Hydrogen Peroxide

I shared about a month ago that life as I know it was changing drastically, and basically at the snap of my doctor’s fingers. I went to a crazy scientist doctor who made sense of my entire life in about an hour, and he also made me cut out everything good in life in exchange for a diet of meat and veggies.

Listen here, my blog is called The Cake, I have a massive sweet tooth. Cutting out sweets cold turkey has been anything but easy. I have cheated twice, all in the first week, and haven’t since. I indulged in Pacuigo gelato and queso. It was bad news bears and I swore to not do that again, because both the guilt and the stomach ache accompanied with these decisions just wasn’t worth it. Cutting out carbs, pastas (even the gluten free I have been on for 4 years!!), not easy. I have been on this “diet” for about a month, and I thought I would share an update mostly because you have asked for one. First off, I want to say  THANk YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, and I wish I could hug and kiss each and every one of you. The emails, comments, support, and questions I have received over the last month have been overwhelming. To the ladies in my church community who have loved on me so closely, asked me how I am so genuinely, and sent me home with bags of vitamins and supplements, you are all such gifts. The best part about sharing my story has been the numerous people I have been able to send to my crazy scientist doctor! I always share my stories and details about Paul’s and my life, because I know it can help SOMEBODY. What I wasn’t expecting was for so many of you to be in a situation, like mine, of not knowing what kind of doctor to see and feeling hopeless. It has been the greatest joy to respond to your emails and comments, helping you find doctors in your own cities with similar practices as my crazy scientist doctor, or sending you to my own.

For an update,

Warning: I think actually when you start a detox, you get sicker before you get better. My first month has been extremely hard on my body. I have experienced more fatigue and more overall pain than before this detox. And, I have experienced fits of insomnia again, which I don’t understand considering the fatigue I have. (I woke up at 4:45 today, wiiiide awake so I got up to take on my day rather than just laying there in bed.) I often feel as though I am on the verge of the flu, you know that overall achey feeling you get when you’re sick? I have also experienced some vertigo. I have told people that it must be like when you put hydrogen peroxide on a wound. Before the wound gets better, the hydrogen peroxide burns and stings, but it’s for your own good. I am waiting for the “hydrogen peroxide” stage to be over. But, mind you, we have 24 years worth of reversing to do, so progress will be slow, things will take a long time. But, like the bubbling of the peroxide on the cut, I know something is changing, something is healing.

You have asked me what I am eating…

and some days I would like to know the answer to this question myself. HA. I think some of you fear I will wither away to nothing before this is all over, but I can assure you I am eating. And a lot of it, just whatever I can get my hands on. The Morrison household has taken to A LOT OF MEAT. As if we didn’t eat meat for each meal already, I mean literally, we cook whole massive steaks, and I am eating large portions of them. I eat a lot of chicken, a lot of broccoli, a lot of cucumbers with avocado oil and onion. I eat coconut butter straight from the jar, and I have allowed myself to eat a little coconut almond butter daily. (I don’t know if I am supposed to technically, but I needed SOMETHING.) The first week was the worst. I was hangry, frustrated, and never full no matter how much I ate. Prepare yourself for week one, drink lots of water, and pray a whole lot. Overall, our meals don’t look a whole lot different than they were before, but the portions are larger because my snacking options have dwindled. Because I can’t eat toast, I can’t eat pasta, I can’t eat any filler foods in my meals, I rely solely on a whooooole lot of veggies and meat to fill me.

The best part about this,

this past month has been one of the most spiritually filling months I have had in a long time. It’s funny how our prayer life and awareness of how much we truly need to rely on the Lord for absolutely everything in our lives comes about when we are in seasons like my “hydrogen peroxide” one. Every morning I pray for the Lord to give me energy and to help me be aware and present in my day. I pray for joy. I pray for my relationships that have been put on the back burner the last few years. I pray for the little things, I pray for the big. Constant dialogue is what my prayer life is like lately, and I don’t hate it one bit. I feel like my faith was refreshed, and like I am in high school again. My prayer life is constant and crisp, like my morning drives to school when I was 17. Talking out loud, windows down, rolling through the back roads of the hill country to dance practice in the pitch black morning chatting with Jesus, telling him the deepest desires of my heart. I feel that sense of need and longing I did when I was a teenager, learning what it meant to be in a relationship with God (don’t hear me say that like the weird “I am dating Jesus” thing), I mean like father daughter. Like leaning on a crutch with a broken foot, I have had to lean on God for absolutely everything when I would usually have a tendency of straying or figuring it out for myself. I am thankful for this season of life, and I am expectant for what I will learn next.

I am so grateful for ALL OF YOU. I love sharing life and walking alongside you in it (as best the internet allows us). I love hearing from you. I love being part of your mornings. I love helping in any way I can. Thanks for following The Cake.

Infinite x’s + o’s- Han