Marriage

Happy Valentine’s Day! (+ My favorite Rom Coms)

February 14, 2019

Happy Valentine’s Day, y’all! I love today, and it’s not just because of all the pink and roses. Or, because this time 5 years ago I was bouncing around with all my best friends in my first loft getting ready for my rehearsal dinner. 😉 Yep, I got married the day after Valentine’s Day. (Actually not even on purpose!! We moved our original wedding date up a month and it happened to be V-Day so we just went with it.) I love finding any reason to celebrate and feel good, and today has every opportunity for that. I sincerely hope that no matter what, you feel loved today regardless of “relationship status.” My favorite author, Shauna Niequist, said, “You are significant, with or without a significant other.” I think that says it so beautifully!

So every year we usually go out both nights, V Day and our anniversary. But this year we are doing a dinner tonight and a date night IN tomorrow night watching our favorite rom coms and making a fancy meal. We are going out of town next week for an anni trip to Angel Fire (!!!!), so I asked to do something simple on our actual anniversary. One of my favorite anniversaries we have ever had, no joke, was when Paul had to work that night, so I built us a blanket fort full of his favorite candy and foods and laid out all his favorite movies. I draped twinkle lights everywhere and it really felt so magical and child-like. Picture… the fort from The Holiday. If you know, you know! When he came home we had a slumber party and it was so much fun!

I thought it’d be fun to round-up all my favorite rom coms for you if you’re doing a date night in, too! I am a sucker for pretty much anything sweet, but these are my TOP favorite, go-to, seen them a thousand times movies.

Hannah (and Paul’s) Favorite Rom Coms for a Date Night In:

You’ve Got Mail

How to Lose A Guy in Ten Days

Ten Things I Hate About You

Sweet Home Alabama

The Proposal

She’s The Man

PS I Love You

To All The Boys I’ve Loved

Sleepless in Seattle

Pretty Woman

Our anniversary shoot for today’s post features my February Dress of the Month and I AM OBSESSED. It was also freezing with a wind chill of 23 degrees the day I shot these pics with Hannah from Cottonwood Road Photography… soooooo, I feel like I look cold in all of them even when I am trying not to look cold. L O L.

Managing Expectations: Valentine’s Day

February 7, 2019

Okay okay, so I think I have made it pretty clear… I friggn’ love Valentine’s Day. I love pink and red, I love chocolate, I love flowers, I love love, I love cute romantic music (like, here, on my Valentine’s Day playlist!), I love celebrating love, I love showing love to my closest friends, I love decorating for Valentine’s Day…

I mean, for real. I love it all.

I am not a fool, though, and I know Valentine’s Day is hard for some. I have been there. I know what it’s like to hate Valentine’s Day. Maybe it’s your first one since a hard break-up. The first since somebody close to you passed away. Another year that you turned down a date because it didn’t “feel right.” Another year you’re dating somebody just for the heck of it, because on paper it looks good, but you just can’t find the real feelings for them regardless of all the reasons you’ve come up with that you SHOULD be madly in love with them. (That one is so freaking real for my story. And, take it from me, that was more painful than it was fun.) The first year you don’t have a date. Whatever it may be, I know it can feel like a spotlight is on your life every year when February 14th comes around, reminding you your life perhaps doesn’t look like you wanted it to or thought it would.

I had year after year of Valentine’s Days where I had dreamed up this spectacular, surprise Valentine sweeping me off my feet, bringing flowers to school for me, leaving me a surprise on the hood of my car only to come out of nowhere serenading me to my favorite love song… It’s fine, I am not a hopeless romantic at all… And year after year I was disappointed, because my expectations didn’t match the reality of my day. Either things fell flat or the person I wanted to show me affection totally didn’t return it. But had I come into the day with gratitude for the love I had in my life, which was an immense amount, I wouldn’t have found myself feeling lonely or less-than by the end of another February 14th solely because something spectacularly romantic didn’t happen to me that I had dreamed up in my head. You feel me?

