Blog

Our Go-to Healthy Meals & Items

February 24, 2017

Something I get asked a lot is “What do you eat?” Fair enough, because I do have a lot of food restrictions! If you’ve followed me for a little while now, you know that last summer I saw a bio-magnetic doctor (a little different than usual… haha) and it changed my life. I found out reasons for a lot of issues and sickness I have had my whole life, and things have slowly but surely been getting better. A huge part of the healing for me has been changing my diet up even more than I did 4 years ago when I was told not to eat gluten.

The state of your gut is seriously going to dictate how the rest of your body is.

So what are my go-to foods and snacks? I have picked my top 5 for you below!

1. Dark meat chicken (thighs and drumsticks): Listen, dark chicken meat has gotten the short end of the stick in nutrition, but I am here to say BUMP THAT. We eat thighs and drumsticks almost every single day in our house for lunch and/or dinner. It’s only 10 calories more per serving than white chicken breast, stores way better as left-overs (so for meal prep, etc., it’s much better), and it just tastes juicier and tastier. Ten calories more and significantly better? Yes please.

2. Boom Chicka Pop: This is my go-to afternoon snack. I eat a serving of it for just 120 calories, and it satisfies my sweet tooth around 2 PM every day. I love the kettle corn flavor and when I am feeling real adventurous, I like to add some m&m’s.

3. Sweet Potato “Chips”: We eat sweet potato almost every single night in some form or fashion. But, our favorite way to prepare them is in quarter inch slices laid in a pan with coconut oil dripped over the top, baked at 425 degrees, and for about 20 minutes. I put salt, pepper, and cayanne pepper for a yummy flavor! (The thinner you make them, the crunchier they’ll be!)

4. Brussel Sprouts: Brussels are another staple for us, but our favorite way to prep them is sliced in half with coconut oil in the pan. Add salt, pepper, and some honey over the top, and you sizzle them until soft. (Keep at medium heat.)

5. Banana “Pancakes”: One of our favorite go-to breakfasts is SO simple and SO easy. It’s one banana per person + 2 eggs, and a dash of cinnamon. Mix well until frothy, and pour like batter into an oiled skillet (again… we use coconut for EVERYTHING.) Give about a minute on each side, and serve with a dollop of peanut butter and/or drizzle of honey. SO TASTY.

We cook just about every single meal in our house. Both for budgetary reasons and simply because it’s a lot easier to eat at home than go out to eat with so many restrictions. Lunch Tip: Every week, we do a crockpot of chicken with coconut oil and salt & pepper to keep in the fridge to pair with some kind of veggie. It’s easy for grab and go with our busy life, and it keeps us from munching or splurging on foods we would rather not.

Then, of course, my go-to for keeping healthy and in shape is at the barre.

Healthy eating paired with regular workouts is so key to overall health. You will never regret treating yourself to an hour at the gym, or in my case at Pure Barre. I am so grateful for my community at Pure Barre, and I would love to see you there with me! This March they’re doing a March Madness challenge- what better time to join?!

Love y’all! Happy Friday, and happy healthy eating!

xoxo- Hannah

Respect & Security

February 15, 2017

There are two things over the last three years that Paul and I have learned firsthand are the key to success in communication (and less fights) in our marriage. We can pretty much narrow down to these two things in any fight as the root of our frustration.

For Paul, it’s respect (or lack of). For me, it’s the need for security.

If you are married, engaged, or have ever been in any type of relationship with a person… perhaps you can connect on this. Most men’s greatest source of frustration in a relationship is feeling disrespected, and as it should be. Men have been placed as the head of the household, as leaders, and when we do anything but empower them… there’s bound to be frustration. As women, we flourish most when we feel secure, stable, provided for, and loved gently. When I don’t feel secure, be it finances, health, or relationally, I feel out of whack.

Knowing these two things about us, though, changes the way we approach confrontation. How can I respectfully tell Paul how I feel? How can I, while honoring who Paul is, tell him my frustrations. How can Paul come to me gently to correct me that doesn’t knock me off my feet, but rather stands me up a little straighter? How can Paul make me feel fought for?

When we don’t keep these things in mind is when our fights can go from 0 to 100 in .2 seconds. That’s when our tiny tiffs turn into yelling matches. We know just what to say to build each other up and just what to say to destroy, and it spirals fast.

