Life

Picking Battles

January 25, 2017

I have mentioned this before, but Paul and I are definitely not that sweet couple who doesn’t ever fight. And actually, we fight more than any other couple I know. I used to feel a lot of shame for this and I would question what was wrong with us. Why can’t we be perfect and cute like everyone else on social media. Ohhhh the comparison game. Get out of it RIGHT NOW- not worth it. Everyone has something. We are both stubborn, full of fire & fight, passionate, and strong willed. Daddy didn’t raise no passive lady, that’s for sure… but sometimes I wish I just was a little less opinionated. Can I get an amen? 😉

First off, if this resonates with you- allow me to say ‘congratulations, you’re not alone in this!’ Second, I believe Paul and I have gotten a lot better the last three years of marriage and nearly 6 years of being together. Third, fighting isn’t a bad thing, but how we choose to disagree is everything.

When we were told through dating and into engagement “choose your battles”, it started to get redundant and even a little meaningless. What the heck does that even mean? Sure, yeah… pick your battles. As if we can control what does and doesn’t upset us…. That’s exactly what I want to speak into. We don’t always get to control what does and doesn’t upset us. Or, if we are super honest, we NEVER control what initially does or doesn’t upset us. But, the more we dig into Jesus and ask to love more like him, the better our responses to disagreement get.

Dare I even say, less often?

When I am made aware of petty expectations I can have for Paul- or people in my life in general- I ask for God to take away the care I have about such menial things. Do I always rock at this? Heck no. Do I often say something when I wish I didn’t? Yes… But the more I pray to not care, the more I can feel the weight of stupid burdens lift off my shoulders.

Picking your battles means biting your tongue AND not letting your spouse know you’re biting your tongue. “This really makes me mad, but I am not going to fight with you about it” doesn’t count as picking your battles. (It took me about two years to learn this.) In graciously and patiently picking your battles, ask God to change your heart entirely about things that shouldn’t matter and for him to open your eyes to what does.

Ask yourself, “Is what I am upset about really just an issue with something intruding on my personal comfort zone?” Oy, that question might be one that stings a little. Because, let’s be real, shoes in the floor isn’t a sin… my response to them ruining my comfort zone and clean home is what often is.

But, other times we are called in love to speak life into dead situations and paths that lead to destruction.

Galatians 6 speaks to gently correcting without selfish desires. When we approach our spouse with a humble heart, truly wanting to push them toward being more like Christ (not just to keep our house clean), then it’s a battle worth taking on with your spouse. I am just gonna lay it out there, Paul is WAY better at picking battles than I am.

“Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently. But watch yourselves, or you also may be tempted.” 6:1

Gently restore- I love this wording. This means when picking our battles, ask yourself the question “Is what I want to enter into battle about something that is sinful or causing harm to my spouse and/or others in their life? … Is what I am bothered about by them something that is harming their soul and in need of restoration?”

This verse means not only “be careful”- as in make sure you don’t get caught in the same sin, which is what I think most of us register that as- but it means also simply be careful not to be sucked down to sin in order to be heard. We are called to approach the confrontation with a humble and gentle heart. If we approach it in anger, then it’s a lost cause from the start. I am the WORST at blowing up. I hold things in, think of all the ideal situations and act out my responses in my head that I want to give, and then in the role play… I burst. Communication, openness, honesty, and humility are the key to healthy arguments and confrontation.

Taking this further,

this isn’t just applicable in marriage. (Obviously, Paul the apostle wrote it and was never married.) It’s applicable to relationships in general. Social media doesn’t count as a tool for “restoration”, hate to break it to you. It means when we want to be heard, instead of posting that rant on Facebook or passive aggressive post, we are quiet. We seek out understanding one on one. We gently look to sharpen each other. If you’re offended by correction, then perhaps you ought to take a step back to look at why.

Whether married, dating, single, a best friend, a daughter, a son… whatever it is, we have to decide daily what battles we want to take on. Approach them gently, whatever it is you might be facing.