But, here’s the funniest part of it all. Y’all, I have had the hopeless romantic, movie scene things happen to me and they all, despite meeting every fantasy daydream of mine, didn’t satisfy. I am not kidding you, a boy once wrote a song for me and played it on a piano at school after math class for me. I didn’t even realize in the moment what was happening- I for real thought it was a friend sharing a song with me that he had written… but not for me. And what should have ended with a huge smooch in my movie scene moment actually left me feeling “bleh” and a little guilty that I didn’t feel fireworks for this incredibly kind guy and his romantic gesture. Another year, a guy made a mum for homecoming for me with his mom, and I ignored his phone calls because I was scared he was in fact making me a mum and I didn’t want to deal with telling him I wasn’t into him like that… I woke up to a beautiful massive mum on my porch that morning that I later found out he left at 4 AM for me. Ugh, I was the worst. I wish I could go back to 16 year old Hannah and handle a whole bunch of things differently. But, alas, we can’t do that. But, no joke, I think about these things from time to time and want to vomit at myself a little. O_o Another year on Valentine’s Day, a boy bought me candy and a stuffed animal, and he wrote me a letter about why he thought I was great. And, once again, I was appreciative… but nothing. No sparks. Again, I left just feeling guilty.

Now flip it, while dating my now husband, our first Valentine’s Day was a joke. It ended in tears and a huge fight. Then, the next day I showed up to roses on my desk at work… but they weren’t from Paul. And, our fight escalated exponentially… as you can imagine. Y’all, you can’t make these things up. And once again, Valentine’s Day wasn’t this grand event and I felt disappointed. And again, that was with my NOW HUSBAND. Even the guy I was going to end up with left me feeling disappointed on Valentine’s Day when we were just 3 months into dating when it’s supposed to be magical and overly romantic… right?

So my point?? No matter what comes your way, Valentine’s Day could be disappointing or, perhaps, surprising to say the least. Or, it can really be the best day ever. But what changes that outcome? Your attitude and perspective. Not the perfect date or perfect boyfriend or romantic gesture from your spouse. I want to challenge you as this holiday approaches. No matter what your “relationship status” may be, I hope you set some expectations, but that they are expectations for yourself- not ones you put on others. Expect to enter into the day with gratitude and to bless the mess out of everyone you love. Send texts to each friend and family member in your life to express how they love you well. Send words of encouragement, gift people in line at Starbucks with a free coffee, deliver flowers to a friend at work who has had a tough season. Whatever it is, you can manage your expectations and use your “hopeless romantic” desire in a way that loves others well. This applies to you whether you’re single, dating, engaged, or married.

As a wife, I will not expect my husband to be anything he’s not on Valentine’s Day. If he isn’t a hopeless romantic all other 364 days of the year, he’s not going to be on Valentine’s Day. He will show me he loves me in ways that he wants to (and, he always does now… and he’s really good at it!). And, regardless of what love may be shown or romantic things may or may not be done for me on February 14th, I know without a doubt that I get to use the day to meet my own expectations of loving others. Does this make sense?

And here is my final encouragement to you, wherever you’re at and whatever life stage you find yourself in: You have a God who loves you so deeply. And, shocker, He loves you way better and more faithfully than even the best husbands or boyfriends. I mean it. I am not just saying “Hallmark-Worthy” things to make you feel a little better about a holiday. I am telling you, God loved you first and it’s because of that GREATEST love we have even a glimpse at His love through the gift of relationships. Our friendships and romantic relationships are literally just a tiny glimpse at the vast love our God has for us.

“So, what do you think? With God on our side like this, how can we lose? If God didn’t hesitate to put everything on the line for us, embracing our condition and exposing himself to the worst by sending his own Son, is there anything else he wouldn’t gladly and freely do for us? And who would dare tangle with God by messing with one of God’s chosen? Who would dare even to point a finger? The One who died for us—who was raised to life for us!—is in the presence of God at this very moment sticking up for us. Do you think anyone is going to be able to drive a wedge between us and Christ’s love for us? There is no way! Not trouble, not hard times, not hatred, not hunger, not homelessness, not bullying threats, not backstabbing, not even the worst sins listed in Scripture:

They kill us in cold blood because they hate you.
We’re sitting ducks; they pick us off one by one.

None of this fazes us because Jesus loves us. I’m absolutely convinced that nothing—nothing living or dead, angelic or demonic, today or tomorrow, high or low, thinkable or unthinkable—absolutely nothing can get between us and God’s love because of the way that Jesus our Master has embraced us.” Romans 8: 31-39 (The MSG)

No matter what comes your way, you have a God who loves you immensely. Exactly as you are, broken and -perhaps- a little jaded. He loves you.

