatic? Maybe. But true. Very, very true. 

Oooo girl! Did you say Costco?!

Okay, so here’s the answer to the questions:

  1. Is it worth it? YES. We pay $60 a year for a membership. We each have a card. You can pay $125 a year for the Gold Membership, which gives you money back after a certain amount spent. But, since we don’t do ALL our groceries here (we will get to that), we don’t do that membership. It’s just not worth it. We tried it last year, and decided not to this year.

Okay, so why is it worth it? We buy the cheapest produce on the planet to get us through each week, our bulk chicken, wine, diapers once a month, and household items once a month. YES, we buy diapers once a month. 

2. Go in to purchase knowing exactly what you need for your family. You can definitely go in and way overspend on stuff                   you don’t actually need, so you have to go in with will-power on a budget.

TIP: Give yourself an initial trip where you’re not buying anything, but instead go in with the intent of studying each section to see what they have. (It really doesn’t change often.) Write it all down, then go home and meal plan for the week, or the month if you’re a super overachiever. You don’t need to buy the box of chips for the next 2 weeks of lunches if you’re buying the pretzles. You know what I mean? If you buy both… something is going to go stale. Go in with intentions and a plan.

If you have kiddos, the snacks section up front is the ultimate lunch box section. We are talking Lara Bars for cheap, Cliff Bars (and Kid’s Cliff Bars), nuts, Annie’s Crackers, Chips… Your kids will have a lunchbox they won’t want to make “tradesies” with. 

3. Do we get everything from here? No. Like I said, we meal plan and buy accordingly. Perishable items that we just can’t finish the two of us before they go bad, we get from our grocery store. Salmon and a few other specific meats we like to get each week (like the Apple Cider Pork Chops at Market Street OMG- $5 for two massive ones!!!), we get at our local grocery store. Costco also doesn’t have Sweet Potatoes, which is about 80% of our meals, so we get those elsewhere. We also get boxes of pasta and brown rice from the local grocery store, mostly because we just don’t have the storage space for them and we don’t need to spend $20 up front on pasta to last us the next 4 months. Even though it’s cheaper longterm… it’s just not necessary. Know what I mean? I also buy ONE Protien Bars for each week as an afternoon snack M-F. My local grocery store always has them for 2 for $4, so it’s about $10 each week for an afternoon snack.

So, what do we get at our weekly trips?

  1. Bulk Chicken: ~$25 for 6 packs = on avg. 4 dinners/ week (we eat chicken a lot…) + 2 meal prepped lunches of chicken for ~$4.15) HEYOOOO
  2. Bulk Container of Spinach: We eat spinach like it’s going out of style. Cooked, uncooked… It doesn’t matter. We keep dressing on hand at all times. Majority of my lunches are a piece of chicken on a bed of spinach with dressing, and some fruit or nuts.
  3. Bag of Avocados: We get a whole bag of avocados for $5 each week.
  4. Raspberries/Strawberries: SO CHEAP. A container twice the size you’d get at the regular grocery store of raspberries for $4, and I can’t remember how much our strawberries were yesterday, but they were stupid cheap. I eat those at night with some whipped cream, or on my spinach salads. YUM.
  5. Big bag of brussel sprouts
  6. Bag of asparagus
  7. Laundry Detergent (Once a month!): We buy our laundry detergent here for $14/month. Sometimes we go through more a month, but on average it’s one a month.
  8. Toilet Paper and Paper Towels (Once a month!)
  9. Diapers (Once a month!)
  10. Kirkland’s Red Wine (This thing is MASSIVE and $6!!)
  11. Eggs
  12. Sambazon Acai Chocolate Covered Bites (bi-monthly): OH MY GOSH. For the love of all things, these are the best Costco find I have ever made. 50 calories a piece… I eat 3 almost every single night.
  13. Nut Clusters
  14. Bob’s Red Mill Steel Cut Oats (Once a month- Paul eats this every single morning, and it lasts FOREVER!)
  15. Three pack of Kirkland’s Peanut Butter (Once a month)
  16. Cooking Oil (Once a month, AVG): 2 pack Avacodo Oil
  17. Coconut Oil Jar (Once every few months): This thing is HUGE
  18. Almond Milk (Once a month): 3 pack
  19. Bulk pack of canned corn and green beans (Maybe once a month, sometimes longer!)
  20. Ground Turkey: Usually a twice a month purchase