Know your spouse. Know their strengths, know their weaknesses. Love what makes them thrive, and approach with compassion what you know hurts them the most. You can use this knowledge to either benefit or to hurt them more, so choose to not use it to harm. In anger, it’s so easy to poke and prod the things we know will cut the deepest. It’s instant icky satisfaction. But, know that in doing this it will cause long term damage that a quick, well-spoken confrontation wouldn’t.

So as we step into year 4 today (HOW?!?!), we named our past year as the year of stability. Which, in my need for security, has made year 3 not only my favorite year of marriage to date but one of my most favorite years of life to date. Funny how that works, huh? Year 1 was learning, year 2 was growth. And with year 3, the gears starting meshing together. We started moving as a unit together, career changes and moves helped us work together in a way the first two years just simply didn’t allow for.

I am ready to hit the ground running this year. I told Paul this morning, “Oh my gosh, year 4, we are entering into senior year!” 😉

Thanks for following along our life, our marriage, our joy and our struggles… everything. You guys truly are the best. I am so thankful for all of you. Thank you for welcoming me into your lives through this internet thing.

xoxo- Han

How amazing is this leopard tunic from Landry Kate? They have just stocked up for Spring and you DO NOT WANT TO MISS IT.

Shop online or, if you’re local, stop by the store.

All photos by Cottonwood Road Photography for The Cake by Hannah

Our Story

February 12, 2017

It’s pretty hard to believe that in just a couple of days Paul and I are celebrating 3 years of marriage. Did you know that 20% of marriages that will end in divorce will do so before the 5th anniversary? That’s a shocking statistic. Plus, the statistic skyrockets if you get married in your early 20’s (which we did.) We have had all odds fighting against us. And, to be honest, Paul’s and my first few years of marriage were the classic stories of “newlyweds” you so often hear about. I wish I could say we were one of those couples that never fought and the honeymoon phase never phased out… but our honeymoon phase went away week 1 back from the honeymoon. I have literally thrown a remote at Paul, locked him out of the bedroom, and wailed in the bathtub multiple times because there was nowhere else in the apartment to cry at. (Living in a loft our first 6 months of marriage was… testing. God is hilarious.) 😉 In our first three years, we have had the same two or three fights on cycle and it can feel hopeless at times. Will we ever come to healing or a healthy resolution over _______?

(I am writing a whole piece on some of this for those of you who asked me to re-cap the XO Conference!)

Looking back at the last three years, if we didn’t have wise counsel and Jesus at our core, we could have very well been part of that divorce statistic. Just being real- I can see how it could be easy to walk away. I am not saying I ever would, I am just saying I can see why it’s such a high number. It’s hard work marrying someone, and when things get frustrating or you’re having the same fight for the 10th time that week… it’d be so much easier to say you’re out. But that’s when reminding yourself that love is a choice is so imperative. No marriage runs on emotion forever- not one. We all have to daily wake up and say, “I choose you still.”

Anyways, time flies and it sort of scares me, yet I am hopeful and excited about what is to come. Sometimes I do wish we could go back to when I was barely 19 years old and had just met Paul. I was mesmerized by him in a way I had never known before, and I still get butterflies thinking about those first few interactions we ever had with one another. We get asked “our story” a lot, so I thought in the spirit of Valentines Day and wedding anniversary, I would share the quick(ish) version of it and give some nuggets of encouragement.

First off, something fun to know about my own story that points back to Jesus and how real God is:

I literally asked God at a young age to make me sick with every boy I dated who wasn’t my husband until I met the person God wanted me to marry. (I was a very strange child.) And, in true God fashion, he answered my prayer very literally (even when I fought it!). Paul is the only boy I didn’t get sick to my stomach from, and he was my first actual relationship. Up until Paul, I had never been able to hold a relationship for more than a few weeks at a time, because I never liked being tied down and I literally got nauseous and anxious every time “girl friend” was given to me. Yet, I “dated” the same few guys off on all throughout high school. I liked being liked. I am serious… it was very complicated and hurtful. Number one piece of advice I have for people dating: Don’t ever force yourself to date people, no matter how great they are! You’re both going to get hurt in it.

In a culture that says “if you’re not dating, something is wrong with you”, it’s easy to convince yourself that maybe it’ll start to mesh together after a while. But, truth is, if you are having to force yourself at all, then it’s likely not it for you. I often tell myself I hope I run into those few people so I can apologize one day for how terrible I was to them.

Enter Paul

All that to say, it was a Sunday night at the 7 PM service and I made my way with my friend Ryan to our usual spot before service. As we walked up to our seats, there was a long line of boys to which Ryan began to freak out at as he ran up to hug them all. He knew this long line of good looking men who were all roommates (score), and I particularly got a good look at the blonde with the hoodie on over his head who seemed the least interested in meeting me on the end of the row. After service we hadn’t even made it out the door before I started asking Ryan about the Paul guy with the hoodie.