Happy Valentine’s Day, sweet friends. Know you’re loved today (and every day).

xoxo,

Han

Finding “Me Time”

January 31, 2019

Alright, so a couple weeks ago I decided it was TIME. Time to make every appointment I have said I would make for the last two months and actually go to them. DUN-DUN-DUN (insert dramatic music here.) I called it “Self-Care Week,” and it. was. so. good. I cannot tell y’all enough, just like it’s so important to find time with your spouse (sans kids!!!!), how vital it is to find some “you time.”

I don’t care if you’re a mom, a wife, single, no kids, a roommate, living at home… whatever! You need YOU TIME. This is a daily need and then also, on a bigger scale, at least a monthly thing. Have a large chunk of time set aside to be alone, y’all.

I keep referencing this in things I write lately, because it’s just such an important realization: Jesus got away from crowds to be alone. And, I guarantee you it was to re-coop and become a better-equipped self for all the CRAZIES out there. 😉 Okay, Jesus definitely wouldn’t say it that way… But, human Hannah definitely does. I need to get away and re-coop, without Knox or Paul, to be a better mom and wife. Then, of course, as a couple we have to get away without Knox on a regular basis.

When I don’t, I lose it. I am short-tempered, angry, feisty, and don’t want to be touched. That’s not fun for anybody to be around, and I hate when I get to that point.

Most weeks, “me time” looks like a stroll at the grocery store with a coffee in hand alone. Or, it can look like getting my hair or nails done. Or, it could simply be getting to go back to my room with a glass of wine to read while Paul plays with Knox.

Alright, so I say all that to set up my extravagant “self-care” week. My “me time” doesn’t look this fantastic, but I wish it did. 😉

I got my eyebrows shaped and tinted with my girl Carrie after MONTHS of saying, “I gotta make an appointment.” No joke, I think I went from May to January without seeing her. Big news: Carrie is branching off from Southern Chic Wax to start her own company and I am so excited for her!! Start following her new journey, here. You can start booking appointments TOMORROW, Feb. 1st!
I scheduled my next hair appointment and dentist appointment (praises!). Sounds silly, but it’s really important to me haha. As far as hair goes, my bestie Bethany is the most incredible colorist, and if you’re local she is coming back from maternity leave in the early spring!
I went to TruDerm, which I documented on my Instagram, for my first experience with microdermabrasion. I loved it! It was painless, like a deep cleaning for my pores basically. The spa itself was gorgeous, everybody was so nice, and -honestly- here’s what I was most impressed with. Having never been to a clinical spa before, I was expecting a bunch of women with noticeable fillers. Just being really honest. But much to my surprise, from the person behind the desk who greeted me to the woman who did my facial (and everybody in between that I passed)… nobody had “too much” botox. I know that could sound a little judge-y… and I don’t mean it to. But as somebody who values natural beauty but also believes botox is a-okay and you should do whatever floats your boat… I just was really pleased to see an entire clinical spa with beautiful women everywhere with amazing skin and, for those who had it, well-done botox! It was the first thing I told Paul when I came home. I would 3000000% trust TruDerm with fillers on myself or people I know after having seen every single person in their spa and not thinking once “Aw man, they did too much.” I know that seriously could be taken wrong, so please don’t turn it into something. But, TruDerm has my absolute, hands down utmost respect for their work!
After 3 years of saying I want to… I finally went to see my first counselor. I KNOW! When I told some people this they asked, “Oh no! Why?” Which it totally understandable! A lot of people go to a counselor in crisis, and I am team ‘See A Counselor’ ALL THE WAY. For me, though, I just know there’s things I need to work through emotionally and spiritually from experiences in my life that I haven’t really dealt with before, and I am excited to finally do so. Some of the best, most admirable leaders I know see a counselor once a month just for the heck of it, and I honor that. I figure if they do, I should too. Already, I feel freedom from getting to talk about things with all walls down and no fear of saying something “I shouldn’t.” Anyways, go see a counselor! I dare you- it just might be the best thing you’ve ever done!
I spent a ton of time cleaning out my closet- tossing things I love but didn’t wear this past year in its rightful season (that’s my rule for purging!). I sold a bunch over on @shopthecakescloset, and donated the rest. It felt good to make some money on the side to put into my business and to buy some new jeans I desperately needed.
I did no alcohol for 3 weeks and no cake or ice cream. SAY WHAT? It’s true. My church does a fast twice a year, and our 21 Days of Prayer and Fasting is always how we begin the year. I decided no glass of red wine like I so love at the end of every day, and no cake or ice cream. I don’t know how we made it with no cake or ice cream… but we made it y’all! Paul and I chose to fill our evenings with intentional reading instead of TV most nights during this time as well, which was so refreshing. I am currently reading It’s Not Supposed to Be This Way, Lysa Terk’s new book… and well, let’s just say I was weeping 10 pages in. Every evening felt like space set aside for “me time” when I got in bed to read.
I painted my nails- yeah. I painted them. I have had paint-less nails for at least 9+ months…
Another huge deal for me is our gym! We chose our gym because with our membership comes up to 3 hours of childcare a day when we come to workout. So our gym membership is a little pricey… but I also credit it to half of my sanity, haha. Working out makes me a better self, and getting alone time does. And, my kid is getting to play with other boys and girls his age we wouldn’t otherwise know. It’s just all such a win! Worth every extra penny. For the new year, I decided to commit to myself going to at least three CLASSES a week in order to challenge myself physically and to meet people. It’s been so. much. better. for. me. I am just not the type of person who can push themselves in a solo workout. I will just scroll my phone while I lackadaisically use the elliptical for 45 minutes. But now, I feel sweaty and accomplished after a workout again, and I love it!

