Love Isn’t Logical

It’s my favorite day of the year!!!!

(Besides Christmas Day and tomorrow… which is my actual wedding anniversary.)

But, I love, LOVE Valentines Day.

This is also a fairly on a whim post, so I apologize in advance for any potential spontaneity in topics- I truly don’t know exactly where this is about to go. But, here’s the deal, the past week on the news in honor of Valentines Day has been nothing short of frustrating, because everything has been about “how to know you’re in love”, “the science of love”, “the math to love”, “testing out love”…

I just can’t even.

Listen to me, you don’t need a ‘5:1’ ratio to know if you’re in love. I just literally watched a segment on The Today Show about how if you maintain a 5:1 zone in your marriage, meaning for every 6 fights, only one is fought poorly, this tells you whether or not you are compatible with your significant other. It took everything in me to not dramatically fall over in a limp ball on the floor with great hopelessness for our world and where we are going. Instead, I just yelled “No” at the television repeatedly. Though I understand the logic of this theory… it is just complicating the simplicity of love. Because, frankly, if that’s the truth, there are many seasons of life Paul and I should have, according to their calculations, gotten a divorce. We can fight a lot! Fighting is healthy, but we are human… and sometimes those fights just don’t sound or look the way they ought to. Believe me when I say that I have uttered words (okay, okay yelled) that I would NOT want displayed for all the world to see. And, a whole lot more than this so-called 5:1 zone.

The issue with all of the segments and “scientific” explanations for love that I have seen over the last week are that they just frankly have complicated love. They have overthought it and this is the reason so many people are afraid to love at all. And I don’t just mean romantically, but relationally in general.

Y’ALL. STOP COMPLICATING THINGS.

I absolutely believe in compatibility. I absolutely believe that you should have similar life goals and you should 100% take these things into account when deciding who you should date and ultimately marry. Geographical location, “soul goals”, career hopes- these are important to cover. And, frankly, even these things will change a hundred times throughout marriage. We are two years in and every single one of these categories have flipped for us. But these are good places to start. From there, the puzzle pieces just fall into place. I am not trying to belittle people who have put so much time and thought into the process and mathematical reasons for love, I appreciate brains like this a ton… but I do feel bad for them. Life at its core isn’t about systems, categories, processes, or methods.

In the same way, love is not defined by logic. Like a faith in God, even if you don’t believe in the same God I do, we can absolutely convince ourselves it’s crazy to believe in a higher being. We can try to logically defile all the things we have written on our hearts for years… but at the end of the day, faith in God isn’t supposed to make sense. That’s faith- belief in something you cannot completely make sense of or see. If you took the time to recite out loud to yourself your core beliefs, meaning for me, “I believe in a God who created a world that fell out of line with him in a garden, and hundreds of years later God sent a son (who was also himself…) to die on a cross, ultimately reconciling the sin of the world, connecting us back to God”…. you can think, “Holy crap, that sounds crazy.” But even still, I believe it with all my heart.

Loving someone is not meant to make complete sense. It’s crazy.

Falling in love means signing up for someone to completely wreck your life in every good way possible. You are welcoming in someone to rearrange some things, and that in and of itself isn’t logical and doesn’t have a specific process. We are all too independent and selfish for that to make sense.

Are you following me?

All I am trying to tell you in this is that love doesn’t make sense, so stop trying to treat it like algebra. Keep it simple- like second grade math. Me + You= Together. 

That’s all.

God’s love, the greatest love of all, makes absolutely NO SENSE. And, even still, he loves us with everything he has. Again, love just doesn’t make sense. It won’t ever make sense. But I will keep on fighting for it.

I love y’all enough to tell you to stop complicating love. Just stop. Don’t listen to the world who tells you all these ways you have to test out if you should be with someone. (ALL THE WAY DOWN TO HOW YOUR BODY REACTS BLINDFOLDED TO THE SMELLS OF SOMEONE ELSE.) That.Aint.Love.

Let this encourage you. I hope this takes some of the pressure of figuring out love off your shoulders. Love will never fully make sense, but it will feel right. There is wisdom in picking a partner, and I hope you use it. But, the rest is up to you choosing love. You choose every single day to continue loving the person you picked. Love isn’t like pairs of shoes that you get to choose daily off of how you feel. (Thank God for that!) Once you have picked, you continue to pick that pair of heels or sneakers every single day. Follow me?

