Happy Mommy Monday, y’all! Today, I am sharing our most up to date schedule for Knox. This, of course, can vary a bit from day to day depending on my work schedule, but for the most part this is what we stick to!

A Schedule for 1.5-2 Year Old

 7-730 Wake up, Breakfast at the table

7:30-8 Play in room 

8-830AM- Get ready for gym/errands/etc. 

9-11- Out for gym/errands *Snack on the go*

1130- Lunch

12-1- Independent play in playroom

1-230/3- Nap time

3-4- Snack time, Episode of favorite show/movie/books

4-5- Independent play, wait for dad to get home, play with daddy

5- Dinner time, Play time

6- Family Time in living room/bed room

7- Bed time, read and prayers with Daddy

Love you guys!!! Keep being awesome mothers to your babies, and remember nobody knows better than YOU what your child needs. So proud of all you mamas out there.

Happy Mommy Monday! When I have done Q & A or asked what topics you’d like to hear on, there have been multiple replies asking in some way or another about how we create and set “values.” So, to the best of my ability as a first time mom, I wanted to share what we are doing to HOPEFULLY set standards, home culture, and values for Knox. I obviously am a first time mom with an 18 month old, so everything we are doing is with the hopes of instilling in Knox characteristics we want him to have. We clearly aren’t experts nor are we able to speak from experience with a grown, well-mannered child. But, I can speak to where we are at and what is working for us!

Train up a child in the way he should grow. Proverbs 22:6

Growing up, my mom had these cassette tapes I listened to at night called the Fumbly Bumbly Angels. It was all about an angel learning life lessons, and one of the songs I can STILL SING from those tapes is this one: “Train up a child in the way he should grow. Train up a child in the way he should grow. And even when he is old, when he is old, he will not depaaaaart from it!” Aw, how sweet. But… now as a mom myself, and if you are a parent reading this then I am sure you can connect with me when I say, “HOW THE HECK DO I DO THAT?!” How do I train up a child in the way he should grow, meaning with faith in Jesus and thus living a life pleasing to God? And, let’s be real, being a generally great and successful human would be nice, too. I would take that. HA. It seems overwhelming if you look at the big picture. When I was getting closer to my due date with Knox, I found myself freaking out about the simple things like “Wait, I am supposed to teach this kid how to walk and talk?!” And people assured me that it just happens by talking to them and walking around them. Turns out, they were right. I also found myself worrying at all hours of the night about how the heck you teach a child to value the right things, be kind, love God, love the church, love their parents, scratch my back and play with my hair… Ok, the last two are just fluff… but I mean, it would be nice. And again, people just assured me that if we display in the home and to others the things we wish for our child to know and love, it will happen. You just do it in front of them and they pick it up. Actually, more so, they soak it up like a thirsty sponge on hot concrete. Kids blow my mind. It fascinates me on the daily what my kid picks up on and starts doing just from seeing us do it. Currently, Knox is really into squats and planks because he watches me do my home workouts when I can’t make it to the gym. So now, I just invite him to do my workouts with me. Y’all, he is 18 months! It’s crazy how quickly they learn to love what you love.

So, if it’s true that we train up a child in the way he should grow by simply showing them by our own actions… Teaching our child to love God, love others, and be a kind human starts with US. Yep. You. If you want to raise a gentleman, marry a man who treats you like a queen and shows his son by action how to treat and speak to a woman. Want to raise a kind daughter? You better watch your tongue and be kind to other women. You better tame that fire when you want to gossip or say a slight comment about another woman when they walk away in front of your daughter. It starts with Y O U. It starts with YOUR HEART.

You want your child to read their Bible and love church? Then you yourself need to display opening your Bible first thing every single day. Create quiet time with your child! Let them see you open books and value “you time.” Let them see you kiss your spouse and make them wait while you talk. Let them see you speak life into others, host people at your home, serve others, pray both by yourself and with one another. Your child will pick up on it. They will replicate it, because you are their hero from day 1. They want to do what you do. So, what are you modeling for them?

You want them to eat healthy and make smart choices? Model that.

You want them to exercise and value their body? Model that.

You want them to be respectful to adults? Model that.

One thing I took from a few friends who I respected and saw their children doing things I wanted to see my own child excel in or do was speaking to my child as though they already understand (i.e. not like a baby) and allowing them to watch me do pretty much everything. (And then try it for themselves!) Paul and I welcome Knox into just about any and everything we do so that he can pick up on what we do, how we do it, and *hopefully* he picks up our habits. And, thank God there is grace and we pray he doesn’t pick up any bad habits he might see us do. Because, yep, we are all imperfect and we will do things we hope to God our child doesn’t replicate.

