Ladies, let’s chat.
Can we do that?
It’s February, which is one of my favorite months of the whole entire year. Next to Christmastime, Valentines Day is one of my favorite holidays. I love love. I have always loved it. I love giving gifts. I love pink. I love excuses to dress really girly. I love red roses. I love cookies. I even got married Valentines Day weekend. The holiday should just be named ‘All of Hannah’s Favorite Things.’
Listen to me, though. I know that with the month of February, like so many other holidays, there can also come feelings of unsettledness. Holidays are great until they bring up unwanted emotions we try to keep subdued throughout the year. There can come with it the baggage of past loves, painful breakups or the hatred of current circumstances. Singleness can be a hard time- I have talked about it before (here). You can begin to believe all these lies that you are unlovable, not pretty enough, daring enough, risky enough, or intriguing enough for someone to love. These are lies- NASTY lies. Terrible lies that are so untrue. Everybody’s seasons of singleness are different. I know that can be hard to hear from someone who got married at 21- I get it. I know I got married young, and I always feel silly saying to someone I know what it feels like to hate your singleness- but I swear I do. Read my story in the previous post I connected above, and I promise you will see I waited a long time.
Here’s where I want to speak to today- there is love to be found that is so much greater than our idea of cute, spunky, tangible love. Spunky love isn’t bad, it is fun! But, I promise that if you are in that season of singleness- be it by choice or maybe you’d rather not be- there is love to be found that beats every expectation and hope you have built up in your mind. Yes, I am talking about the love of God, which I am sure you may have seen coming knowing who I am and what I do. But, I want you to hear me when I say that I find so much more satisfaction and fulfillment in the love of my God than even my husband. Paul can’t meet every need I have, he is human and is going to fail me at times. But my God never will. He is who gives me the ability to extend grace when my husband does let me down, because, let’s face it, he is going to. I don’t say that as if my husband is a failure, no he isn’t at all. I say it because it’s just the truth. I will, likewise, let down Paul a lot. Forgiveness and grace isn’t something either of us can do on our own, it’s through the love of God who loves each of us individually first. It’s through our relationship with God that we can have healthy relationships with one another.
My husband is a youth pastor, and this week he is prepping for a sermon to kids about God’s love language. If you’ve never heard of the Five Love Languages, I encourage you to find out what yours are! Paul’s are quality time and words of affirmation where as mine are gifts and acts of service. Knowing how we receive love helps us understand each other so much better. Likewise, God’s love language is, really all of these, but I think his greatest one is relationship- quality time. To have a good, strong faith, you must pursue it. Until you pursue God above all other relationships, you will never feel “full.” Your relationship tank will always need something more, but not if you place God’s love first.
So as we enter into a new, fun holiday month, I encourage you to view Valentines Day different if it puts a little bit of an icky taste in your mouth. I encourage you to make it something more than just a romantic holiday. I encourage you to, first and foremost, seek love elsewhere if you’ve been looking for it in others. Take time this month to press into the love of God. Prayer time is so important, it’s what develops a relationship with God. He isn’t this God up high in the clouds, he is someone who wants to sit in your passenger’s seat in the car while you drive to work. (I am serious, my best prayer time even since high school has always been in my car.) Talk out loud to him, carry conversation with him throughout the day. It doesn’t always have to be this formal prayer time we all have an expectation for in our heads. He just wants to chat with you, hear your heart (even though he knows it), know what you’re angry about, know what you’re happy about. Also, take advantage of this month to love on your gal pals. Take the time to send letters to each of them thanking them for their friendship and what you love about them.
Love has the ability to run so much deeper than what a romantic kind of love tells us it does. Romance is great. I love my husband so much it’s painful, but there is love even GREATER than that, and the great news is that it is available immediately to you. It doesn’t need to wait around to see if they like you, too, or go on a first date to test out- it starts now. Plus, BONUS, this love is one you get to celebrate year round! You don’t just get flowers and chocolate on the 14th with this one, but you are lavished in love every single day. I can’t even say that about marriage, y’all. (Come on, if you’re married, you know there are days you just aren’t showering out every ounce of love you have for your spouse.)
I hope that you can view February as being so much more than romantic love, but as a time to focus on relationships as a whole.
You are loved! Happy February!