Hannah Morrison

Oh, Hey 25

Y’all, today I am 25. That feels SO weird, and I am not gonna lie, this is the first birthday I have ever semi-dreaded.

Side note: I also had to think really hard about how to skip when Hannah told me to skip for this photo. That’s depressing and definitely ages me.

I guess turning 25 makes it official that I am not just a carefree young twenty-something anymore? I am officially knee-deep into being a mid-twenty-something.. gasp! Haha. Maybe it’s because I only have one more year left with double insurance because I am also on my parent’s but only until 26? Maybe it’s because I legit don’t understand what half our students are saying, and they have to explain to me the latest lingo. Dear Lord, I am becoming my mother! Maybe it’s because, straight up, I have had to start using anti-wrinkle cream and stretch mark preventatives… haha. Keeping it real, y’all.

But, whatever the reason- a combination of all of the above- the thought of 25 has been a scary birthday to me.

Well, that is until about 3 months ago…

Up until 3 months ago, I felt like 25 was just bringing another year of some uncertainty, busyness, and saving every dollar possible to put toward a home- all done now with the title “Quarter of a Century” under my belt. And, although 25 will certainly still be this in every regard, it’s also on track to be the most purposeful year I have ever had in my life. As of three months ago, my job title, my goals, my role for the coming year… it’s all changing in year 25 and I couldn’t be more thrilled. The dread I once felt has turned into overwhelming excitement.

I always knew in theory one day I would carry the title “mommy”, but I had no clue when it would happen. I definitely wondered if it would ever click for me and how old I would be when I wanted to become a mom. But, I couldn’t honestly have knit together a more perfect time for Paul and I to become parents than this exact time in life. So much is still unknown, of course every penny still counts, and we have nothing but EVERYTHING to learn about kids and parenting, but on the same token, so many puzzle pieces have worked themselves out over the course of the last year. I truly believe it’s all led to this.

This week we had so many plans change, but now four days later, it’s all shaking out to be perfect. I am honestly just in shock what a difference there is in our plans for life we had last week vs. this week. Life changes, but it’s always good.

Of course it is though, God is moving.

So sure, 25 might bring a whole lot more sleepless nights than college did, a lot more laundry and spit up on my tee shirt I have likely worn three days in a row, and feeling a tad frazzled at [all] times… but I am going to be a mom and I wouldn’t want to welcome a quarter of a century any other way. I am also entering into 25 as a home owner- that’s freaking exciting. The Lord’s hand has been so gracious and sweet to us this past week.

So today, I celebrate 25. And I mean genuinely celebrate it. I feel like more than ever before, more than any other stage of life, I am looking forward to the year to come with anticipation and uncontrollable giddiness. 25, I think you might be my favorite year to date, and I am sorry I ever thought any different.

I kicked off my birthday celebrations yesterday with my first facial ever, and I am sorry to say I haven’t done them more! I will definitely be adding that to my regimen. Today, I am getting a massage and my nails done, letting Paul cook, and starting to pack… because we are moving, and SOON. It’s such a good day, and I am thankful to celebrate with y’all!

xoxo- Han

All photos by Cottonwood Road Photography for The Cake by Hannah

This dress is sold out now, but it’s from Ashley Lemieux and there are a ton of similar options!

 

The Cutest Blue Dress & PG Update

For today’s pregnancy update, I will get into what I physically felt in weeks 4-6, but I really wanted to be honest about psychologically what I was starting to feel at this time. I started having a rush of emotions and fears as the reality of pregnancy hit me.

Note: I wrote all of these updates in true time, so though some of these things have changed or stopped, I am sharing what I wrote as I wrote it to keep it as real and honest as possible.

What am I most scared about?

A couple of things. First and foremost, I am nervous about pregnancy itself. I am not that scared about being a mom, that part really excites me. But I am scared about the process to becoming one. The changes I will experience, the sickness (dear God, don’t let this last the whole time!), and the fear of labor. I am also, to be completely honest, really nervous about how I will respond to my body getting bigger and changing. Because of my history with my body, struggling with eating and obsessive habits for so long of my young adult life, I’m really nervous about what my reaction to a growing belly and thighs will be. I want to enjoy the process, not despise it. I am just prepping myself to give grace upon grace. Again… I am growing a child in me. And as I sit with a bowl of Captain Crunch in my lap currently, I would like to say I am starting this whole grace thing off on the right foot. It was literally the only thing that sounded good to me this morning and momma had to eat.