Occasionally, we buy other things! We will buy Cheerios usually once a month (3 pack), and sometimes random buys for the home like light bulbs, etc. We are creatures of habit, though, and we eat the same things just about every single day.

Average Day of Meals:

  1. 2 eggs, handful of raspberries/strawberries or banana slices
  2. Chicken (meal prepped for the week), spinach salad, nut clusters
  3. 2 PM ONE Bar + Cup of coffee pick me up during Knox’s afternoon nap
  4. A meat (likely chicken or pork), a veggie, a starch (brown rice/pasta/sweet potato of sorts)
  5. A sweet treat (Acai bites/Fruit and Whip Cream/Halo Top/The occasional Blue Bell… 😉

If you are new around here or just can’t tell… I am very routine… haha. It has it’s pros and cons. But, it makes meal prepping each week pretty easy! Paul and I also both have food allergies and restrictions, so our meals we can both eat where I am not having to cook two different meals for us are limited. That is also why we eat pretty much the same things every day/each week, or at least use the same items. You can do a lot with these items though! We do “Chiptole Bowls”, “Pei Wei” Stir Fry (Trader Joe’s has a GREAT pre-cut fresh veggie stir fry for cheap cheap), HG Sply Co. Sweet Potato Bowls, Tacos, Pork chops + baked potoato, Variety of pastas… we eat good on our budget!

Grand total: Our budget right now is $125/week for groceries. It can be done!

ALSO, Costco now does home delivery… so. There you go. WINNER.

So, in conclusion… yes. Yes, Costco is worth the membership. 

Knox’s 8 Month Update

Wow, you guys. Eight months. It has been eight months since Knox Chandler made his [very dramatic] entrance into the world! I honestly can’t believe it. I sorta… ok definitely… started planning Knox’s 1st birthday already. I am just so excited! God gave me a baby at Christmas, and I live for Christmas. It was only a matter of time before I got the itch to start planning.

IN SHORT: I LOVED MONTH SEVEN!

I feel like Knox is more of an actual little boy every single day. It makes me ache a little, but I also am obsessed with the boy he is growing into. I think I say this every update… But he really is the happiest baby on the planet. He is always smiling, always laughing, and always playing. He is incredibly independent, and loves to hang out in his nursery and study his toys. For real, he studies them. He checks out the back of them to see how they work, and he loves anything musical. I am calling it- he will be a singer or musician.

It’s such a rare occasion that he’s grumpy, and it’s usually because he is tired/hungry/or teething.

Ugh, teething. THE FREAKING WORST.

Month seven really was all about standing in our Joovy, learning to walk alongside things like the couch or table, and eating more solid foods. This kid is fast, and can absolutely get anywhere he wants to be in the house. I am having to close doors constantly, and am on Amazon searching for all the “baby proofing” items. He likes to pull away from the couch or if he is holding our hand to try to stand by himself. He can hold a sturdy stand for a couple seconds before he plops over. I think by my 10 month update, we will absolutely have a walker on our hands.

We are a hit or miss still if we feel like eating “big boy food”, but when we are feeling it, we love provolone and cheddar cheese, and raspberries! I still give Knox a bottle for every feeding every 3 hours, but am offering food on his chair with it. He usually drinks the whole bottle and then plays with his food, occasionally putting something in his mouth, but it’s progress!