Love y’all. SO much. Have a happy Wednesday evening. 😉 I have had… a day to say the least, and I have had to gently approach situation after situation. (All while silently flipping out- but that is beside the point haha.) God is constantly working my heart, refining me, shaping me, and molding me into the woman he has called me to be. The process will never end. I am real thankful for that bit of truth.

xoxo- Han

You can grab my tee from The Cake Shop!

All Photos Taken by Cottonwood Road Photography For The Cake by Hannah

My Simplified Planner

January 10, 2017

I have learned in my adult life that I am not as organized as I always thought I was. In fact, I am scatterbrained, and despite my great efforts to remember things and keep track of sticky notes all over the house… that’s just not a great way to organize life.

My life got to the point my desk looked like annotations from high school lit. You know what I mean?

So last year, I decided it was my year to really get things together. It was time to grow up, stop writing my life on sticky notes, and (most importantly) I was going to make our marriage a whole lot more functional with my end being much more put together. Just being honest! We would literally make plans, and I would have completely spaced until the day before that I have something else at the same time. We haven’t had to cancel on anybody we love last minute because of MY scatterbrain in the last year. PRAISES.

So, after lots of research, I decided to purchase the Simplified Planner by Emily Ley. It seemed like the best way to organize my day to day. It is set up with the ‘always on the run’, busy woman in mind. For every month there is a monthly calendar layout for you to see a general overview, and then it is broken down to days with an hourly time schedule- sun up to sun down. I need help with organizing every hour of my day basically. And, y‘all, it was the best decision ever. I have owned so many planners over the years that barely ever got filled. That is not the case with this one. I wake up every single day and fill in everything from times to eat to tasks for the day, and I ALWAYS write in obligations and commitments the second they are confirmed.

If you are married- Paul and I share a calendar on the computer also, and we add things to it for each other (it’s color coded!). It’s so that we know things we need to be at together, AND so that we know when and where each other are at. If the calendar says I have a meeting at 2 PM with so and so, Paul knows not to call me and he knows that is something he can have intentional conversation about over dinner later.

How I Stay On Top of Things

1. Write out EVERYTHING- write out when you have your quiet time, workout time, eating time, tasks for the day, places to be that day, and goals to accomplish for the day. If it’s not in the planner, it likely won’t happen.

2. Every morning I do my quiet time, and then I do the above. I sit on my sofa, drink my coffee, see what is in store for the day, and then add my tasks. It’s incredibly satisfying to write out my goals for the day. Often this will be orders I need to fulfill for The Cake Shop, what time I will take orders to USPS, people I need to email, brands I want to reach out to/respond to, posts to edit and write, etc.

3. At the end of the day, if there are any tasks I didn’t complete, I circle them and put an arrow to the next day. I know in the morning those are my #1 priorities to do that day.

4. In the notes section of my day, I put what we are having for dinner & when to put out any meat that might need to defrost. I also keep running lists of things I want to accomplish for that month, quarter, and year. It keeps me focused and determined to rewrite them every day! I keep tee shirt ideas, phrases I think of, etc. down in the notes section, too.

5. The monthly overview of my calendar is just as important as the daily. Anytime somebody asks me to hang out or do something, I go to my monthly overview to see how filled it is. If I get overwhelmed by how much is filled in, then I suggest a date in a few weeks that will be less full and at which I will be more present/less frantic. Basically, using my “yes” wisely. (This has taken me a long time to master.)

I hope this helps you as you get everything together for the upcoming year. You’ve got this! Don’t go another year feeling like a chicken with her head cut off. This planner is seriously the answer to your problems. Plus… come on… they’re so pretty!

xoxo- Han

All photos by Cottonwood Road Photography for The Cake by Hannah

My Top 3 Resolutions with Aerie

January 7, 2017

This post was originally shot for and posted to Aerie as an ad sponsored by Aerie. #aerieREAL #AeriePartner

I teamed up with Aerie to share my top 3 resolutions for 2017 & they are as follows:

1. Live life at a slower pace

2. Bake more

3. Take myself less seriously

I feel like none of these are significantly life changing resolutions… but rather they are going to change how I do life. I am sick of living that fast paced, go go go, on to the next thing kind of lifestyle. It’s exhausting, and frankly is the saddest way I can imagine living. I miss so much when I run from one thing to the next. My focus is from point A to point B, but I miss all the in between. The angst gets real when I live fast paced, and the loneliness increases without even realizing it. You know what I mean?

