Today is my husband, Paul’s, birthday. He is 26, which sounds pretty crazy if you ask me. I feel like 26 just sounds old. It sounds like “adult.” 

I love celebrating people’s birthdays, but I particularly love celebrating Paul’s. I love giving gifts. I love taking out time specifically for people I cherish and focusing on what they contribute to the world. I enjoy making them sit at the table, awkward as it might feel, while friends and family go around in a circle showering the birthday boy or girl with kind words, making sure they hear exactly what all the things are we love about them. A friend of mine in college taught me that, a tradition of her family’s, and it is something I have carried on for every friend’s birthday since. Birthdays are the only holiday throughout the year a person gets to themselves. It doesn’t have to be narcissistic or self-consumed, although it certainly is done wrong in such ways, but rather, when done right, I believe birthdays to be God’s grace, giving us a day where we HAVE to be celebrated despite how underserving we are of praise and love at times. (And, no matter how much we might hate or fear it.) Plus, who doesn’t love birthday cake? Birthdays are a picture of how God loves us. It is a celebration of life, breath, and marking another year of purpose. As Paul’s wife it is my job, no matter what the day, to remind him of the things he is excels in. It is my job to affirm him and selflessly love him, but on his birthday this is especially so. 

Paul had to have been one of a kind, because up until Paul, nobody was ever good enough for me for more than a week or two. I think my parents were starting to wonder if I would ever date at all. But since day one, I have always seen something more in Paul. If you haven’t caught on from watching us, Paul is extremely kindhearted and giving. He straight up spoils me, and he is really good at it. He is such a better person than me. He will drop literally anything he is doing if I call him and need help with something. He has made countless last minute runs to the grocery store for ingredients or lady stuff (sorry, boo), never uttering a single complaint. I once, in one of those weeks of overcommitment to everything possible, locked myself out of my running car in downtown Dallas while darting to a meeting. I called him, a frazzled mess, and before I was off the phone with him he was in his car on the way to rescue me. Paul is selfless. He loves giving gifts more than anyone I know. He takes time to analyze and review every product on the market until he finds the perfect one for whom he is buying a present. Paul is extremely cautious, and for this I am so grateful. Paul is aware in all public settings of exactly every person around us, this is something I love because it is a love a lot like my daddy’s. I think Paul secretly knows coordinates, like in Battleship, watching me as I move from one to the next, looking ahead for anything that might harm me. I know for a fact if we were ever in a bad situation, he would know before I even had the chance to process what was going on. He is the definition of protector, and I feel safe with Paul. He is selective with who he lets in, but the people he loves he knows extremely well. He knows what hurts them, he knows what they like or what makes them feel most loved. Paul is always sensitive to making sure everyone in a group feels welcome. Paul is love. He exudes it. He leaks out love onto everyone. He is that person in the grocery store line who is so talkative + sociable that I sometimes wish I had a less loving hubby… but no, not really. 😉 I am thankful for his kindness. Paul is good at all the things I am bad at. He can be nice to anybody. He is extremely observant and can talk to anyone (I am very jealous of this characteristic.) He ALWAYS tries to see the other person’s side no matter what the situation, even when I just want him to be angry with me. Even when all I want is for him to say, “Hannah, you’re right. That person sucks,” he instead pushes me to think about the bigger picture. He makes me a better person. In situations where I feel mistreated or frustrated I think, “How would Paul handle this?” He is gracious and understanding. Paul is tough, manly, and a newly founded football fan. (He grew up a hockey player). If you ever are wondering what you can get Paul, it is anything Nike. But, he is also gentle, sensitive, and a romantic comedy kind of guy. The Lord knew what he was doing when he put me with someone who cannot stand a scary movie commercial, let alone the actual thing. Paul is goofy. He is fun, easy going, and I can lay in bed with him for an entire day just laughing + making up jokes.

Paul Allen Morrison is handsome. Nothing else really needs to follow up that statement, because it’s pretty basic and definitely true.

Being married to Paul is the greatest choice I ever made. Our marriage isn’t perfect, we don’t nail communication, we don’t speak kindly to one another always. Truth is that if you are looking for perfection in a spouse, you will never be happy. But, if you are searching for someone that pushes you to be a better person, to look more like Jesus; someone who knows to get you sherbet ice cream when you are sick again; someone who runs you to Sprinkles Cupcakes when you have had a terrible day; someone who helps you think rationally despite how much you want to be irrationally angry; someone who gets giddy over a new planner and ways of organizing their closet; someone who eats sweet potato french fries daily; someone who can always get the new peanut butter jar open; someone who is easy to make smile; someone who is anxious to help; someone who tells you you’re beautiful when you just get home from the gym; someone who seeks to know the good in everyone… then I suggest you find a Paul Allen. You can’t have mine, sorry ladies, but I encourage you to look for someone like him. Be patient in the waiting if you haven’t met your Paul. It is worth the wait. I hope you get to experience marriage, and then the joy of writing out the attributes you love about your husband the most on his birthday. I hope you end up writing a long piece about him, because there was just too much to keep to a concise list.

