A Summer Soiree at Home

My 29th birthday party was intentionally a tiny gathering with the girls who truly carried me through the last year. It was the most difficult year, full of heartache and disappointments, and yet I actually somehow had one of my favorite years even still. It was 100% because of the women I call my best friends. I don’t take it lightly that I am blessed with a genuine group of women who seriously love each other equally. We fight for one another, love our differences, and not only embrace these differences but actively learn about them to better our friendships. If there’s a personality test, we’ve all done it [most likely together] and discussed it for hours, later using it as as a tool in our toolbox for things that arise between us as we ARE all so different.

To celebrate the girls who made what should have been an awful year not only bearable but a blast, I honored THEM with a special dinner. I told them to wear a dress that makes them feel like a goddess in the blush/cream or floral aesthetic and to come ready for a secret garden inspired soiree. Originally envisioned as a dinner party under the stars, Texas decided to be unbearably hot after weeks of unseasonably cool temperatures, so I moved it inside. We all looked too beautiful to die of heat stroke 😉 I knew I wanted good food, a table that seated us all comfortably, a lot of flowers, and a variety of our favorite bottles of wine. We had Etta James ringing in the background all night long and it felt like we lived in a different time for just a night.

I wrote a toast to each girl, celebrating the thing they taught me through the year of heartache that I truly see in them. None of it was blowing smoke or needing to come up with something to live up to the rest… it’s incredible who God has surrounded me with. They all are the most beautiful women, inside-out. Writing a toast to each of them was so easy. I wept my way around the table, cheers-ing a toast to each as we all nodded and cried in agreement. These women walked a similar path this year in some respects, all of us have a bond over a life change we didn’t ask for but knew had to happen. But, we also have women who lost another baby and then got pregnant with a rainbow. We have women who lost friends and family. We have women who have struggled with deep anxiety because of autoimmune diseases but confidently champion others regardless of what’s happening behind closed doors. We have women who are infectious about what they love, inherently making everybody love it, too. We have women who are so selfless they make sure everybody else is having a great time even if they need help themselves. We have women who can literally talk to anybody, anywhere and connect with them as though they’ve been lifelong friends, and it always somehow ends with a conversation about God. We have women who teach us that confrontation isn’t a bad thing and is actually a great tool to resolve peace in our lives.

I could go on and on, and sadly there were a few of the people in my life who couldn’t make it this night. But dang, I am so lucky. This goes down in the books as my favorite birthday party ever. It was so special, intimate, and just felt like me. Paul stood in the kitchen as we all were about to eat and he said, “wow, this is so you.” It felt magical!

For my secret garden soiree, I used the following vendors:

The Styled Affair: Farmhouse table and table setting (8-10 seats)

Unrefined Bakery: Raspberry Lemon Cake with Sprinkles added on top

Caterer: Paul Morrison (hehe) But honestly… Y’all. Traeger has changed our life. My husband cooked our entire spread of salmon, chicken, asparagus, Brussels sprouts, and grilled pineapple. And it was THE best. The girls said it was arguably the best chicken they’ve ever had. IF you’ve ever considered buying a Traeger… do it. I mean it. Do it. (We have our Traeger Grill Shop, here!)

Costco: 4 bouquets of roses – wholesale price and BEAUTIFUL! I have used Costco florist for multiple big events in my life and they never disappoint!

Dress: Vici Dolls *I bought small with the hopes it wouldn’t be too big (usually an XS in dresses) and it fit GREAT!*

Paper Goods:

I made each girl take a photo with my new camera because they’re just so lovely. I wanted them to leave with a photo of themselves they loved! I mean… can you EVEN with how beautiful they all are?

5 Tips to Make Your Dreams Happen

Alright, so here’s the deal: You have a dream, but you have zero idea how to make it a reality. Sound familiar? You have a business you want to start or a job role you desire, but it all feels overwhelming to begin. Which steps do I take first? It can feel like so much that you find yourself paralyzed with fear and confusion, and you stay stuck in the comfortable routine you’ve been in because… well, frankly, it sounds easier than the work you need to put in to make a life you love.

STOP. BREATHE. LET’S DO THIS. You get ONE life. You have a specific purpose. Your dreams are God-given. Don’t waste any of it!

6 years ago I began blogging and started sharing my life with intentionality on my Instagram and website. I wanted a space to write and loved the idea of growing an authentic community when I lived in the middle of a city at the time that felt anything but. I was an exhausted newlywed working in the start-up fashion industry in the heart of Dallas, and I was unfulfilled to say the least. I knew the pace I was running couldn’t last forever… so, I started to take my life into my own hands. All these years later and I am truly living a dream and multiple businesses under my belt that came to life because of the blog I said “yes” to over Christmas break. Whatever your dream may be, I want the same for you. I want you living a fulfilled life with purpose. 