What am I feeling?

At this point, we have known I am pregnant for three or so weeks, and have made all the big necessary changes and appointments. I made my first 8 week exam with the doctor (actually, I am doing a midwife- I will share all about that decision), told my parents, grandparents, and siblings, and a few close friends. I don’t think there is anything more thrilling or sweet than telling someone you love that you’re having a baby. My daddy’s reaction and my sweet sister melted my heart to pieces, and my mom and mother in law made me giggle non-stop.

I have been nauseous for the last week, which has been miserable. Not going to sugar coat it. And, according to my Ovia Pregnancy App, next week is likely to be the worst for those symptoms. I am bracing myself… but hoping for the best!

Weeks 4-6 honestly were the moments I thought to myself, “What the heckkk did I sign myself up for?” Like, I was trying to get pregnant… I really did sign up for this, and it’s miserable.

The food aversions have been SO REAL. Things I used to love that I literally can’t look at without wanting to vomit (like coconut oil and chicken… which is like 90% of my diet pre-pregnancy), and random smells that all of a sudden bother me. I will think I really want something to eat and then start to make it, and I have to stop immediately and walk out of the room.

Chinese food is the best thing ever. Thank God for PF Changs.

The thought of a cup of coffee has made me want to vomit. WHAT?! Coffee? Haha, it’s true!

Cravings… they’re all over the place. But when something sounds good and I don’t want to puke from it, then I jump on it. One night it was a bowl of spaghetti sauce… literally just the meat sauce… no noodles. Another day it was ham and turkey with cheese. And cereal, that has been a big craving! I want Lucky Charms and Captain Crunch.

I have slept a TON weeks 5 & 6. Week 4 I felt pretty good other than feeling bloated. Week 6 I have slept about 3 hours a day and am averaging 10 hours a night. And I am STILL SO TIRED. I have had to give myself some serious grace the last week as I have been propped up on my sofa. Where I am usually a go go go girl, I have had to be a sit sit sit girl which is so hard for me. I have felt worthless and lazy just because of the way I am wired, but I keep reminding myself I am growing a CHILD in my belly and my body is working twice as hard now. Literally, pumping blood twice as much. That’s exhausting work!

All in all, even in the nausea, I am having a blast starting to really grasp the concept that I am going to be a mom. (WHAT?!)

xoxo- Han

This dress is from Landry Kate, here, and I am SO OBSESSED with it. It’s as light as a feather, and doesn’t feel like you’re wearing hardly a thing when it’s on, which is great for those outdoor summer weddings. It will also totally grow with me as baby grows, which I am very stoked about. Oh, and did I mention it is less than $50? BOOM.

 

Sharing the News

Sharing I was pregnant with Paul was nothing romantic or exciting like I had always dreamed about doing for him when the time came. I couldn’t stand waiting to take a test when he wasn’t around after I felt convinced I had to be pregnant, so I took one while he was on the couch chilling with the door to the bathroom wide open. (#marriedlife right?) When the test said “YES”… I literally couldn’t keep it a secret or hide my shock. It was a sweet moment.. but nothing fun or creative.

SO FOR OUR PARENTS…

I had some creative redemption to do. It was Easter weekend and my parents and grandparents decided to come to Mckinney to celebrate with us at Anchor, which was so special and so perfect. We had Easter lunch and dinner at our apartment with them and my sweet mother in law who lives in Mckinney near us. I got each parent an Easter basket filled with candy and one golden egg. I had written out on card stock “we”, “are”, and “pregnant”. These mommas have been begging us to make them grandmas since the day we got back from our honeymoon (lol), and it was the greatest joy of my life to tell them they were going to be one! My daddy’s reaction makes me cry every time I watch, too. There’s just nothing like a bond between daughter and daddy, I just wanted to squeeze him as tears filled his eyes.

Then it was finally time to share with ALL OF OUR STUDENTS.

Y’all, keeping this big of a secret from that many kids… so hard! There was almost a full month I couldn’t make it to Wednesday night, because of how sick I was and we had to make up something new every week as to why I couldn’t be there… it was rough! Sunday mornings on worship team in April and May was so hard, too. I would wake up at 5 AM to try to let the sickness pass before I had to be at church at 9. I never did puke on Sunday morning up on stage, but I had an escape plan ready in my mind if I had to!

