Repeat with me: I will not be everybody’s cup of tea. 

Old saying, yes? But real as ever. The best thing you’ll ever realize in life is that you cannot please everybody. In our social media world of posting things for likes and being surrounded constantly in our mental space by other people’s pictures and highlights, it can feel like we are just constantly trying to “be” and prove. An effort to keep up, but the catch is that the only pressure applied to “keep up” has been by… ourselves. When I first had Knox, I had this identity crisis as a writer and influencer. Nobody made me experience this other than myself. A large majority of my readers were 20-somethings without kids from when I started my blog out of college. Though the best thing that ever happened to me, and everybody was so excited with me, I marginalized myself from a chunk of people I had grown a community with when I became a mom. Slowly but surely, I watched that follower count drop for months. It shouldn’t matter, but it was so hard for me to see my number shrink as I shared and wrote about motherhood. And so, because of it, I stopped writing about motherhood. I tried to share more things about what I thought my readers wanted to know and see. But, it was holding back a piece of me that was real, raw, and a calling I had in my life. Finally, I stopped caring. HECK, I even JUST finally added “Lifestyle + Mom Blogger” to my title on my Instagram to say “This is who I am and what you’ll get. If you don’t like it, that’s okay.” (But… I low-key hope you do stick around…)

See, listen to me here, the more you TRY to please everybody, morphing into whatever they need from you, the further from your purpose and calling you’ll get. The more frazzled you feel from the moment you rise in the morning. The shallower your friendships will get, because when you spread yourself thin for everybody, you don’t have anything left to give those who actually fill you up in life. You become a shell of yourself, striving for things you weren’t meant to strive for.

You were not called to be a watered down version of somebody else’s tea. You were called to be the tastiest, fullest version of YOU. Your own flavor. Your own specific purpose on this earth in a way only you can uniquely do as you. 

Something happened recently that made me realize my reaction was genuinely a completely different one than it would have been a couple years ago. I was shocked and relieved that it felt like things I had been preaching to myself for years had FINALLY sunk in. Where I once would have been up all night sifting through everything over and over again in my mind, thinking of ways to fix it, I found myself saying instead, “Oh well.” I genuinely was over it and moving on. Mind. Blowing. I was even impressed with myself a little bit. 😉 But really, let’s be real, it’s all JESUS. For real, it is.

My life used to be marked by “frantic mess.” That’s no longer the case- even with a baby on my hip! (Well, at least… most of the time.) 😉 And it really all comes down to one simple lesson I have learned. I have spoken about it on here a few times, but I learned how to say a healthy “yes” and “no.” But, deeper than that, I am realizing that the reason I was able to start saying “no” to things I didn’t want to do or be part of was coming to the healthy conclusion I cannot and will not be everybody’s “cup of tea.” It’s a disservice to everybody to agree to something or be part of something that I don’t actually want to be at. The long-term effect is worse than simply saying “no.” Someone will likely get their feelings hurt when you set healthy boundaries and start being a little more protective of your “yeses.” But guess what? Stop caring.

I know it sounds harsh. It sounds wrong, I know it does. But it’s just healthy. Ask any counselor! 😉 It’s sorta like the Marie Kondo effect, except on your emotions rather than clothing and things. Ask yourself “Will this bring me joy?” If your answer is not an emphatic “yes!”, then it’s probably something you can sit out this time. Of course there will always be things in life you need to be at from time to time that you’d rather not. It’s part of being an adult, ha. There is a line you can cross of being wise and being selfish or lazy. Watch that.

If you’re reading this and it is resonating with you, take it as a sign! It’s time to stop going, and doing, and being things that take away from your time and head space to do what you were actually called to do on this earth. You have a purpose- a really special one with a unique design plan made ONLY for you by your Creator. Don’t miss out on it because you’re trying to build the cookie cutter, knock-off version of the home God has waiting for you just down the street if you’d only look up.

xoxo,

Han

Hey  y’all! You know, I got on here to write my usual Thursday post about something else (which, yoooo, it’s gonna be good next week haha! It’s Psalm 23!). But, I am actually leaving for North Carolina today and felt like I just really wanted to say “hey” and chat. So, can we do that today… even though it’s a Wednesday? 😉

If you’ve followed The Cake by Hannah since before “Hannah the Mommy Blogger”, first off, THANK YOU. It still amazes me so many of you from so many different walks and places have chosen to include me in some little way in your life for the last 4.5 years. I am so grateful. You’ve become a piece of my life that I cherish. If you’re newer around here, thank YOU for joining in on the fun! Things look a lot different on The Cake by Hannah today than they did 4 years ago, because life has changed so drastically. And since this is a lifestyle blog, it morphs with me. It’s like a digital pair of The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants- it doesn’t ever not fit somehow, but it changes depending on the person. Is that a weird analogy? Or are you with me?… lol. It made sense to me.

