Hey hey, friendsies!!
Ugh, first off, can we just talk about how I am still soaking in the fact that I can TALK ABOUT my pregnancy now?! It feels so freaking good to, and it makes it all the more real. Oh, and the whole I AM HAVING A BOY thing. Knowing what we are having has made everything more real, because I can talk to him by name now and really start shopping for him.
Though I know there is zero reason or need to justify our decision to keep it quiet for so long, I wanted to share a little about it. Our decision in keeping it to ourselves and close family for so long wasn’t because we don’t believe this is already a life inside of me (we very much believe he is) nor was it because we didn’t want to tell everyone “just in case”. Frankly, because I believe life begins at conception, I wanted to start announcing it immediately. But, Paul and I chose together to keep it quiet a while because of my health and it being our first baby. We just didn’t know what being pregnant would be like, and it’s entirely new territory for us. As people who were told getting pregnant would likely be difficult for me, I wanted to just soak in the fact I got pregnant so easily.
It was fun for us to be experiencing something together for the first time just us- it was a special bond we had knowing only WE knew about something so big. It felt sort of like a secret club, or something.
We shared over time leading up to our big announcement with people we love and would want to mourn with in the middle of grief, if that were how this panned out (though, of course, we prayed against that). As youth pastors, there are hundreds of kids we shepherd, and having to tell them in the middle of our grief if we lost the baby would not only make grieving hard and public for us, but it would be incredibly hard and traumatic for a lot of our kids. We would no doubt share what we were going through in due time, but we decided to keep it from them until the second trimester.
Anyways, I don’t know if that helps any of you or sheds some light as to why everyone treats what time they share with the world at such different times, but that’s our story. We got asked a lot why we didn’t share earlier, so since I am all about being honest and open, this is why.
Alright, so MIDWIFERY. Y’all, first off, that word is so freaking fun to say. Now, you might quite possibly be asking yourself, “What the heck is a midwife?”
Fair enough. My parents were like, “oh cool. um what is that?”
I like to think when it comes to the “Granola” scale, I am about a 5. I am right in the middle. I like natural methods. It is after all an all natural biomagnetic doctor who changed my whole life last July. And his diagnosis and care is very much the reason I got pregnant so easily. So, I am all about off the beaten path methods, but I am definitely not a “there’s an oil for that” kind of person. I like medicine, and I have no problem using it when needed. (Although, I am kind of against antibiotics and avoid those… big part of my story as to why I was sick my whole life.) I have a couple oils I like to use when needed, but that’s about the extent of that. I tell you that so that you don’t just tune me out if you hear “midwife” and think that’s only for crunchy people. I am not super ultra crunchy.
There are different levels of certified midwives, and I would personally suggest getting one who has a masters in nursing and THEN has her midwife certification. This means you are being cared for by a highly knowledgable RN, and they happen to be allowed to do these off the beaten path methods because they ALSO got their certification in midwifery. Does that make sense?
Anyways, a nurse with a midwife certification is kind of like the golden ticket to get out of having to do all the rules of the hospital. All of my appointments leading up to birth are 100% exactly like they would be with the traditional Ob-Gyn. My women’s center is actually split, half Ob-gyns and half Midwives, and they all work with one another. It’s really awesome! I get the same sonograms, same care, same tests… it’s all the same. A mid-wife just will look to more natural methods to cure sickness, nausea, or anything else that might come up during pregnancy before medicine. Then, when labor comes, I will deliver in a hospital with my midwife. Here’s the kicker, the golden ticket, I get to deliver however I want (I am not restricted to giving birth on my back), I get to eat, I get to walk around as long as I want, I get to go to the birthing tub or shower, and I can deliver in them should I choose to do so. It’s basically getting the benefits of a home birth in the safety of the hospital. I will be fighting to do a medicine free birth, but my midwife can give me an epidural at any time. Should I need a c-section, my midwife is certified to be the assistant to the doctor in surgery. If you don’t have a midwife with all the credentials mine does, you are passed off by your midwife and not allowed to be touched by her until your delivery is done if you have complications. But mine literally is with me throughout the entire thing because of her schooling. You’re getting the best of both worlds with a certified nurse and midwife.
Lastly, my favorite part, unlike when you have a traditional doctor, you are guaranteed delivery with your mid-wife unless the VERY rare case another patient happened to go into labor at the same time as you. But, even still, another mid-wife on call will come help you until your own can take over.
I am trying to keep all of this super simple and understandable… haha. Don’t judge my very non-medical terms for all this.
Picking your midwife feels a lot like rushing in college… or speed dating. We set up an appointment to come in and meet all four midwives at our practice. You get about 15 minutes with each one to get to know them, learn their personality, hear their story, etc. We were really nervous. Like, what do we do if we don’t really click with any of them? Find a different practice? But, we just went in praying God would make it so clear who he had for us.
The first midwife came in, told us all about herself and we just totally clicked. Before she even left, BOTH Paul and I were crying. We knew that was our midwife. We went ahead and met a couple more, and were meant to go back later that day to meet the last one… but we cancelled. We knew the first one was perfect for us. You just click with the person you want to be with throughout this process, and hopefully it’s as clear for you as it was for us.
So did you learn something new today? 😉 I am so excited about the method we chose, and I cannot wait to continue journeying through this process with our midwife! I even found out my midwife was neighbors with close family friends and delivered one of my Pure Barre teacher’s babies earlier this year, and they all love her! I’d say we made a good choice.
Now hear me on this: EVERY WOMAN IS BEAUTIFULLY DIFFERENT. Whether you do a fully hospital birth, a completely natural home birth, a birthing center, or a hybrid like I am doing… You are a BAD-A. You’re growing a human inside of you, and you’re going to do whatever is perfect for YOU to deliver that beautiful babe inside of you. There is no method better than another, it’s just what is best for you.
That’s what I love about my practice! My women’s center supports absolutely whatever the mom wants, and they do every type of birth plan (except home births). They don’t even like calling what I am doing “natural birth”, because they don’t want their moms to feel guilty or shame if they should decide to use medicine during their labor. There is a stigma that comes with choosing a medicine free birth and then if you don’t stick to that plan… it’s somehow shameful to use drugs because you said you wouldn’t. THAT IS CRAP and it’s just not true! Y’all, you might come in with a plan for your birth and absolutely everything has to change and be done differently because of A, B, or C. Find a practice who loves you and cares for you personally, and support you in every decision you make along the way. You are, after all, going to be getting really close over the next 9 or so months. Pick carefully, do your research, and choose simply what is best for you.
All photos by Cottonwood Road Photography for The Cake by Hannah
Shop my favorite go-to heel, here.
My dress is from Pink Blush, here. It’s almost out of stock in all sizes. WOMP. But below are some other top floral wrap choices from the same site that I am loving (and currently might have in my shopping cart…)