Knox is taking 2 solid 2 hour naps in the morning and afternoon still. PRAISE DA LAWD. Those are my hustle hours I get to work. He goes down at 7 PM and sleeps through the night usually until 7 AM. Month seven, we had about a week of him consistently waking up a couple times throughout the night due to teething. For about two and a half weeks, Knox had flu-like symptoms from teething. It was awful and I just wanted to hold him all day. He still hasn’t even fully cut his first tooth, so I am bracing myself for what is to come. He has had a clogged tear duct in one eye since birth, and it hasn’t completely fixed itself yet. So when he gets sick, that eye is significantly worse and the issues are heightened. His poor eye got so bad, I literally would have to use a warm washcloth for his eye to open in the mornings. It was awful. But Boogie Wipes are THE BOMB. Before I got them, his eye and under his nose was chapped from the wipes I was using. These Boogie Wipes, though, are so gentle and made for wiping boogies away specifically. It made a massive difference for us!

As Knox is becoming more and more a boy, not just a baby, I find myself praying even more for who he will be. I see his personality shine more every single day. I love him so much. Gosh, it makes my tummy ache. Like actually hurt a little from how much I love him. I was reading Ephesians 6 a couple weeks ago, and it hit me differently than it has before. I have read through the armor of God plenty of times, but this time verse 10 stuck out to me. “Be strong in the Lord in HIS mighty power.” As I raise a young man in today’s world, I pray I raise a strong, bold, courageous boy who knows all his strength is from and through the power of God. I pray humility to recognize where his strength comes from. I want my kid to know he is strong and can do anything he puts his mind to, but above all else that he is capable through Christ who gives him strength. I love the picture Ephesians 6 gives me of raising up a child. I will equip him with the belt of truth, the breastplate of righteousness, feet fit and ready to spread the good news, a shield of faith to deflect the schemes of the enemy, a helmet of salvation, and the sword of truth. I imagine my son gearing up every day for battle as he grows older, knowing he was placed on this planet with purpose. I pray he knows that from as early as possible. He has purpose, he is loved, and he gets to play part in the most amazing love story and epic battle against evil that will ever be written.

Moms and dads, you’re doing incredible. I pray you feel confident in your role more than ever before. You get to raise a kid to be kind, loving, strong, courageous, and bold. Take that role on with such ferocity.

xoxo, Han

Baby Jogger City Luxe vs City Mini

Hey friends! I am so excited about today’s post, because I feel it can really help you moms and mommies to be with the massive decision of which stroller to invest in. First of all, I am 1000% Baby Jogger all the way. So, I am comparing two strollers BY Baby Jogger. I test drove and read reviews for every single brand of stroller there is on the market. Baby Jogger continuously hit the mark and had the best reviews all in all. I felt so confident with our *HEFTY* purchase, and I don’t regret it one bit. Zero buyer’s remorse over here, folks!

Today’s comparison is between the City Luxe, which is what I have, and the smaller City Mini. A lot of it will come down to price and your personal lifestyle. I have a bestie who went with the Mini, so next to my own experiences with the City Mini as I was testing strollers, the pros and cons list for that one will heavily come from her personal use and opinions. (Thanks Mikayla! xoxoxo)

The City Luxe

This is the stroller I have! It feels sort of like the G Wagon of strollers. I mean, seriously. The price shows it, but it was worth every penny IMO. Why did I go with it?

Firstly, the size. Though this is a con in the same degree (I will get to that later), the catch all below is amazing. In fact, while choosing my stroller I considered grocery shopping. This is a main reason I went with this one! I don’t have to take the carseat in and put it in the cart. Instead, I actually just go grocery shopping and put my groceries in the catch all below. It made shopping with Knox one less step of carrying in the car seat and getting him situated in a cart that now has zero space for me to put groceries in. Now that Knox is big enough to sit in the actual seat (we no longer attach the car seat to the adaptors on top of the frame), it is SO EASY to go anywhere and do any shopping.