Practical first steps to see your dream come to life
  1. Write a why statement for the dream/business/end goal. A sentence that encompasses the hopes, goals, and dreams of whatever your business or self-investment may be. And then – you filter absolutely everything you do and every effort you put into it through that. My why statement has morphed over the years as my life has literally changed before my online community’s eyes. But, my current statement is “Finding joy in life, motherhood, and fashion.” This phrase tells you, the audience, that coming to my page/website will *hopefully* help you find joy, mommy and fashion tips, and a glimpse into my overall lifestyle. Yep, that one sentence tells you ALL of that.
  2. Write a list of the practical things you need to do in order to begin!
    If this is starting a business endeavor, start with the basics:
    -File your business as an LLC or DBA depending on what the nature of what you do is
    -Create a website/hire out somebody to design your website (Your site is something you shouldn’t skimp on. If you can’t do it, hire somebody who can.)
    -Reserve any social handles needed (IG/Pinterest/Facebook)
    – Choose 5 pillars for content branding and be sure ALL content strategy stems from these (i.e. when looking at your grid of 9 on Instagram, every single pillar should be subtly shown in one glimpse. You have 2 seconds to captivate somebody and tell them what you’re about!)
  3. Write a list of 50-100 goals for your business and start crossing them off. This means send as many emails as you possibly can and tell everybody about what you’re doing. Somebody knows somebody who knows somebody. No… really. Email the most seemingly achievable collaborations or business mentors and work your way up. I will never forget meeting with Katey McFarlan in my earliest days and she said “start with brands who are at the same place as you and grow together.” That, of course, is most applicable to blogging, but the concept is all the same. My first big contract was with BareMinerals all simply because I created consistent content and tagged them on my photos as the make-up I was actually using at the time.
  4. Pick your colors and 5 words. What words, emotions, and colors do you want people to think of or feel when they come to your page? Do you want whimsical, clean, minimal, warm and inviting, editorial-like, inspirational? You have to know the feelings and stick to them with everything you post, write, execute!
  5. Stop saying you wanna do it…. and just do it. Not to sound harsh, but it’s the truth. You WILL be your greatest road block. Do what makes you happy and make it come to life. Hire a business mentor if it doesn’t come natural to you. Whatever you gotta do… take practical steps daily to make it happen.

Looking for more? you can hire me to help consult your business plans and vision meetings. Email me hannah@cakemedia.org

5 Things I Did for Me

This year has been wild… We all know that. Both the world as a whole and in my personal world behind closed doors, everything as I knew it blew up in my face a year ago [almost to the day] and… Although I didn’t ask for it and it’s been quite painful, it’s also been the greatest thing that has ever happened to me, to be honest. This year, I took back my life in so many areas. I said NOT TODAY, SATAN and started doing things that brought me joy, and I pitched the things/commitments/relationships that didn’t. I Marie Condo-ed my life and it’s been awesome. Painful? Yes, of course. I won’t romanticize the work of pruning. But, the end result sure is lovely.

Below is a list of 5 things I have done for ME that made me feel like ME again. I brought back hobbies and parts of me that have died over the years, either from stress or just phase of life. But, not anymore. I am bringing back the best me, and here is how I did it!

Voice Lessons: YEP! I have been a singer quite literally my entire life. My family loves to tell stories of how I would put shows on without hesitation in the living room and make up songs. I was in the best choirs at my 5A high school, sang at church, sang the National Anthem for games at my school etc. Then, in short, anxiety took over my life after some fairly hurtful and traumatic situations in my young adult life. And with those, my gift became a source of deep anxiety. I didn’t sing for nearly 5 years when I graduated from high school. And though I have been a worship leader the last 5 years of my life, my anxiety and fears have always bubbled under the surface. So, I decided it was time to get me back! I have been taking lessons with a worship pastor who, quite honestly (whether she knows it or not) has been equally a voice coach as she has been a therapist to me. She literally has made me preach the lyrics of my songs to empower me to find my voice again. I have started writing songs again and feeling a freedom in my voice [both my singing and quite literally] that I haven’t felt in ages.

Counseling: I have always encouraged counseling and always will. I truly see counseling as integral to your overall physical and emotional health as healthy eating, working out, and friendships are.  Find somebody you love, respect, and who has a life (private and public) that you honor. I love my counselor so much. And even when I come in feeling GREAT with nothing particularly to talk about, I leave a better person because of my time with her. As a wife, boss, leader of a church, mom, and entrepreneur… I need a healthy space to get poured into spiritually, emotionally, and to speak into my businesses.