So, what do you do for “you time?” I am telling you, it’s a vital part of your schedule. And if you don’t set aside time for you… do it and you’ll see why it is. Love you guys!

xoxo,

Han

“Me Investments”

How My Son Made Me Love My Body

August 31, 2018

Ladies, let’s chat. Cool?

Whether you are single, in college, engaged, newly married, married with a kid, a high schooler, or a single mom… I think it’s safe to say our bodies are a hot topic, regardless of what stage of life you’re in. I always thought when I was younger, “Oh, when I am “older” I won’t be so weird about my body anymore.” HA. Gosh, I wish. The reality of that thought is that your insecurities don’t disappear with age, they disappear with truth. So, let’s be honest with ourselves. I would venture to say it’s safe to bet that at some point every single one of us has struggled with our body image. I will be the first to raise her hand and say, “I sure have!”

My story? I was a dancer my whole life, and slowly felt the pressure of being “small enough.” Mind you… I was 5’1 and definitely never was overweight to begin with. It was all self-inflicted pressure. I lived my life with calorie counts and checking my side view for years until I withered away to basically nothing. Then, unlike I had hoped would happen as I got older, my insecurities didn’t disappear. They just followed me into college and marriage. It was my insecurities that absolutely subtly effected my perspective on becoming a mom for a long time. I definitely had a list of other fears ranging from no sleep, already hectic schedules, and figuring out how to keep my marriage priority with a kid. But, my greatest fears when it came to the idea of having kids was labor itself, and then the fear of my changing body.

I knew deep down all those other things could be figured out… but what would happen to me? That terrified me most. Funny enough, I was in the best health and shape of my life when I got pregnant. Mentally and physically, I was doing awesome. I had spent years figuring out what I could and couldn’t eat from allergies, and just spent over a year reversing -thanks to a crazy scientist doctor- years of misdiagnosis and doctors telling me “nothing is wrong” when I knew something was. Finally, I wasn’t sick all the time. Finally, I had answers for my fatigue. Finally, I felt like more than a shell of a human being walking around. And, above all, I was so secure in my own skin. And then… I got pregnant. HA. I had to accept my body was about to change drastically. Again. I was about to be exhausted… all the time again. I was about to be nauseous… all the time again. Different reasons this time around, but I was about to feel like crap again. It seemed silly to me. I worked so hard to get healthier, battling both mental and physical sickness, and then as soon as I was feeling great… I felt like it was time to become a mom. Funny how that happens.

But here’s the best part you guys. I realized through pregnancy just how much I love my body. God used my greatest fears to reveal my greatest joys. I found freedom in the midst of my biggest fear. What I thought would be my greatest road block in pregnancy became my favorite part!