The add-ons: The City Luxe is THE stroller to have if you plan to have any more kids. We are future thinkers, and this fit the bill. The City Luxe has the ability to add on seats, benches, and bassinets. Meaning, When Knox is, say, 3… and I have a newborn… (hypothetically speaking haha!), then I don’t have to buy a new stroller. Rather, I simply add a bassinet to the frame and the seat attaches at the front. It’s AMAZING. So, though we spent $600+ on this stroller, we will only have to buy an add-on seat down the road. More now, less later was our mindset.

The Durability: I am really impressed with how sturdy this carseat and stroller are. We have travelled with it on road trips multiple times now, and it went to Georgia with us by plane. I am very impressed! The warranty is also fantastic.

CONS

Clearly the pros of this stroller outweighed the cons, but there are a few worth mentioning. It IS big. This works great for us, because we live in a home and don’t need to worry about being in tighter places. However, when I have been shopping at the mall with Knox or tried to navigate more narrow spaces, it’s been near impossible. But, since majority of shopping that I do is Target or wide aisles at the grocery store, it really hasn’t been horrible for me.

You have to buy any extra necessities. Ex: cup holders for the handle bars, a tray for the front when baby sits up and can eat, etc. These are all extra. They are cheaper than I expected ($20 on average for things, give or take), but when adding that to your $600 stroller/seat + $300 carseat… every little things adds up.

It’s heavy. My mom mentions it every time she pulls it out of the car, and she says she needs to buy herself a “grandma stroller.” It is no doubt heavier, but even still, it’s very easy to fold up and steer. It’s light as a feather once you’re maneuvering it.

The City Mini

This one is petite and sweet. And, hundreds less than the City Luxe. This one is no doubt a better option for people who live in the city or apartments, and have only one kid. It takes up way less space in your closet, and it is significantly more narrow for elevators, tight squeezes, mall shopping, etc. It doesn’t have the ability to add on future babies, though. If I had the money, I would have bought both the Luxe and Mini to be honest. I would love to have the mini on hand for when I am going places I know I will want to be able to maneuver in and out of spaces easier. It’d be easier to travel with, too. But, again, it doesn’t have the capabilities the City Luxe does. But, come on, that cognac brown leather on the Anniversary Edition makes me drool.

It is GREAT for running with baby, because it’s a great cross between a jogger and a true stroller with the sleek narrow build & three wheels. Mikayla says “It’s so freaking functional!” It easily weaves in and out of stuff, and is sturdy on gravel because of the wheels. It’s very easy to fold and pack!

CONS

Can’t be added onto, and -like the Luxe- doesn’t come with add-ons like cupholders for mom or trays for baby.

Mikayla ended up buying a different carseat brand, because she felt it actually worked better with the stroller than the actual Baby Jogger CityGo. I didn’t have this experience with City Luxe, but it’s definitely worth looking into if you are going with the Mini!

All in all, if you want a Baby Jogger, either of these are honestly amazing options. It truly depends on you. We are two very happy first time mamas with the perfect Baby Jogger stroller for each of our personal lifestyles. The Luxe made sense for Paul and me with our neighborhood and home. I also am not a runner! I didn’t need that piece of the puzzle for my stroller choice like Mikayla did. She lives in the city and in an apartment, so the mini was perfect for her! The Mini is so cute, and IMO a little more sleek looking, too! So, again, it’s all down to preference or if you want to think ahead for more babies.

Below I have both strollers linked, the CityGo carseat, the CityGo Adaptors needed for the carseat to the frame until baby can sit up in the stroller (around 5-6 months), the adaptors for a second seat, and a couple add ons I have or will get (with a second baby- which isn’t anywhere near happening FYI lol).

Absolute MUST-HAVES from the N Sale!

You guys… TOMORROW is when the N Sale goes P U B L I C like a relationship going FBO. I am so excited! I have been waiting two weeks to finally get a few items, and they are mostly shoes for the fam and some workout shorts- I mean, check out those rose gold Nike Tempos… omg. Knox is finally big enough to wear some little Nikes and I think they’re just a MUST.

Below are my TOP favorites (that are still in stock). I will keep a close eye for any restocks. 

 

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