Happy birthday, boo. You mean the world to me, and you impact every single person you come in contact with. Thank you for being my leader even when I am stubborn and impossible to lead. Thank you for being you.

xoxoxox- Han

I cannot believe we are just days away from Christmas. Today my only agenda is addressing and sending out 40 Christmas letters to our friends and family (I know we are a little late). I love sending out Christmas letters. There is such a sweet sentiment writing praises of the year past and sending it out to others who will rejoice and celebrate with you.

To put this past year into a word, it would have to be “aw.” 

It’s wild to think that this is mine and Paul’s second Christmas married, fifth since dating, and just two months away from our second wedding anniversary. Growing up people tell you time flies, and I believe it now. Five years ago seems like yesterday. When we first met, it was the end of October. Our first actual date was a little over a month later, driving through Christmas lights in Grand Prairie and dinner at Spaghetti Warehouse. (Funny side note, someone anonymously paid for our meal that night.) We had so much to talk about that the lights tour we drove through just wasn’t enough. We found ourselves making our way in and out of neighborhoods for hours all over Dallas. It was that night I knew that night I could marry this guy. A week later I had to go home for a whole month for the holidays (anybody else miss a whole month off for Christmas in college?) We would Skype at night and talked every single day.

I love this time of year. I love that this time of year is not only my favorite holiday, but I especially love that it embodies everything about the beginning of falling in love.

Two years ago this time, we were nailing down all the loose ends for our fast approaching wedding. I had just graduated and moved into my very first apartment on my own. I had no idea what I was officially doing with my life other than the fact I was getting married. And though I was excited, I was also scared. Choosing to get married young changed my career plans a bit. Being a newlywed working night shifts at the newsroom wasn’t exactly ideal, so I took a different path. That Christmastime is seared in my mind. It was defined as a season of change. We were too broke to buy one another gifts that Christmas, but we were anxious and expectant for what was to come. That was a gift enough. That Christmas was a sweet one in my memory.

This time last year, I can’t explain it other than the peace of God, the both of us knew we were on the brink of something new. Something good. We could just feel it in our bones. We clung to prayer and our community. This time last year, to be completely vulnerable, was tough. From being sick, broke (holla if you have more school debt than you know what to do with!) and unsure of how we were going to pay bills at times, Paul and I had to fight to be friends. (Don’t worry newlyweds, you’re normal!) But, when I think about everything that has changed for us this past year, I could honestly weep. Yet even still, I wouldn’t change those first years together. With new jobs, new city, and the cutting edge of better health, we have so many praises for 2015.

We both phased out of jobs and into ones that are exactly what we have always dreamed of. We legitimately thank the Lord for that every single day. We know we are lucky to love what we do for a living. After years of being sick and no idea why, we finally found a doctor who nudged us in the right direction, fighting alongside me to get to the source. I can’t say how ready I am to stop being tired and sick all the time. I am hopeful that in our next Christmas letter I can tell you I am 100% healed. I am believing in God to do this, knowing even if I don’t get better, He is always good. 

Moving to McKinney:

For months and months we prayed, begging for answers. If you had told me a year ago McKinney was the answer, though, I would have probably responded angrily. I refused to ever even play with the idea of moving away from our apartment in Dallas. I loved it. I loved living in the heart of the city. I loved where we were, but I absolutely hated some of our circumstances. God had to soften my heart toward following wherever Paul’s career might lead him, putting my desires on the back burner. The minute my heart and hands opened to what God might have for us, things took off. We entered into a season that lasted six months, interviewing with churches all over the metroplex. I realized my desires were different than what I thought they were. See, when we move out of God’s way, we realize our desires line up with the Lord’s will. It doesn’t feel like putting your desires on the back burner anymore, it feels like fulfilling your calling. Timing ended up landing perfectly (duh), and the two of us moved up to McKinney two months ago for Paul to take a job as the Youth and Young Adults pastor at Anchor Church. All the no’s over the prior six months instantly made sense. Thank GOD for unanswered prayers, because I cannot imagine us anywhere but Anchor.

2015 has been a year for the books. It’s been marked by change and transition, trial and joy. Answers and deliverance. I will hold 2015 close to my heart forever. I am thankful to Jesus for this year, I truly am.