I want to bake more. I have always wanted to be a good baker, that person who can whip up the best chocolate chip cookies by memory in a jiffy. But, that’s just never been me. Quite the opposite, I am that kid who made cookies often simply because I wanted the dough to nibble on (and it showed). I once made cookies with my best friend in the 4th grade, and I realized we were out of All Purpose Flour at the house too late… No matter. We still made the cookies, put them in the oven, and ran back into the kitchen five minutes later to a smoking oven with cookie dough dripping off the sides of the pizza stone and onto the bottom of the oven…

Again, I have never been a baker. I will never claim to be. I love to cook, but I want to take my baking skills from zero to at least notable this year. My sister is the real baker in the family, though. She always has been, and I tell you what, she is AMAZING. Emi made my wedding cake, and it was the talk of the wedding. SO YUMMY. She started baking fully homemade from scratch loaves of bread for our family when she was 12. I am not kidding. I will never hang with her skills, and I am totally 100% A-OKAY with that!

I asked for It’s a Pleasure for Christmas (it caught my eye at Anthropologie because of how pretty it was!). After I picked it up though, I realized this book was practically made for me. It’s gluten and dairy free sweets… THAT’S RIGHT. Ever since I got diagnosed with all my crazy allergies this past year, I thought maybe my dream of being a baker was never going to happen. It’s pretty hard to master specialty recipes for people like me… but I have no excuses anymore. I am tackling this book! I will keep you posted on my… progress. 😉

Taking myself less seriously… ugh can I get an amen? I think half my problems with anxiety come from the simple fact I care too much about what people are thinking of me. I can dissect a conversation in my mind for hours at night, and even with a clear conscience, I can convince myself of just about anything when I think about it too long. If I just cared less and had more fun in the process, though, life would be a lot more enjoyable and lived less in fear. I have found myself praying, “Help me care less, love more, and work hard always. Remind me that you are the only person who can create favor and success.” And then, I imagine me tossing my hands up in the air like I am throwing something haha. I promise… it works.

Cheers to being fearless this year!

I will be tackling the new year in these silk lounge bottoms because HELLO, they are the most comfy things ever. Also, Paul thinks they are highly attractive, soooo that’s a major bonus. I love the detail on this soft sweater- Check out the back! This hot pink bralette underneath definitely makes me feel on top of the world, too. I literally don’t wear anything but my Aerie bralettes anymore. I have 5 different ones I interchange. (I don’t wear my VS like… ever.)

My favorite part about Aerie is their mantra for life. Be real and confident in who you are. That is definitely a brand I can get behind, and it’s even better when their product is bomb.

Happy New Year, friendsies! What are YOUR top three resolutions? I would love to hear!

xoxo- Han

PSSSSS: The brand new first collection for 2017 of The Cake Shop is COMING SO SOON. I am SO giddy about it. I cannot wait to show you these two new designs, and then… of course… there is a couple of other items on the horizon. Thank y’all for your love and support, and let’s spread kindness like buttercream frosting in 2017. #LoveLikeCake

All photos by Cottonwood Road Photography for The Cake by Hannah

Looking Back with Gratitude, Looking Ahead with Anticipation

December 27, 2016

2016 was unpredictable, exciting, fulfilling, satisfying, adventurous, and so much more.