We had no clue how our students would respond to the news, honestly. Like, we knew some would be stoked, but we thought some might be a little weirded out. You just never know… So we made a video announcement a couple weeks before with Jordan Stratton, like we would for any weekly video announcement at church or a Wednesday night. We staged it as if it were going to be about some fun things coming to Anchor Students over the next year… and we totally fooled them.

Their reaction, in all seriousness, made me cry so much because it was a tangible expression of the family that has been created in Anchor Students. We never could have dreamed we would have over 100 kids feel like they’re our own before ever having an actual child of our own… but that’s 1000% what it feels like. I am so thankful beyond words for the season God brought growing a family to our hearts, because that child is going to be one loved, well-babysat, and taken care of baby.

I truly feel like the luckiest person in the world to be surrounded by such an amazing community of people in the most exciting/kinda scary/transitional time of my life. Like, genuinely, I can’t even express well how much every single person in our life means to us, and how every single time we told somebody we love, their response was beyond what we could ever imagine or expect. It is such a testament to the amazing people we have the opportunity to know and do life with, and I am humbled by their love and support.

AND I am completely humbled by YOUR LOVE AND SUPPORT. Literally, I can’t say thank you enough to your overwhelming response of announcing baby Morrison. I literally was just in shock and crying pregnant tears for hours. Your DM’s, your comments, your emails… every single one was read. I had to give up responding to each of you individually, because Instagram made me. No, like really… it stopped letting me reply to people because it was too much at once. HA. But, know that I love you all so much and have read each of your comments and cried a lot.

You have extended a kindness and generosity beyond what I could have ever hoped this community on The Cake could have been, and I just truly am so humbled and so thankful.

xoxo- Han

 

First 3 Weeks of PG & A Summer Look

Alright y’all, I have been writing a BUNCH over the last three months, keeping logs of what I was feeling and experiencing each week- both emotionally and physically. I will be sharing those throughout the coming months, as well as current updates! I also want to promise you this: The Cake by Hannah is not and will not be solely a “mommy blog” now. If you aren’t pregnant or a current mom, this community is definitely still for you. I am not changing who I am as a blogger, just adding something new to the mix! You will still see Presley, my marriage, my shop, my closet, and my faith. There just happens to be a growing belly involved now, too. 😉

I seriously have been so blown away by all of your comments and messages. I am still trying to soak in everything that’s happened over the last week.. but I can’t seem to fully grasp it all still. Thank you so much for being part of my life, y’all! You made this experience ALREADY so much more than I could have ever expected. Paul and I feel so overwhelmingly loved, and just so humbled. Did I say “thank you” enough yet?

Okay, okay, so more about the first few weeks:

As I had mentioned in my announcement post, I found out I was pregnant two weeks in, which was definitely earlier than most. Mind you, we had been trying so we knew to take a test regardless, but it was pretty easy to know… “that time” hadn’t come yet and my dog was CLINGY AS EVER.

I had no suspicion I was pregnant at all though after I had convinced myself I was definitely pregnant the month before and turned out not to be. I was also traveling with my mom the whole first week of pregnancy, and she even joked about me being pregnant because I was nauseous a few mornings. But, I chalked it up to something I had eaten and lack of sleep, because that happens fairly often for me. Then when I finally got home, life never slowed down and I wasn’t able to think much about my symptoms I was already experiencing. I really thought they were all my normal life symptoms of being tired and doing too much. I was always starving, waking up sweating at night, having creepily vivid dreams, and my dog wouldn’t leave my side. They can smell when you’re pregnant, and a mommy instinct kicks in (real life) and Presley literally was guarding my door, following me everywhere, and laying on top of me any chance she got. I also usually want sweets but I was grabbing popcorn, chips, and stuffing my face with all the broccoli and pickles I could. I always love pickles, they’re not strictly a PG craving by any means, but I ate an entire jar in 24 hours week 2.

I started researching OB-GYNS week 3, and picked one close by. I will share all about what I have decided to do for labor and my pregnancy journey soon. (which I am sure will make someone care enough to post about me on Reddit and say I am stupid… 😉 If you don’t follow my Instastories… don’t worry about it, haha.) So anyways, I decided to switch doctors because my doctor was in south Dallas, but with the nature of pregnancy and visits being far more frequent, I decided to find someone in my town.