Through a series of events, Paul’s roommates told Ryan that Paul wouldn’t stop talking about me to which Ry spilled the beans I couldn’t stop asking about Paul. This was the start a few week long chase. Every week I went to church knowing I would get to see Paul the hoodie boy, and I would get to say hello to he and his friends. Finally, Paul -sort of- got my number for a Halloween party that didn’t actually happen because I couldn’t even make it. (This is a funny story, too, but I won’t tell it because it is too long.) I asked Paul a month later to go with me to my sorority formal to which he said yes and then TOOK BACK. Yeah, Paul denied going to my formal with me.

We hung out in groups for a couple of months, getting dinner and coffee and hanging out after church as often as possible. We finally went out for coffee in early December to share our stories with one another, and I knew quickly this guy was going to be my husband. I came home and told my roommates I was going to marry Paul. (We weren’t even officially dating!) Finally, in January, Paul asked me to be his girlfriend. I said yes and didn’t drive home trying to think of ways to break up with him. So, I knew this had to be at least something special.

We broke up at one point, and got back together a couple months later after accidentally attending the same birthday dinner for a mutual friend. (Oops) I ended up being put in the chair next to Paul at dinner (another oops) and heard him talk all about things he was learning from being a counselor at a camp that summer. He basically said word for word every single thing I had prayed for him to grow in after we broke up.

I knew we were supposed to talk about that, and I knew this was still my husband. It had to be.

We met up one night at his house, played Mario Carts and built a couch fort, and I left knowing this was the real deal.

A few months later Paul proposed to me. My life with Paul has been a whirlwind. Far from perfect, but definitely the best experience I could imagine. There are certainly nights the both of us have laid in bed thinking, “My gosh, what did we get ourselves into?” But, there is always the moment we decide to kiss and make up. That’s love. It is never going to be easy, and it will always be a battle, but I believe in marriage very whole heartedly. The last three years I have grown more as a person than ever before, and all done with my hubby by my side. Not necessarily because I was married, but because I had a best friend cheering me on and challenging me. I suppose where I am getting at is the fact so many of us fear marriage anymore, because it could strip our independence, or take away our “freedom”, or maybe we will be that 20% who get divorced before 5 years…. blah blah blah. “I don’t want to marry him until I am established in my career.” Listen, I don’t mean to get harsh or super opinionated, but as someone who got married at 21 with nothing but everything in life to figure out, I can say very confidently that marriage doesn’t strip you of who you are- it pulls out more of you. Just like a best friend can do, it’s the same idea. We don’t put best friends on hold until we have a, b, and c figured out… so why put marriage in that box?

So what’s my advice in picking a spouse? What matters is finding someone who brings out MORE of the truest you. It’s that simple.

Marry someone who cheers you on in everything you’re doing. Someone who says they believe in you, drives with you to take OOTD pics (!!!), who notices your cute outfits but tells you you’re pretty the most when you have on a sweatshirt and no makeup. Someone who will take you to Braums at 9 PM because you desperately need it, and who will grab you lady products, wine, and chocolate without batting an eye. Someone who gives advice and leads you well while also giving you space. A man who sees your strength and grace as a woman who he has the joy of walking through life with (and visa versa). Someone who sees your business idea and says, “Let’s make it happen.” Someone who doesn’t fear your success, and WANTS you to succeed. Marriage doesn’t suck your independence out or lock you into “settled down” jail… a healthy marriage just encourages you more than ever before to flourish into all you’ve dreamed of being.

You don’t have to be married to flourish. Don’t read that wrong. I am saying that if marriage is on your mind, if you’re in a serious relationship but are scared to take that dive… don’t be. If you are with someone who loves you and believes in you, that doesn’t change once the marriage license is signed.

I love y’all BIG. My inbox is always open for questions. If you want to know how we did it, married so young, or what we fight the most about, or how we seek counsel… whatever you want to know, I want to answer to the best of my ability.

Love you.

xoxo- Han

All photos by Cottonwood Road Photography for The Cake by Hannah

Dress is from Skylar Belle Boutique

Perfect Love Casts Out All Fear

February 8, 2017

Grab this amazing dress here

I love Valentines Day. It’s a day to be intentionally reminded of my relationship with my husband, of my family and friendships I cherish so deeply, and of my greatest love, God. I love celebrating love, and I am so grateful to know how unconditionally I am loved by the people I hold dearest to me.