Happy Valentines Day, y’all. I love each of you so much! And, I hope you feel loved today. I pray you do not fall into the traps of loneliness; I hope for your heart to be filled with joy. The great news is that there is a God who wants to LAVISH you in love today… and every day. If you haven’t given him a shot yet, perhaps start there today?

xoxo- Han

The Look of Love with BareMinerals

Love is in the air!

I absolutely love Valentines Day. I enjoy baking cookies for friends, passing out gifts, and sending cards in the mail to people I love. Plus, when half your closet is blush pink, Valentines Day just seems to fit. Not to mention, I got married Valentines Day weekend (we are about to celebrate two years on Monday!), so basically… we are big fans of the holiday in my household.

The Cake by Hannah- BareMinerals

This year, Valentines Day is on a Sunday, which means you have all day to celebrate! What could be better than a Sunday morning Galentines Day brunch? Whether you host it at your house or rent out a special room in a favorite restaurant, this is the perfect way to celebrate the day of love! Celebrate your friends, make them feel special and tell them how much they mean to you. A Valentines Day themed brunch is the perfect opportunity to wear something pink and spunky, and to rock a bright, romantic look. (Save sultry for that hot date later!) I love a good pinky pallet for a pretty daytime look, and today I have one entirely from BareMinerals for you to recreate.

Here is what you see + the steps for application:

  • Skin: Complexion Rescue, Correcting Concealer
  • Eyes: 5 in 1 BB Blushing Pink, Frolic Eyecolor, Lash Dom Mascara
  • Cheeks: READY The Faux Pas
  • Lips: Jazzed Lipliner, Never Say Never Lipstick, Hypnotist Lipgloss

If you are usually just a mascara and dewy skin kind of girl on a daily basis (that’s me!), then this look is perfect for you.  Because although more product than you would usually grab for, it’s still a nude/blush pallet. It won’t overwhelm you and I promise it’s easy to execute. As for these bright lips, take it from me- all it takes is giving lipstick one try and you won’t be able to walk out of the house without it before too long! I love a good lip color now thanks to Moxie!

(If this hot pink is still too much for you, give the color ‘Be Free’ by BareMinerals Moxie a try with the Hypnotist Lipgloss on top. It’s the same effect, just lighter! I actually wear this combo for my day to day look 99% of the time now!) 

You can purchase the entire Look of Love here! ****BONUS: Today (February 12th ONLY) you get a free mini Ready Luminizer and Double Ended Precision Eye + Cheek Brush with the purchase of just two items from ‘The Look of Love x The Cake by Hannah Collection’.

The Skirt:

I am so excited to rock this hot pink lip along with this tulle skirt by Space 46 for a date with my hubby on Valentines Day as we ring in two years of marriage on the 15th. This skirt is the perfect Valentines Day look or, bridesmaids outfit, or rehearsal dinner skirt… whatever special events you have coming up, this is a great choice! (I wore it to a backyard wedding last weekend!)

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The Hair+ Nails

To achieve my beachy waves (I like to call it my mermaid hair), I use my 1.5″ barrel Sultra Bombshell Curling Rod. My mani is done by Bellacures, and it is by far the best experience at a nail salon I have ever had. They are masters of the dip manicure, and I don’t know if I can do anything different ever again because I loved it so much! If you’re in the Dallas area, stop by their salon at Preston Center!

Happy Valentines Day, pretty girls. Listen to me when I say this: You are beautiful. If you are single, rock it. Don’t let this holiday get you down, rather take it by the reins and make it fun with your best gals! Valentines Day isn’t JUST for romance, it’s for celebrating the people you love.

As for me and Paul, we actually make Valentines Day a 3 or 4 day long extravaganza since it is such a special time for us. Tonight we kickoff our favorite weekend of the year with dinner at our favorite restaurant in McKinney!

BareMinerals says it well: Be Original, Be Natural, Be Good. 

Love y’all!

xoxo- Han

***All photos for this post and The Cake by Hannah by Cottonwood Road Photography**

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Greater Love

 

Ladies, let’s chat.

Can we do that?