Question: What is your biggest fear that, if you took bold steps into, COULD actually be the deliverance you’ve been needing?

Alright, so pregnancy went great. I felt awesome and I was proud of what my body and I just did for 9 months. *high five, body!* And then, my labor didn’t go at all as I had expected and I had to have an emergency c-section. I felt a little betrayed by my body that I had grown to love so much over the last 9 months. For the first time in my life, pregnancy made it feel like we were on the same page. It felt like we were working together… and then, I couldn’t deliver my son. I tried. I tried so hard, and nothing was working.

I thought my body had tricked me, stabbed me in the back. But then I realized it actually was my son’s saving grace. It knew better than I did to not progress or the baby inside of me that I loved so much would die. I have nothing but gratitude for my body. More than ever I can say, “I love this body!” I owe my son’s life to it in more ways than one. It grew my son, every ounce of weight gain and expanding hips, nausea and fatigue… It was all worth it. All I have to say to you, body, is thank you for bringing my best little friend into the world exactly how you knew it needed to be done. So sure, my body lays a little differently now. My tummy region is shaped differently, and no matter how hard we work at it, that bottom little pooch just won’t seem to disappear yet. My ribs legit look different now. They set outward and a little higher than before. But, I love you anyways, body. And, in fact, I vow to never speak ill of you ever again.

I wrote that to my body a couple of months after Knox was born. It’s taken me almost 9 months to talk about it. But, that’s where I am at. Thank GOD our bodies were designed by a creator to do more than we could have ever imagined.

Now, listen. Whether you’re pregnant, just had a baby, or having children is NO WHERE on your radar… It’s amazing how God can use situations we dread in order to show us freedom.

Jesus walked into a situation he absolutely dreaded by saying “yes” to death on a cross. Don’t believe me? He sweat blood he was so anxious and terrified for what was about to come while praying in the Garden of Gethsemane. He begged God to allow this cup to pass… He didn’t want to die a gruesome death. He DID however want you to experience freedom. So, He went. He carried the cross for you, for me, for every insecurity. Through death, freedom was found. Life for all of us came through a painful situation. Aren’t you so thankful Jesus went to the cross? Let Jesus’ example be what leads you into freedom from whatever it might be in your life. Maybe it’s body image, or maybe it’s a tight hold on things you cannot change. Whatever situation you are seeking freedom in, perhaps walking into the depths of what you fear most will reveal a freedom you didn’t even know was possible. Jesus will meet you in the darkness and shed light. You can’t see what parts of you need light, though, unless you do in fact go into the darkness to expose where shadows are dwelling. Perfect love casts out all fear, and darkness literally cannot exist where light is.

Find freedom, friends. I hope you know you’re beautiful. I hope you see there is freedom from whatever your insecurities might be. If you find yourself pinching, poking, and turning to the side to see if it’s a “skinny” day… please, go to the darkness with a torch in hand (psssst, that’s Jesus!) and expose what parts of you need truth.

You are beautiful.

You are made exactly how the Lord designed you.

You are irreplaceable.

You are knit and woven by God, The Creator.

You are special.

You are perfect as you are.

You are enough.

You are worthy.

xoxo, Han

This shoot with Knox is my favorite I have ever done with Hannah from Cottonwood Road Photography. I told her I just wanted something simple. My hair is its natural straight style, these jeans are 3 years old, and my top is from last winter. My nails aren’t painted, and my headboard has a button missing. There was something freeing in and of itself showing up just as I am for this shoot. Also, I mean, look at this kid. WOW. It hurts how much I love him.

Hey, I Have Missed You!