The days after Christmas are quiet and slow, a complete change of pace from the month and a half before of “the holiday season”. The days after Christmas are a juxtaposition of being both depressing and joyful. I hate taking down Christmas decorations, but I look forward to setting goals for the days to come and reflecting on the year past. If I had to pick, I think I would actually put this past year as a top 5 favorite years to date. Paul and I have so much to be grateful for every single year. We truly do have so much to be thankful for, and I know more often than not… we take that for granted. But there was just something different about this year, and I could feel it. I saw it, and I was so aware of it. We made strides in our careers, moved forward with confidence in our marriage, made hard decisions, encouraged big changes, and continued to build the foundation to our future home & family.

We celebrated more, fought less, and laughed a lot.

So much happened this year, and it was all so thrilling. I feel like Paul and I were cheerleaders for each other, high kicking with pom-poms from the sidelines… okay, maybe just me in that specific mental picture… but you get the idea. It is so fun to be married young and grow up together. So many say we are crazy, a minority of people naive enough to believe we could actually find someone we want to be with forever at 19 years old, and that the chances of staying with someone when you get married at 21 are not high. You won’t “find yourself”, your independence is stripped of you, and you will never fully thrive as an individual… yet, I have found marriage to be quite the contrary. I believe in marriage, and I believe that two hearts beating with the same fire is stronger together than separated. I believe in the sanctity of marriage, I believe in the covenant. I believe it’s more than the “old fashioned way” to do things, but truly what we are called to do if we find someone we love and want to be with. And listen, marriage isn’t the end all, be all. It really isn’t. Paul says in the bible that we are better off NOT married. (There’s a lot of meat to why he says that.) But, should we find someone our hearts beat with passion for, we are better together than apart. Marriage isn’t everything. If your timeline doesn’t look quite like you always thought it would, I promise that life is just as full for you. Don’t let the world tell you something is “off” if you aren’t married by age ______. Frankly, as someone who got a lot of crap for getting married at 21… it feels a little like “danged if you do, danged if you don’t.”

I don’t know why I just went off on that tangent, but I assume it’s because someone out there needed to hear that. So, soak that in. Love where you’re at, and praise God in all things. We all have things that we definitely didn’t imagine would be the way they ended up panning out. That’s life. And I choose to praise Him still.

Just the other night during date night while we were driving around looking at Christmas lights, Paul said he loved growing up with me. That line melted my heart. It was also kind of funny coming from someone who is about to turn 27… but it’s so true. We met when we were just babies. We both are changing constantly, taking risks and leaping for the next goals. But, how fun to do that with your best friend by your side? For better or for worse. We get to choose daily to keep loving the person our spouse is morphing into, supporting them and fighting for their dreams with them. Paul and I are both entrepreneurs at heart. We have to force ourself to stop dreaming up new business ideas and building things. One of my Christmas gifts on Christmas morning sent me into a whole new idea for The Cake Shop, and we started coming up with plans for it over our Christmas morning coffee, snuggled up on the love seat. (It’s kind of a problem… ha) But I couldn’t have asked for someone better to walk through life with me. He is truly the best support system, and believes in me way more than I do myself.

If you would have told me this time last year that I would finally start The Cake Shop for The Cake by Hannah in 2016… I really don’t think I would have believed it. I would certainly hope for it, but probably not see it as a reality. The Cake Shop has been a dream of mine since two Christmases ago when I first launched my blog. I really wanted to launch it WITH The Cake Shop, but God’s timing to be able to was way better than my own. So, here I sit almost two months since launch, and completely blown away by all of your support. I thought surely the only people who would be my first customers would be family and friends, but you all have shown me I was so wrong. I cannot say enough how grateful I am for each and every one of you. You have truly made my dreams come true- to create community and positivity in my own little corner of the internet. Together we can make a movement, change the world, and #LoveLikeCake. We can spread goodness across the earth through everything we do. We can spread kindness like buttercream frosting, thick & generously, without reserve.

2016 I tackled things I have been so afraid of for so many years, and all the while I battled the worst anxiety I have ever had in my entire life. Funny how that works. I entered back into giftings of mine I never thought I would pursue again, and I look forward to all that 2017 has to offer specifically in that arena. I stood up for myself in ways I never thought I could, I battled lies in my head about who I am and what I am worth. Most importantly, I laughed a lot, danced in the kitchen more, and stopped taking myself so seriously all the time. (I am still trying to get better at that.)