Happy Christmas, friends. May you remember that joy comes from above. We love because he first did. We breathe because he took his last on a cross. Don’t get caught up in the bustle of Christmas, rejoice we have a savior.

xoxo,

Hannah

Shout out to Cottonwood Road Photography for our incredible Christmas photos

Marriage is a funny thing. It seems that no matter where I go or who I meet with, be it a room of 2 girls or 200, marriage comes up. It is as though I have “I am married, ask me questions about it” written across my forehead, and I absolutely love it. The most common topic I am emailed about or asked about if we are simply chatting over coffee, is marriage. Everyone is curious about what it is like and if I love it. Can marriage really be that great?

Marriage is the bomb.

It is not easy. I hope I have made that clear as day to everyone repeatedly. I never want to be that girl who portrays everything is peachy keen or that my life is perfect when, in fact, life can be tough and marriage is very hard. Paul and I have to work at being friends sometimes, because that is what happens when you live with someone. Love is a choice. Marriage is a commitment. You have to pick to do both. And, as easy as it is to say, “Okay, I am committed” is as easy as it could be to say, “I am done.” You have to decide to be all in. There isn’t the option of “well, what if…”

It simply comes down to picking someone who, no matter what, you want to do life with. And, believe me, you’re going to change. But, thank goodness you won’t be the same person at age 40 as you are when you get married at 20-something. Right? Why is change seen as such a bad thing? You change together, you fight for change alongside one another.

My two MOST asked questions:

A. How do you know?

B. Are y’all best friends?

How do you know? I have brushed on this topic before, but I love talking about it. Bottom line, there are probably a ton of people out there both Paul and I could have been compatible with. Sorry to take away the fantasy of that one soulmate ideology, but I just don’t believe it to be fully true. Paul could have totally said, “Hannah you’re great and I love being with you, but I think there just might be someone I am even better with.” That’s just not how it works, though. If you are single and think too much on that, you will never get married. I am simply thankful God brought Paul into my path at the time he did, because it was the right timing and we were compatible. We chose to say “I do” because we chose to love each other. We chose to say, “The looking stops here, because I like being with you.” Cheating happens when people start thinking again on what other compatible people there are out in the world. It is deceptive and fleeting.

Redeeming the purpose of marriage is hard when the world doesn’t believe in holding off on living with one another before marriage and we all have commitment problems as it is. Why get married when we can just live together and, if it doesn’t work out, move right back out? You and I might disagree on this, and that’s fine! I love conversation and I don’t expect to see eye to eye with all of you. But, this is why I think you might think the way you do if it differs from how I see it:

We are always looking for the ‘Plan B’ in everything. We want a good “insurance plan” for every situation in our life (me included!), but that thought process is exactly what is ruining the value of marriage. Think wisely and have Plan B’s, but know that doesn’t apply to marriage. That’s not how it works. Our generation cannot even RSVP for a wedding without fear of commitment let alone having a wedding of their own. Do you know what I mean? It is a heart issue far more than we would care to admit.

This bleeds into the other question: Are y’all best friends? I LOVE THIS QUESTION. Frankly, when Paul and I started dating (which, side note, TODAY marks 4 years since we met!), I actually had to remind myself I had girlfriends to hangout with still. I just loved being around Paul. Now, I know no different. We do everything together. We cook and eat our meals together every night, we shop together, we make decisions together. We ask each other’s opinions on our outfits, and we definitely change if the other doesn’t like it. We can’t stand driving places apart from one another, we can’t go 24 hours without having a good sit down conversation with one another. Choose someone who you love doing life with- I will keep saying this over and over. Choose your best friend and don’t let go of them.

Paul and I chose “I do”, because we chose to fight for commitment. We believe in the meaning of marriage, what it represents. We believe in exhibiting sacrifice, we believe in showing off who Jesus is through a covenant. Now, if you don’t believe in Jesus, I would love to chat with you about that, but even still, marriage is for you. I promise! Simply put, all spirituality aside, why wouldn’t you want to commit to enjoying life with a best friend by your side who, no matter how crappy you can be, guarantees they will not leave you? THAT IS GOLD.

Note this: Marriage isn’t guaranteed or even a desire for everyone, and that’s a very different subject. I am talking about those of you who want to be married and are dating to be potentially married. If you want to be married, but don’t know if the person you are dating wants to or are afraid they might divorce you, then maybe it’s not the right person. Pick someone who the “D word” doesn’t exist in their vocabulary. Though marriage is hard -Paul and I are really good at fighting- I rest easy every night, because I know divorce is not an option of any kind.

Taking this one step further- If you’re a part of a divorced family, there is restoration and redemption in that, too! There is no guilt in the cross. The best news is that you start clean everyday with Jesus. How cool is that?

Love is a choice. Marriage is a choice. I chose Paul then and I still do.

I would LOVE to hear from you. What are your thoughts on marriage? What are your questions? I would love to hear them!

Have a happy, happy Friday. You are all so loved. Thanks for letting me into your lives. It means so much.

xoxo, Han