Audible Books: I just recently started to do this… and I am such a better person for it hehe. But, no seriously… my husband literally just told me this morning he feels like I am being goofier and more playful lately – Overall less stressed. I chalk it up to having a fiction book going all day and allowing that creative space of my mind to work and floruish. Any time I have dead space to fill and could start scrolling on IG or turn on the television, I have started to do an Audible. I also turn it on while driving or doing my house work. It’s just been so great for my mental health. I feel calmer, my spirit feels at ease, and I even feel more creative in my work from filling my headspace with less social media.

Break Rules – Have Fun: I am a 9 on the Enneagram with a very evenly split wing 1/8. If that sounds like a foreign language to you – basically, I feel a whole lot of feels and can be very commanding about those feelings and equally need a LOT of structure. In seasons of stress, I tend to tap into my wings heavily. I have found as I have gotten older that my spontaneity and love for fun has been overshadowed by a need for structure and rules. SO, I challenged myself to start breaking my rules to give my boys a better version of me. A little less structure (within reason) and a little more space for fun. This has looked like ice cream for dinner, a picnic on the ground of our new house without plates, staying up past bedtime for one extra episode of Knox’s favorite show, snuggling in my bed for cartoons before 10 AM…. I have a lot of rules, which isn’t a bad thing. BUT it has become something I cling to for security when my life feels chaotic. If God is supposed to be my only source of true security, though, I need to break the tie to rules where they need the breaking.

Work Out: I have shared about this on here before, but my Peloton is a daily dose of sanity for me. Hopping on for even a 20 minute ride is so good for my headspace. I am a better mommy, wife, and boss when I take the time to get a quick sweat in. I love my bike and truly think it’s worth every penny spent.

What hobbies or life commitments can you make to bring back YOU. Whether you’re a momma trying to carve out space to feel like you each day or a working lady juggling the office and friendships, we can all commit to doing 5 things for ourself that make us our best self!

Building a Home & Financial Tips

We are just WEEKS away from moving into our new home, and I am over the moon. We close on our current home next week and will prorate rent it from the owners (who happen to also be some of our BFFs hehe) until we get the keys to our new place. To be honest, this transition couldn’t be easier and I know it won’t always be the case if or when we ever move in the future, but dang I am thankful. It’s been so fun walking this building journey together, and I wanted to put the most asked questions here about it for a reference sheet in the future if ever you build.

I wrote about picking your builder and location here a while back. Today I wanted to focus a bit more on the logistics and financial side of it all! Of course, there are many different avenues in which you can buy and build, so do note as you read that this is just one of many. We are buying with an FHA and closing in advance on our current home sell so we don’t have any looming contingency clauses of any kind. Those aren’t bad by any means, but since we could sell to our friends with such flexibility it REALLY made this all so much better. If a seller is flexible, you can ask about a contingency as well for in between buying/selling. Often times, people will do a contingency with 60 days if they  put an offer on a home but need to sell their current one to be able to actually purchase the home. For us, we are stoked that we can pay off our current home loan, have our equity sitting in our account and pull the trigger the moment our builder tells us the home is ready for us to move in.

What did you have to put down? We had to put down 3.5% of the home as our earnest money. Your earnest money is essentially a down payment that you can’t get back if you back out of the build at any point. It’s securing your home and tells the builder you are serious about building. Fully custom builds require more down because it’s more customized and in theory tougher to sell if you were to back out of your contract. Make sense? The best part about it all though is we paid our earnest money (and over 3 months, which we totally didn’t expect the option for!), and instead of having a check written to us at closing of that amount, we are opting for it to transfer to the builder as our down payment. So when you buy an already built home, you need your down payment AND closing costs all at once. But, since we’ve really already paid our downpayment, we’ve had this entire year to put money away for our closing costs *which is far less than the down payment.* You tracking?

How did you save up for the home? We have been on a financial journey for a couple of years, and it’s actually been fun to be honest. I like to say we’ve been doing the Dave Ramsey-ish plan with virtual envelopes. Paul is far more educated on all things Dave Ramsey than I am. But, I took the envelope system and ran with it. You can read about our banking system here. It always has felt odd to me to talk about money, but I genuinely have learned I love it and have enjoyed helping my friends reach their own goals. This post about our banking hack has been one of my most read and asked for posts ever. I believe that says SO MUCH about you and this community – we mean business with our finances! So even though it feels taboo to talk about it, I have learned talking about money is really helpful for us. So, top thing, the banking hack has been HUGE for us. In addition to that, we started paying massive payments toward debt (appliances we’ve purchased/medical bills/cars/etc). This has freed up our monthly income as well as heavily spiking our credit scores. For the first time in my life, I have a credit score over 700 and I feel like I can take on the world hehe. To reach our goals, we’ve been living entirely on one income as best we can for over a year and putting all surplus into our savings.