I am so grateful for you all, and I can’t stinking wait to show you what all I have been dreaming up for 2017. For The Cake Shop, it’s gonna be all new products, new types of items… and some seriously amazing tees and clothing items. You made the soft launch of my shop better than I could have ever hoped for. I wish I could bear hug each and every one of you. The launch of my site was way less than perfect… like, a semi disaster. And STILL you poured in your love and support, and sent me sweet messages. AND, the best part, you bought my product and loved it. The best thing ever has been watching you post photos in your tees and sweatshirts. I have cried multiple times at your posts, just being blown away that ANYBODY would care to join me in being kind and support what I am doing other than maybe my mom. That ANYBODY would care to follow my life, my wardrobe, my marriage, and my struggles… like, that is crazzzzaaaaay but I am so freaking thankful. As I have said so many times, I pray that you never just see me in anything I do. I hope you see that what I love, talk about, and even wear!- it’s all a reflection of how good the God is that I believe in, know personally, and see work in my life daily.

As for the rest of 2017, there is so much to be excited for. Our dreams of buying a house were set back (that was on our list for 2016), but we are believing in being debt free for 2017, and purchasing our first home. I can’t wait to see what all God has for us. What all we will accomplish and get to cheer one another on in.

Thank you (again), every single one of you. Thank you for following The Cake by Hannah, for reading my posts, and for being such encouraging people. I am forever grateful.

Infinite x’s + o’s- Han

All photos by Cottonwood Road Photography for The Cake by Hannah

You can shop this ADORABLE ensemble at Landry Kate. The long duster and green peplum top are both from there. I am so obsessed with both. This cup of coffee is from my favorite little coffee shop on the Mckinney Square, Snug. (They have the BEST daily flavored drip!)

#TheCakeatKate

How To Choose Joy

December 19, 2016

For his anger lasts only a moment, but his favor lasts a lifetime; weeping may stay for the night, but joy comes in the morning. -Psalm 30:5

I love this verse. It’s one of those “coffee cup” verses, if you will, but there is a reason it’s “cliche.” I hate that bible verses can even be labeled as “cliche”, because they wouldn’t be considered so if people didn’t use them inappropriately, out of context, or toss them around without any heart or meaning behind them. But, y’all, this verse is huge. It’s the epitome of what joy and grace is. The Message version, which is a paraphrase of the Bible, says it like this:

“All you saints! Sing your hearts out to God!
    Thank him to his face!
He gets angry once in a while, but across
    a lifetime there is only love.
The nights of crying your eyes out
    give way to days of laughter.”

Mornings in general are my favorite thing in the world. It’s my favorite time of day, because I get to set my goals for the day, pray, and choose to either make it a good day or a bad day. And, if I don’t get my full morning routine… my whole day is completely off. I know some of you right now are thinking, “ew, you’re one of those”- but stick with me! 😉

But seriously, mornings are the best and this verse even says so! Joy comes in the morning, even when the night is dark, even when we cry our eyes out, God shows up. He is there in the darkness, and the best news ever is that MORNING ALWAYS COMES. We get to rejoice in the truth that, as Christians, we can make mistakes, fall short (hello, this happens daily), and do things that hurt God’s heart, but he never leaves or forsakes us. We get to laugh at the days ahead, even in our hurt and humanity, because of how good God is. CAN I GET AN AMEN.

Joy is a choice. It’s always accessible to you, but you have to grab it to have. Joy is easy to access when we realize it’s there, but it’s also just as easy to forget about. And, unfortunately, this is something we know all too well. I am so quick to forget how good my God is. I get so hyper focused on where I am failing, or falling short, or not living up to my expectations, or not as in shape as I want to be no matter how hard I try for that 6 pack, or I don’t have all the shoes I want because of that budget life… y’all the list continues… but God tells me I am perfect as is. That this world is but a breath, and it will pass. So, with that, don’t you think that whatever it is you’re going through shall pass, too?