Though who I am as a person at my core hasn’t changed, my life has morphed and changed into something so different and, arguably, loads fuller than it was when I first started this journey behind a computer screen. And, honestly, much because of you! When we first started this thing, I was a 22 year old newly-wed working a job that was really freaking hard for me and living in the heart of Dallas. I hated Dallas, but didn’t know it yet, and I needed something to be creative and feel at least a little more “me”. Hence, a blog. I love to write- it was my college degree!- but I wasn’t doing it at all, and I felt like a piece of my soul was missing.

I have shared tidbits about that season from time to time over the years, but honestly still thinking about it makes my stomach turn a little. I am still, 4 years later, processing what all I learned while in that season. The good, the bad, and the very ugly. It was quite possibly the lowest low of my life. Have I have told you guys I was fired from my first job out of college on here? I don’t think I have. I have on my devotionals, and it felt liberating to say finally because I have come to terms with it all. I was challenged in ways far beyond “work” and straight to my core of ethics, respect, and learning to honor those in charge regardless of their being “right.” And, in the end I was fired, which was truly God’s grace to me. It gave me severance and 3 months to figure out what I wanted to do with my life after feeling so shot and miserable for a year and a half. I walked out of that office almost literally limping from feeling so dejected and tapped out.

I have spent the last 3 or so years detoxing the things from my life that made me feel inadequate or unhappy, and have replaced it all with simplicity. It truly has taken about 3 years to get rid of the junk I was needing to release. Moving to McKinney from Dallas to be part of Anchor Church was, in so many ways, the best thing that ever happened to me. I got out of a city where money was a central piece to the culture. If you know… you know. Even if you don’t have any, you had to act like you did. I hated it. It was disgusting. It destroyed me, and I never had felt more insecure in my whole life. I had never in my life thought about or cared more about money than living in Dallas. I grew up hardly thinking about money, and this was such a culture shock to me. When we left, I felt a piece of my soul was back. I was rediscovering who I was, who I wanted to be, and what I wanted my life to actually look like.

The next season I started working PT jobs while growing my own business. I launched The Cake Shop. I started sending out weekly devotionals to connect even deeper with you. I got to buy my first home “with you”. Have my son “with you.” Ugh, I just feel sappy. I am so grateful for what my life looks like now, and grateful for how far we’ve come.

Today, The Cake by Hannah is more than I ever even thought it’d be. Sure, my blog is my creative piece still. I love this space the most out of everything I do! But, it’s also morphed into a sister business, The Cake Media Management. It’s created a team of 3 women I love. It’s brought me more than I ever thought, and it’s all because I said “yes” to the Lord not only the last few months but the last 4.5 years. Even when I felt scared as HELLLLLLLL to say “yes.” I turn 27 in exactly a month from today. Going into the final years of my 20’s actually feels exciting, and I look at my mid-20’s with a stamp of GROWTH across the middle of it. I am literally a different human than I was at 22. Heck, even at 25. It’s amazing what happens when idols and fears no longer rule your thoughts, and I have only seen God’s favor and grace the more I squash them just a little bit more.

So, that’s what I wanted to talk about today y’all. I don’t really have much more to say, but can I challenge you my Cake Community? I believe you have a dream inside you, too. It probably looks and sounds way different than mine, but it’s in there. CHASE IT. DO IT. Know why I was so miserable in my first job? Know why I spent the next couple years fighting off lies in my head because of how low I got? My heart felt sick because my dreams had been squashed. They were tucked under the rug of “not practical”. (Proverbs 13:12) I love The MSG translation of that verse! It says “Unrelenting disappointment leaves you heartsick, but a sudden good break can turn life around.” God isn’t a God of practical though, you guys. He’s the God of big, massive, and unthinkable.

Ask God where that break is waiting, like Proverbs mentions, and squash whatever is holding you back from running straight through it. Thank you, all of you, for being in my life. Thank you for being part of fulfilling the dream in my heart. Thank you for reading my posts, caring for my family, double tapping a pic, sharing about The Cake, and all the things. Thank you.

xoxo,

Han