So… I have a savings… now what? TBH this part is hard for me and where Paul is smarter. If it were up to me, I would keep my savings account untouched and save it for a rainy day. BUT, there are far wiser things to do with it. 

Investments

We have had money off and on in stocks, and it’s been a huge help as we’ve prepared for buying our new home. We basically start with a number and continue to invest that amount, sending the surplus to us as an income. Though we have chosen not to has investments running for a while due to the state of the market/world, we will be starting this back up once we move with some of the money we have saved up. Paul trades with MT Options.

Debt Snowball

Paul has a plan in place for us *with Dave Ramsey* to do what he calls the Debt Snowball. We have really big plans for our savings to put toward debts like paying off cars and school in the next 3-5 years. Ultimately, putting what we’ve saved toward those assets and debts will free us up from monthly payments early in life and be essentially worth more than owe. Two years ago, I would have thought the idea of paying off a car in two years sounded like insanity… now, it’s very digestible to think about when you follow the plan. *But… trust me, I would be lying if I didn’t challenge Paul on it multiple times a week because it DOES feel scary to pay such large amounts* But, honestly, it’s just true… Dave Ramsey is onto something. Our whole life shouldn’t be paying debt… It should feel weird that our society has made it so normal to live in debt and on payment plans.

Our NEXT big goal that I am dreaming about *and I mean dreaming, hehe* is to start property investments! We will see… it’s a very early stage thought. But, my BFF and I have some plans 😉

I hope this helps you navigate your own finances! What are your goals? Write them out and start taking steps TODAY toward them.

I was pregnant and had a baby during a pandemic

Can you believe it has been a year since the word “pandemic” entered all of our lives? A word once found only in our history books has become a reality, and it’s weird. It’s sad. It’s confusing. It’s, well, a lot of things. I surely never in a million years thought I would have to navigate pregnancy let alone deliver a baby in the midst of a pandemic. I never dreamed of having to get video of my ultrasounds for my husband as I ventured into my appointments alone. I never dreamed of wearing a mask while gasping for breath in between pushes. It’s been a lot to process, even 6 months later.

There were days I just cried on the table in my OB’s office. She would encourage me and found herself, among all her other tasks as a doctor to so many, counseling and caring for the hearts of her patients through the unwelcome situation we all found ourselves in.

And then, I had a baby. In a pandemic. And then, a day later had a baby in the NICU. In a pandemic. Then, I was stuck at home with a baby. In a pandemic. It was easy to be angry. It was easy to feel overlooked. It was easy to feel lonely. And I definitely felt all of those things at some point.

Now, as we approach the one year mark of this insane time in our world, I find myself looking back at all that has happened. Sure, I am a mom who faced just about every hurdle possible this year, and I certainly tripped over them more than once. But I also am a mom who – regardless of the circumstances- carried and birthed a perfect little boy who conquered the NICU. I am a business owner who stayed afloat through a pandemic and managed to build a dream home in the middle of chaos. See, if this year has taught me anything, both in motherhood and life, it’s that our circumstances do not have the power to define our outcome. We do. Our joy and our outlook on life are in our hands. When everything is so out of control, our perspective is something we do have the reins on. With God as my source of unshakable joy, I can say this year has actually been the best year of my life in so many ways. Not because the circumstances set the stage for an incredible year, but because I see the good in everything that has happened. Perspective is everything. I choose to see the good. I choose to see that I am a warrior mommy who had a VBAC with a mask on and delivered a baby boy in 13 minutes of pushing to avoid a c-section again. I choose to see that when it looked like I should have lost all my work, it doubled. I choose to see that I got months of extra time with my husband and sons before the rest of our life as pastors of Cadence Church.

There is good to be found. Always.

My body and mind have been through the ringer, I suppose, over the last 12 months. And if you’re a mommy who also had a baby in 2020, please hear me say you’re a freaking champion. It’s okay to feel sad and happy all at once. It’s okay to feel overwhelmed by what the year brought. It’s okay to grieve that the first year of your child’s life has looked anything but normal. I have family who have yet to meet Rory, and it sucks. It shouldn’t be this way, and yet, here we are. It’s okay to be disappointed. Also, hear me when I say this, it’s okay to need help. It’s okay to want to process what you’re feeling with a counselor or therapist. Everything you’re feeling is completely valid. Seeing a Biblical counselor has been the best thing I ever did for myself. 2020 was freaking hard.  Every little detail of my life was not NOT affected. But I have also been effected in ways that have shaped me into a new woman. I have grown into a new version of me as a mom, as a wife, and as, well, me.

I will be a statistic in history books, I am sure, as a woman who had a baby in the midst of the 2020 pandemic. Rory will be a number in records as a baby born in a pandemic. But it certainly doesn’t define either of us. It is simply part of our story, and is one we will tell.

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