July 5, 2018

Wow, y’all. It’s absolutely crazy how much has gone on in the last couple of months. I have felt so behind on EVERYTHING, and work honestly has come last in the overwhelming race against the clock every single day and constantly just trying to keep it together until nap time. (I get two times a day that bubba goes down- I will share Knox’s latest schedule in the coming weeks!) Now, because we are family around here, I wanted to just fill you in, say “hey!”, and keep this good thing we’ve got going. Because, listen, I like you. I want to keep you and I connected. 😉

To be frank, The Cake by Hannah has taken a back burner the last two months to a baby who has discovered he wants to always be vertical (and is now crawling like a champ!), the month of May that was swallowed by sickness (multiple times for all three of us!), and the month of June which was dominated entirely by travel/camp/Paul gone for 10 days. You guys, sending your husband off to a remote village in Africa with zero contact for any amount of time is unsettling, but DANG 10 days. We had never been apart for that long before, and definitely not without contact! I feel like I have been out of my routine since the beginning of May. And in case you’re wondering… it’s July… JULY. I went to the gym today for the first time since May, because I can’t ever figure out how to align getting someone to watch Knox so I can go to barre. I often start writing posts and can’t finish them. I literally have 5 open documents at the bottom right corner of my computer of posts I haven’t finished yet. It’s just so hard -all of it- when you are trying with every fiber of your being to be a good mom, good wife, good mentor, and oh yeah… when I get the chance, good writer and find “me time” to do what I love.

Because of the challenge this season of life has brought, I have longed for simplicity in every little nook and cranny of my life. What I focus on and who I focus on. How long I take to get ready. How much less I care about what I am wearing. How much more I care about if I am investing my time and thoughts in something that matters. You see, the best part about the last couple of months has been that despite this season being a challenge, it’s also been so life-giving and helpful. I have never been happier, I don’t think. I have never felt so sure of myself, despite the chaos around me and my (countless) shortcomings.

Sure, there’s a lot to figure out in this act of balancing life, work, motherhood, being a wife, and… well, everything. But here’s what I know: I have never been more happy with simple than now, and I am just glad you guys want to be part of whatever that looks like. That my friends is so freeing. I have never been more content with less for the sake of more than now.

**Literally just stopped writing this post for a good 40 minutes, because Knox just said “mama” for real for the first time. I about died. And I then proceeded to lay on the floor making him say it over and over again… Case and point… this is why my focus is so divided, but I don’t mind it one bit. My family and being a mom will ALWAYS trump work. I will share videos of him saying “mama” at the bottom of this post. You will also see how much of a monkey my child is all of a sudden… literally none of this is staged. (Feel like I have to say that O_o) **

For a quick update on us: Knox is crawling and climbing over everything. And, as of .2 seconds ago, apparently saying “mama”. I am still absolutely freaking out. Paul just traveled to Africa for 10 days where he served with Mission Massai, preached to the village at their Sunday service, and helped lead a VBS for the kids. We then had camp for our students, and then preached this past Sunday with Emma Mae Jenkins. *She is actually my pastor’s niece. And, she is just as amazingly kind and precious in real life as you hope she will be.* This was my first time to ever PREACH from the stage (I sing from it all the time!), and despite being incredibly nervous… I had so much fun and have a new love for speaking. Not a bad gig to work and experience so much in life with my hubby literally at my side. I am so grateful for life, y’all. SO GRATEFUL. You can listen to our’s and Emma’s message from Sunday here.

Anyways, clearly life has been wild. I have been trying to figure out what to focus on and how much time to put into things. Here’s what I can guarantee you will always get from me:

Instagram: I am always there. Let’s hang out. And if you like following along with my life, my family, my faith, and just keepin’ it real… tell yo friends, too. 😉
Sweet Thoughts: Every single Tuesday, without fail, at 6 AM you will receive my weekly devotional. (Except this past Tuesday, because it’s a holiday week and I gave myself off.)
The Blog: I will continue with weekly blog posts. Some weeks there may be more, but I am promising myself and you at least one a week.
The Cake Shop: This is ALWAYS there! I currently have Signature Tanks, Because He First Loved, and Sunny Days ball caps in full supply for the summer. The Cake Shop is an extension of the heart behind The Cake by Hannah. The mission to always be sweet, find joy in the little things, and to spread kindness like buttercream frosting.

I love you guys so deeply, friends. You celebrate and cry with me, and everything in between. I am grateful for each and every one of you. I am grateful for what we’ve got. 😉 I was going to do a photo shoot for this post, but honestly… I just found it fitting to share some pics from the last few weeks from the every day simplicity of our life lately. Like, 4th of July parades, lake days with friends, our first movie theatre date in years, a breakfast date, and such. You know, life. *insert a shrug here*

Love y’all. I have linked everything I am wearing to the best of my ability.

xoxo, Han