First Few Weeks of Symptoms

Irritability… out the roof y’all. OUT.THE.ROOF. I think I will start the hashtag #GodBlessPaulMorrison

Just kidding. But no, really.

Emotions… OUT THE ROOF. Crying, yes, and angry as heck at everything.

B L O A T E D and C R A M P S. We are talking like, “Whoa, I know that can’t be my PG belly yet. But my WORD.” While your body is transitioning and the uterus is doing its thing, you are uber bloated and cramping as if you are on your cycle (it’s like a  pinching sensation- nothing crazy or super painful, but you can feel it for sure).

PEEING. ALL THE TIME. Week 3 we were at a conference one day with church staff, and I literally had to get up every thirty minutes. I was definitely drinking water, but I was like “What the heck is happening?!” So, of course, I googled if this was normal. It is. In fact, week three your embryo is finishing attaching to your uterus, and that is what causes you to pee a lot.

Who knew.

HOT. I am very cold natured all the time. But, I started to sweat a lot and get really hot. The day after we found out I was pregnant, I was leading worship with our students for Student Sunday. We were jumping around 20 x’s more than a usual Sunday service, and I was about to pass out. I was so out of breath and seriously dripping sweat. My hair underneath looked like it does after a cycling class. I had to keep ducking down, sitting on my heels any chance I got during rehearsal, and I wanted so badly to be like, “I AM PREGNANT, Y’ALL. Don’t mind me.” I also snapped at our friend and guitar player, and I was like OMG, Hannah… get it together.

I immediately started reading mommy blogger’s posts about pregnancy, their favorite products, etc. and started to get incredibly excited. (Thank you Katey Mcfarlan!) We started planning how we would tell our parents early on, and decided to tell them fairly early because my parents were going to be here along with Paul’s mom at Easter. That would put us right around 5 1/2 weeks.

Weeks 1-3 were just like being on your period, for the most part as far as symptoms go. Nothing too out of the ordinary, but enough to know to take a test if you really pay attention!

Okay, cool, but what about this outfit?

This dress is from Pink Blush, and I absolutely love it!!! It’s the perfect summer dress, and I totally have been wearing it before baby bump. Although… I don’t think that will be much longer! I can see a bump starting and I am so freaking excited. Pink Blush has maternity clothes as well as cute clothes for the non-pregger lady. 😉

You can shop my sandals and make-up below through the links! This heeled sandal I have on is my go-to through spring and summer. My super fun aviators are from Diff Eyewear, here.

xoxo- Han

All photos by Cottonwood Road Photography for The Cake by Hannah

We are…

P R E G N A N T

Y’all.

It’s real life.

We are having a baby.

I literally cannot believe that I am saying that. It’s been so hard to keep it a secret from all of our friends for so long, and from you! Yes, my three weeks of being sick back in April… and I just couldn’t quite shake it… pregnant. Weeks 6-9 to be exact, haha. But now, no more living in secrecy!! We found out week 2… soooo I have kept this quiet for almost three months. (!!!!) And on Saturday I officially start my second trimester. PRAISES. I can’t wait to journey through the next 6 months with you.

The Story

Back in December, long story short, I knew I was definitely not pregnant when it was “that time”, and for some reason I was disappointed. I had never ever toyed with the idea of trying since getting married, and I have never even been that kind of girl that gawks over babies and loves little kids. (Does that make me sound horrible?) My friends always joked that I would be the first person to get pregnant just because fate would have it that way for someone who swore she never wanted kids for the longest time.

When Paul and I got married, I knew he wanted babies and that I was not so sure about it. He never pushed or pressured me one way or the other, though. Other than knowing he wanted kids, we never talked about it. He was happy with whatever made me happy. Adoption was always appealing to me, and it very much still is, but the idea of having babies -like the actual delivery process- horrified me. And, I feared having kids that could hate me. (Just being honest.) With all my health stuff, too, I was told it could be really hard to have babies and it could harm me. Babies just weren’t anywhere on my radar.

So then, when December came around and I was experiencing these thoughts of wanting babies, I starting wrestling with that thought and praying through it. Two months later, I still hadn’t been able to shake the thought which is when I reached out to my besties (because, duh) and I decided to bring it up to Paul. We went out for our anniversary dinner at Whiskey Cake, but we started to fight (derp) because Paul left his wallet at home and we almost left. We stayed though, and were waiting outside for our table trying to shake off our little “quarrel” in the parking lot… haha. I knew I wanted to tell Paul tonight, but wanted to wait until we got to our table and the night already didn’t quite start like I had hoped.