Say sorry when you goof.

Tell your child why something you did wasn’t “model behavior”, and use it as a teaching moment. YES, even at 18 months. I hold Knox’s face and ask him to please forgive me if I am irritated or being short. I will never be above asking my child for forgiveness when forgiveness needs asking.

Friend, it starts with you. The deeper you dive into a relationship with God, your child will follow. The more you serve others and open your heart and home, your child will do the same.

We can complicate stuff so much and think we need a “How To Guide” for raising kind humans, when in reality… We raise kind humans by being kind ourselves. We drop bitterness or cattiness or jealousy, and we grow confident in who we are because of who Christ is in us. And in doing so, you grow in your abilities to be the best parent you can to your child. You can do this! Nobody is a better mom or dad to your child that God designed you to be mommy or daddy to than YOU.

If you’re a current mom, then you were definitely at one point a first time “mother to be.” That first time around you get slews of both requested and unsolicited advice, and can quite honestly feel like you are stuck on a roller coaster inching to the top of the highest point before the drop wishing you had never sat on the seat you currently find yourself strapped into. All the information noise that surrounds you in this crazy season can be downright overwhelming and terrifying. Sound familiar?

Phew. Thank God you only have to be a first time mommy once, am I right? 😉

When friends of mine ask me, or even when some of you DM me asking, first time mommy advice, I have learned what ACTUALLY matters to share. I can suggest brands and must have baby items. Sure. But here are my three pieces of advice I give mommies to-be that actually matter.

1. Find good mommy friends! Yep, my #1 thing… find friends who are in it with you. People you can text at 11 PM asking if it’s normal that your baby is *insert crazy thing that happens with newborns that you think means your baby must be messed up.* Community is everything, and it’s truly going to impact the way you parent the most- above all else. Above what brand of bottles you buy, what swing you register for, what crib you get, what fancy stroller you spend oodles of money on… Community. It’s the thing you need most.
2. I swear by a schedule. I know, it’s a method. And… it’s one not everybody gets behind. And, not every baby is the same. AND yours might not take to it. I get it, I get it. But try. For your own sleep and sanity, try. You’ll experience hell for about a week of trying to keep baby awake during certain “day hours” to teach them when we sleep and when we are awake… but do it. I am a better human when I am in a routine, and so is my child.
3. Breastfeeding just might not be what’s best for you and your baby. GASP. I know, hate on me. But when I see #breastisbest it actually makes me want to vomit (and makes me furious), because it’s belittling an entire force of bad-a, rockstar moms who had to make a decision that was best for her, her baby, and to be an overall better mom. Breastfeeding might not be best for your sanity. It might send you into postpartum depression, making the whole actual MOTHERING thing near impossible. Your milk might, for one reason or another, not be fatty enough to help your kid grow (AYO! That’s what my situation was!). There are so many reasons why choosing solely pumping or full-on formula just might be a better situation for you and your baby. You are a better mother when you make wise choices for BOTH of you. What works for you and allows you to be fully present with your child? If that’s breastfeeding, do it! It’s amazing. But if it’s not, you’re still an AMAZING MOMMY. Thank God for science that allows us to have access to things for our children that work and help them grow- boob or no boob. Motherhood is a whole lot of sacrifice, that’s for sure. Everything you do is going to require a lot of life changes. However, I truly believe the more you keep the mentality “I am adding a baby into my life” rather than “My entire life will never be the same because it revolves around my baby”, the healthier you are mentally and physically. If that means not breastfeeding, then don’t do it.

My last encouragement is to you seasoned moms: ENCOURAGE THE MESS OUT OF EVERY MOMMY TO BE YOU FIND. Encourage and honor! I just wish everybody would stop having opinions about what other moms are doing to parent their own children as best they can. We are all trying our damn best (am I allowed to say that?… I just did). And, we all love our kids more than anything in this world.

Proverbs 18:21 says, “Words kill, words give life; they’re either poison or fruit—you choose.” 

Can we make a pact to just honor other moms and their decisions? When we honor somebody, speaking life into them and their strengths, it actually pulls out even more of their best self! Speak life, and bite your tongue (because really, hateful words are just pride) if it doesn’t.

I love giving suggestions and encouraging mommies… like, hello, I am a blogger. I love creating a space for people to share and learn from one another, and I love sharing what’s worked for me. But guess what? It’s okay that we all do stuff differently. You live your truth and convictions while someone else will pursue their own. Bottom line, I can’t say enough to follow your gut. You really will figure out what’s best for you and your baby. You are equipped to be that baby’s mom in a way only you can!

I love y’all so much, mama community! So grateful for you and #mommymondays.

x0x0,

Han