Yet,

I also know that, though a day to remind us of great things and eat chocolate without a care in the world, and receive cute Hello Kitty Valentines with lollipops on top, in some stages of life this holiday can be tough to face. Sometimes, the last thing we think we want to be reminded of is love. And, I get it. I don’t even mean just romantic love, but all relationships. Relationships are hard. Valentines Day day can feel sort of like rubbing salt in the already open wound. It can remind us of terrible relationships past, or maybe of the one the got away contrary to what we fought so hard for. Or, perhaps it reminds you of parents that got divorced, and there is the fear of that happening to you, too. Valentines Day can bring up a slew of emotions. But, it would seem that fear overwhelmingly takes a top spot.

Sure, I guess if you think about it, there is a lot to be afraid of in love.

Perhaps this is why God tells us to “guard our hearts” so intently in Proverbs, though, because “it is the wellspring of life.” Meaning that the state of our heart, what we fill it with and believe, will dictate how we view the world around us. It’s the spring from which everything flows. So, we have to view love well and put our hope in the right love in order to love others well. This doesn’t, however, mean to block out all chances of being hurt in love by never letting people in. Or, by falsely protecting our heart in love with other people. Relationships are great, and they certainly are fun, but that isn’t your identity and it’s not your heart’s protection. People are going to let you down. Neither of those scenarios are what “guard your heart” means. Guarding it means reminding it of its worth- the truth that God’s love conquers all and is above all else. Love definitely can be scary, but it’s worth it. It’s risky and you will absolutely end up hurt every now and then. No matter how much I love my husband, I will fail him. I am bent toward sin, I wear my sassy pants way more than I would like, and I can be sharp. I say stupid things I can ask for forgiveness from, but cannot ever take back fully. We are sinful creatures. My husband and I literally fought yesterday morning so loudly I was embarrassed to take Presley out for a walk, because I am certain all of our neighbors must have heard us.

Yeah, love can hurt. Even in a seemingly healthy marriage, love can deeply wound.

But, look at this quote from Four Loves by CS Lewis that actually quite literally changed my life during a break-up with Paul (yes, Paul and I broke up for a couple of months in dating!!):

“There is no safe investment. To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket—safe, dark, motionless, airless—it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. The alternative to tragedy, or at least to the risk of tragedy, is damnation. The only place outside of heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers and perturbations of love is hell.”

If we want to love others or receive love at all, we must open up ourselves to being okay with getting hurt. Otherwise, the only other way to remain without wound is to live in hell, be it hell on Earth or in the life, or should I say death, to come. This is where I got it wrong for so long. I shut people out in response to hurt I had experienced for so long. But, God created us to love lavishly in order to better know him. Anything else is less than what he has in store for you. We are called to community, and into friendships, and into relationships, because every single person can teach us about the character of God. And, consequently, when we get hurt, our relationships remind us there is only one perfect love, and we are called to seek after him above all other loves. See, God’s love will never fail us- unlike our friends, family, or spouses. God’s love is perfect. This is why the Bible says that “perfect love casts out all fear.” No other love can do this. But, when we are in relationship with God, knowing that perfect love personally, then we can love others fearlessly.

Then, especially so on our days we would rather not think about love because of hurt, those are the days to remind yourself of real love. God’s love. It will influence every other relationship you have.

You tracking with me?

We can love others because he first loved us. 1 John 4:19 (John likes to talk about love a lot.) We cannot fully love ourselves or others if we do not first recognize how much God loves us. Literally to death- that’s a big deal y’all. You’re deeply loved. Walk in that truth. Be fearless in your love of people. Pursue people wholeheartedly. Reflect the love of God that is fearless and bold, and find your identity in that perfect love. Not in anyone else’s. I can assure you, it’s not as good and that kind of love is only temporary.

So, wherever you find yourself this Valentines Day, whether in a new budding relationship, a solid foundation, or in solitude for the first time in a long time… whatever your situation, remind yourself of love that casts out all fear and let that dictate your other loves.