We sat down for dinner, and I puked out the words no man wants to hear, “I have something I want to talk to you about.” Of course, Paul thought immediately he was in trouble about something. And I just started talking about December, how I have been wrestling with the thought ever since.. and now this.

Paul replied with a grin and the words “I have been waiting for you to tell me when you were ready.”  Paul had been praying for the Lord to change my heart toward having a baby for months, and He slowly was.

The Power of Community

The biggest influence on my change of heart toward babies was 100% our church community. One of my biggest fears has been if we have kids we would just fall into the trap that our lives become our kids and my marriage is secondary. I don’t want that- I am selfish for my husband and I want to be best friends forever. Mushy? Yes. True? Yes. Having friends our age and doing life with amazing parents our age, and seeing couples with young kids who still choose each other over their kids, and very intentionally do so, has completely changed my fears and view of having babies. I could do this- and the idea became warm to me for the first time in my ENTIRE life.

So we started trying, and by God’s grace the process was freaking fast. Truly God’s grace, because we were told I could have a hard time conceiving with some of my health stuff. I had truly convinced myself I was pregnant the first month, but found out I wasn’t. So the second month when I actually did conceive, I had no clue. I wasn’t letting myself go there, I was traveling for 3 weeks, and truly chalked up every slight symptom I had to travel, sleeplessness, and multiple time changes. We had just sprung forward and then I was in Arizona for a week, which was 2 hours more off my normal schedule. It was a mess!

Symptoms/How did I find out

Okay, so, when everything came together for me and I decided I should take a test, I was laying on the floor trying to workout and the dog would NOT LEAVE ME ALONE. Suddenly, I remembered reading something about how dogs often will know you are pregnant before you do. They become super motherly, clingy, and bark at everything. For a few days, Presley was more clingy than ever and was literally guarding doors and growling at any noise she heard. She legit would lay by the door and growl at nothing as if to warn anybody she was ready for them if they did decide to intrude. I had also been so freaking hungry for a couple of days, too, y’all. Pickles are not strictly a pregnancy craving by any means, I eat them all the time. BUT, I went through an entire jar of pick halves in less than 24 hours, and started on the Bread and Butter pickles. I was eating broccoli by the loads to try to fill my hunger without regretting it.

I popped up and told Paul, “okay, that’s it. I am going to get a PG test. I just gotta know.” He was like, “Wait- you think you might be? You haven’t had any symptoms have you?” Everything was coming together in my head finally, and I realized maybe all of this wasn’t just because I had been traveling and was off my routine…

I went to Target down the road, and I was so uncomfortable buying a PG test, that I walked around the whole store and managed to pick up two pink bath towels that were on sale for $5. Then I grabbed a test, stuffed it between the towels, and went to self check-out. I know.. so stupid. I don’t know why I am so awk.

Anyways, you can put the rest together. It was positive and here we are a couple days away from our second trimester. I cannot believe how fast things have gone, and I am just getting more excited by the second. This morning was our 12 week exam, and baby Morrison is healthy and heart beating strong! It still takes my breath away every time I hear it, and it’s such a reassurance. As my first trimester symptoms have died down so much the last week or so, I started to think maybe I wasn’t pregnant anymore. The anxiety before my 12 week exam was REAL.

I have logged everything the last few months to share with you guys throughout my pregnancy, and I vow to be real and honest about everything I am experiencing while also being super clear that everybody’s body is different and every pregnancy is completely different!

 The main surprise for me so far? How much weight I have LOST (despite my eating of 7, yes SEVEN, chocolate chip pancakes yesterday… errrr…). Every woman is different, but I have definitely lost weight and wasn’t expecting that. I am just ready for that little bump!

xoxo- Han

Now, about this sunrise photoshoot with Cottonwood Road Photography… holy moly. I literally cried during the shoot and totally cried when I got these back. I am so thankful for this images, they seriously capture our joy so beautifully. Thank you so much, Hannah Hagaman!

Dress C/O Fillyboo

Eyebrows and Tinting C/O Southern Chic Wax

   

 

   

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