It’s February, which is one of my favorite months of the whole entire year. Next to Christmastime, Valentines Day is one of my favorite holidays. I love love. I have always loved it. I love giving gifts. I love pink. I love excuses to dress really girly. I love red roses. I love cookies. I even got married Valentines Day weekend. The holiday should just be named ‘All of Hannah’s Favorite Things.’

Listen to me, though. I know that with the month of February, like so many other holidays, there can also come feelings of unsettledness. Holidays are great until they bring up unwanted emotions we try to keep subdued throughout the year. There can come with it the baggage of past loves, painful breakups or the hatred of current circumstances. Singleness can be a hard time- I have talked about it before (here). You can begin to believe all these lies that you are unlovable, not pretty enough, daring enough, risky enough, or intriguing enough for someone to love. These are lies- NASTY lies. Terrible lies that are so untrue. Everybody’s seasons of singleness are different. I know that can be hard to hear from someone who got married at 21- I get it. I know I got married young, and I always feel silly saying to someone I know what it feels like to hate your singleness- but I swear I do. Read my story in the previous post I connected above, and I promise you will see I waited a long time.

Here’s where I want to speak to today- there is love to be found that is so much greater than our idea of cute, spunky, tangible love. Spunky love isn’t bad, it is fun! But, I promise that if you are in that season of singleness- be it by choice or maybe you’d rather not be- there is love to be found that beats every expectation and hope you have built up in your mind. Yes, I am talking about the love of God, which I am sure you may have seen coming knowing who I am and what I do. But, I want you to hear me when I say that I find so much more satisfaction and fulfillment in the love of my God than even my husband. Paul can’t meet every need I have, he is human and is going to fail me at times. But my God never will. He is who gives me the ability to extend grace when my husband does let me down, because, let’s face it, he is going to. I don’t say that as if my husband is a failure, no he isn’t at all. I say it because it’s just the truth. I will, likewise, let down Paul a lot. Forgiveness and grace isn’t something either of us can do on our own, it’s through the love of God who loves each of us individually first. It’s through our relationship with God that we can have healthy relationships with one another.

My husband is a youth pastor, and this week he is prepping for a sermon to kids about God’s love language. If you’ve never heard of the Five Love Languages, I encourage you to find out what yours are! Paul’s are quality time and words of affirmation where as mine are gifts and acts of service. Knowing how we receive love helps us understand each other so much better. Likewise, God’s love language is, really all of these, but I think his greatest one is relationship- quality time. To have a good, strong faith, you must pursue it. Until you pursue God above all other relationships, you will never feel “full.” Your relationship tank will always need something more, but not if you place God’s love first.

So as we enter into a new, fun holiday month, I encourage you to view Valentines Day different if it puts a little bit of an icky taste in your mouth. I encourage you to make it something more than just a romantic holiday. I encourage you to, first and foremost, seek love elsewhere if you’ve been looking for it in others. Take time this month to press into the love of God. Prayer time is so important, it’s what develops a relationship with God. He isn’t this God up high in the clouds, he is someone who wants to sit in your passenger’s seat in the car while you drive to work. (I am serious, my best prayer time even since high school has always been in my car.) Talk out loud to him, carry conversation with him throughout the day. It doesn’t always have to be this formal prayer time we all have an expectation for in our heads. He just wants to chat with you, hear your heart (even though he knows it), know what you’re angry about, know what you’re happy about. Also, take advantage of this month to love on your gal pals. Take the time to send letters to each of them thanking them for their friendship and what you love about them.

Love has the ability to run so much deeper than what a romantic kind of love tells us it does. Romance is great. I love my husband so much it’s painful, but there is love even GREATER than that, and the great news is that it is available immediately to you. It doesn’t need to wait around to see if they like you, too, or go on a first date to test out- it starts now. Plus, BONUS, this love is one you get to celebrate year round! You don’t just get flowers and chocolate on the 14th with this one, but you are lavished in love every single day. I can’t even say that about marriage, y’all. (Come on, if you’re married, you know there are days you just aren’t showering out every ounce of love you have for your spouse.)

I hope that you can view February as being so much more than romantic love, but as a time to focus on relationships as a whole.

You are loved! Happy February!

xoxoxox- Han

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