Know your worth.

xoxo- Han

All photos by Cottonwood Road Photography for The Cake by Hannah****

This dress is the most perfect LBD I have ever owned. I am in a small in these photos (I am 5’2 and a size 0) I was nervous that because it wasn’t specifically a petite fit that it would swallow me. BUT, as you can see, it didn’t! I am obsessed with dress and just thinking of anything I can wear it to- like my upcoming Valentines Day date or anniversary dinner! xoxo

Picking Battles

January 25, 2017

I have mentioned this before, but Paul and I are definitely not that sweet couple who doesn’t ever fight. And actually, we fight more than any other couple I know. I used to feel a lot of shame for this and I would question what was wrong with us. Why can’t we be perfect and cute like everyone else on social media. Ohhhh the comparison game. Get out of it RIGHT NOW- not worth it. Everyone has something. We are both stubborn, full of fire & fight, passionate, and strong willed. Daddy didn’t raise no passive lady, that’s for sure… but sometimes I wish I just was a little less opinionated. Can I get an amen? 😉

First off, if this resonates with you- allow me to say ‘congratulations, you’re not alone in this!’ Second, I believe Paul and I have gotten a lot better the last three years of marriage and nearly 6 years of being together. Third, fighting isn’t a bad thing, but how we choose to disagree is everything.

When we were told through dating and into engagement “choose your battles”, it started to get redundant and even a little meaningless. What the heck does that even mean? Sure, yeah… pick your battles. As if we can control what does and doesn’t upset us…. That’s exactly what I want to speak into. We don’t always get to control what does and doesn’t upset us. Or, if we are super honest, we NEVER control what initially does or doesn’t upset us. But, the more we dig into Jesus and ask to love more like him, the better our responses to disagreement get.

Dare I even say, less often?

When I am made aware of petty expectations I can have for Paul- or people in my life in general- I ask for God to take away the care I have about such menial things. Do I always rock at this? Heck no. Do I often say something when I wish I didn’t? Yes… But the more I pray to not care, the more I can feel the weight of stupid burdens lift off my shoulders.

Picking your battles means biting your tongue AND not letting your spouse know you’re biting your tongue. “This really makes me mad, but I am not going to fight with you about it” doesn’t count as picking your battles. (It took me about two years to learn this.) In graciously and patiently picking your battles, ask God to change your heart entirely about things that shouldn’t matter and for him to open your eyes to what does.

Ask yourself, “Is what I am upset about really just an issue with something intruding on my personal comfort zone?” Oy, that question might be one that stings a little. Because, let’s be real, shoes in the floor isn’t a sin… my response to them ruining my comfort zone and clean home is what often is.

But, other times we are called in love to speak life into dead situations and paths that lead to destruction.

Galatians 6 speaks to gently correcting without selfish desires. When we approach our spouse with a humble heart, truly wanting to push them toward being more like Christ (not just to keep our house clean), then it’s a battle worth taking on with your spouse. I am just gonna lay it out there, Paul is WAY better at picking battles than I am.

“Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently. But watch yourselves, or you also may be tempted.” 6:1

Gently restore- I love this wording. This means when picking our battles, ask yourself the question “Is what I want to enter into battle about something that is sinful or causing harm to my spouse and/or others in their life? … Is what I am bothered about by them something that is harming their soul and in need of restoration?”

This verse means not only “be careful”- as in make sure you don’t get caught in the same sin, which is what I think most of us register that as- but it means also simply be careful not to be sucked down to sin in order to be heard. We are called to approach the confrontation with a humble and gentle heart. If we approach it in anger, then it’s a lost cause from the start. I am the WORST at blowing up. I hold things in, think of all the ideal situations and act out my responses in my head that I want to give, and then in the role play… I burst. Communication, openness, honesty, and humility are the key to healthy arguments and confrontation.

Taking this further,

this isn’t just applicable in marriage. (Obviously, Paul the apostle wrote it and was never married.) It’s applicable to relationships in general. Social media doesn’t count as a tool for “restoration”, hate to break it to you. It means when we want to be heard, instead of posting that rant on Facebook or passive aggressive post, we are quiet. We seek out understanding one on one. We gently look to sharpen each other. If you’re offended by correction, then perhaps you ought to take a step back to look at why.

Whether married, dating, single, a best friend, a daughter, a son… whatever it is, we have to decide daily what battles we want to take on. Approach them gently, whatever it is you might be facing.

Love y’all. SO much. Have a happy Wednesday evening. 😉 I have had… a day to say the least, and I have had to gently approach situation after situation. (All while silently flipping out- but that is beside the point haha.) God is constantly working my heart, refining me, shaping me, and molding me into the woman he has called me to be. The process will never end. I am real thankful for that bit of truth.

xoxo- Han

You can grab my tee from The Cake Shop!

All Photos Taken by Cottonwood Road Photography For The Cake by Hannah