Praises.

I am always embarrassed when I get asked how I am so “happy” all the time, because I feel like it’s a slight at telling me I am that obnoxious person who is TOO happy. But, in all seriousness I am also shocked when people ask me this, because I know the inner workings of my heart. When my mind speaks louder than my heart, when emotions take hold of my thoughts, they tell me life is a raging storm, that I am a mess, that I am mediocre at everything I do… just being real here for y’all. But, because I am marked by the joy of Christ, even in my messiness, even in the dark inner workings of my heart… God makes himself known. If that’s not a testament to how much bigger God is than all we face, and how he can use ANYBODY to spread his message… then I don’t know what will. I am a frazzled, frantic, anxious mess way more than I would like to admit… but God makes himself known NOT because I am the bomb. Definitely not. But, it’s because I am chosen, his daughter, and he says to me “Hannah, even when you mess up, even when you let anxiety speak louder than what you know to be true, I love you. I use you for MY works and for MY glory.”

MIND.BLOWN.

I am so underserving of God’s grace. I feel like at this point he sitting up there shaking his head saying, “Really? You’re freaking out again? You’re questioning your worth… again? Wasn’t it enough I sent Jesus to prove how much you are worth?” BOOM. Ouch. Y’all, anxiety is my biggest struggle. I never thought I would have to say that… like, ever. It just happens, and if you’ve ever struggled with anxiety you can cope with me when I say that no matter how much you try to rationalize it or make it better… there’s not a whole lot you can do. But pray. And I have never felt closer to the Lord because of it. Even in my brokenness, he makes me whole. Because I strive for joy, not even nailing it but merely striving for it, He says “you are equipped and able to do my works.”

Choosing joy won’t happen easily sometimes. That doesn’t make you a bad Christian or a bad person, haha. It’s pretty normal, because we are human and we are bent to run from God. But don’t run, y’all. Every time you fall, run right back to the start. I cannot express how deeply God loves you and how much better it is to rest in knowing he is in control.

How to Find Joy

Live a prayerful life. The more you pray, the easier it is to see Christ in all things.

Be thankful. Thank him to his face, Psalms said! Be sure to recognize the things you DO have and thank him for it.

Find quiet space in your day. (I am the worst at this!) Be still, read, turn things off for at least 15 minutes. Do whatever it takes to have moments of rest and peace. No tv. No emails. Nothing.

Read your Bible. Guys, if reading the bible is a struggle for you, consider reading The Message version alongside your translation. Sometimes I just read The Message for encouragement. Like I mentioned above, it’s a paraphrase of the Bible, so it’s not the original text, but it’s translated by someone who captured the heart of the wording in the original text and it’s easier to digest.

Don’t compare. It’s so much easier said than done, but it’s true when it is said that comparison is the greatest thief of joy. This goes back to having a grateful heart.

Know what works for you…. let me elaborate. So, I know that I am a home body. I love to be home, I love being curled up with my dog and a book, some cozy sweatpants, and the same movie I watch 10 times a week way more than going out. Now, this can get me in trouble, because I could literally do this every day of my life and be content, but God calls us to live in community. So, it won’t be fully satisfying. BUT, I say this because I know that if I try to live a “yes” life that I go hang out with people all the time, go to every event I am invited to, or WHATEVER it might be, then not only will it not last long but it will end badly. I will burn out and I know all too well that lifestyle isn’t for me. And, I have to be OKAY with that.

I love y’all so much. You are seen, heard, and loved so much more by God. I hope you hear that and own it.

Merry Christmas

xoxo- Han

“Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently. But watch yourselves, or you also may be tempted.” 6:1

Taking this further,

My life got to the point my desk looked like annotations from high school lit. You know what I mean?

How I Stay On Top of Things

2016 was unpredictable, exciting, fulfilling, satisfying, adventurous, and so much more.

LET’S GET SOCIAL