Holy smokes, y’all. How am I still pregnant? Who the heck knows… hehe. I am technically 38 weeks now, however my body has been prepping for weeks. At 35 weeks I started having pre-labor signs *super painful evening practice contractions!* and now I am about 2 cm dilated and over 50% effaced… so I am just a walking ticking time bomb at this point. Currently having contractions… pray my water breaks lol.
To be honest, my anxiety has been pretty high the closer I get to delivery. I have had a couple breakdowns about how different this hospital experience will be from Knox’s birth. I will have to wear a mask at any point a doctor or nurse is present, which makes me really anxious to be honest. I have a really hard time with a mask on my face, which is why I have generally just chosen to stay home so much through the last couple of months. Second, I decided months ago that in order to hopefully have a successful VBAC, I will be getting an epidural to calm my body once I arrive at the hospital. I am incredibly anxious about this. I don’t do well with needles or hospital settings in general, so I am just really nervous. I will be laboring from home for as long as possible, though, as long as things progress well! If you weren’t around here for Knox’s birth, I had a birth plan for non-medicated birth in the hospital. I labored for 9 hours with almost no progress, so I was forced to get an epidural. I still ended up with an emergency c-section and we discovered Knox was cord wrapped THREE TIMES and would have never come vaginally. So, God was incredibly sweet and protected us all 29 hours of labor to bring that boy into the world. Lastly, I can’t have my mom present this time around and Knox can’t come meet Baby R. I have dreamed of that special moment my son walks into the hospital room with a gift to meet his brother. I know it’s small in the grand scheme of things- but it’s still a dream I have to let die. It’s just all really different and nerve-wracking, and I am having to let myself grieve it all. But, at the end of the day, however this boy decides to come and whenever… I just want a healthy baby in my arms when its all said and done. I have to keep reminding myself that.
Today, as I am prepping for labor (and praying it’s TIME) I am also thinking through all things post-labor, including newborn pics! I rounded up some favorite summer dresses currently available in my favorite shops that will photograph well AND be perfect for postpartum. ALL of these are non-maternity and great for everybody! I just made sure to pick ones that are friendly to that postpartum belly. 😉
Baby R’s Nursery: