Hannah Morrison

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Rory’s Successful VBAC Birth Story!



August 21, 2020

I cannot believe how fast this month has flown by. I don’t know if it’s because Rory’s first week was in the NICU, so we’ve really only had 3 weeks at home with him? But, either way, it’s gone fast. Rory has already gained so much weight and is doing amazing! He was born so tiny – 6 lbs 3 oz and is already 8 lbs 6 oz. The boy can E A T. And we’ve had absolutely NO apnea episodes since coming home. We feel so lucky to have a growing healthy boy.

I have been waiting for a moment to write this story for you guys… and well, I have a toddler and a newborn… So here we are a month later and still no post. I know y’all understand 😉 But, as so many of you walked through Knox’s birth with me and then now as I have been open about my desire for a VBAC with Rory, I want to share this story and celebrate with you. And, if you are also looking to have a VBAC, hopefully encourage you! It can be scary when you hear the potential issues of a VBAC and have “the talk” about the risks if you tear during labor. We really weighed the options and discussed a scheduled c-section or VBAC quite a bit. Both would get us our boy, which is the end goal no matter what! But, there was a deep desire in me to delivery vaginally. I wanted that experience if my body would allow it. So, we decided with our team of doctors early on in my pregnancy that we wanted a VBAC but were completely open-handed to whatever they felt was necessary throughout the process.


Fast forward to 36 weeks:

At 36 weeks, I started having very painful contractions. I was actually fully convinced I was having this baby early. For weeks, I was having preterm labor. And having been through 30 hours of labor before, I knew these contractions were getting high on the pain scale. But, after weeks of laying awake with no sleep and timing my contractions, I was still pregnant and getting real angry about it. And freaking exhausted. Finally at one of my appointments I brought up honestly how painful my “braxton hicks” were and my midwife suggested we do a UTI test. At this point, I had not mentioned ANYTHING to her. I know… I am silly. I just have a fear of being told nothing is wrong and being embarrassed by that. It’s a deep issue… a long story of my childhood before I got diagnosed with food allergies lol. No need to go into that today. But, I definitely carry a fear of doctors telling me I am exaggerating or making stuff up. Thus, I end up with UTIs for 3 weeks, pregnancy tumors the size of China for 3 months before having to have it surgically removed, and … well, a lot of other stories of me not being honest with doctors and having a way worse situation than if I had just told them the truth.

Finally, my last week of pregnancy, I had antibiotics and was no longer having contractions AT ALL. It was sorta a bummer and sorta a relief since it allowed me some time to catch up on my weeks of no sleep. Second, my due date was a little bit of a toss up since we weren’t 100% certain when my last cycle was. I had been tracking ovulation on an app before I got pregnant and had the 13th, which is what I also measured as for the due date my first sono. But, according to what I guessed was my last cycle, it landed me at the 18th. I am irregular and couldn’t for the life of me remember my last start date. So, I was either 5 days late or delivered ON my due date.


Labor:

I went to bed the 17th, discouraged like all the other nights I went to bed still pregnant, and praying God would PLEASE get this baby out of me. I woke up at 6 AM the 18th and felt crampy, but I wasn’t certain if it was UTI stuff or labor. I had already lost my plug over a week before and knew I should be going into labor any moment, but I was so convinced it wasn’t happening. Ever. (Ok, that’s dramatic.) Anyways, about 30 minutes later it became very clear to Paul these were labor pains. Yes, I said Paul. I was still not convinced… as I am pacing up and down our bathroom and having to sway during contractions. Like I said, I have a fear of being told nothing is wrong… lol. I did NOT want to go up to the hospital and go through all the COVID screening and testing to be told I wasn’t in labor. The more Paul told me it was time, the more fearful I got of having to be in the hospital and do the COVID stuff, wear masks while I tried to breath during the hardest workout of your life, etc. I started to bawl. I told him I didn’t want to go and wanted to deliver at home… hahaha. Not even an option as a high-risk VBAC. So, well, that got nixed real fast.

I turned on my worship and began laboring in the mindset that it was in fact labor. I calmed myself, began breathing in rhythm, and got focused. If you’ve ever been in labor, you know that half the battle for a successful delivery is your mindset. So much of labor is mental. Then at 8 AM it was definitely time for us to go. I couldn’t believe how quickly we seemingly progressed. My birth plans for both boys were to labor from home for as long as possible. And, in my defense, I honestly had labored from home for 3 weeks.. lol. But on the day of birth, it was just an hour and a half before we had to hit the road! We arrived at the hospital and pulled up to the ER, which is the only entrance allowed right now to the hospital. The nurses rolled up a wheelchair asking why we were there… and I think I was a few words I won’t say when it seemed rather obvious to me why the heck we were at the hospital. They had to screen me before rolling me to a triage room to confirm I was, in fact, in labor. So they took my temperature and asked me a bunch of questions in between contractions and murmurings under my breath (lol), and they rolled me to the next room for more questions and more vitals. Again, a little nervous they would tell me to go home. Then, when they felt I was in fact in labor, they called the L&D to come get me. It was not long at all for them to see I was having contractions every two minutes… Being a “COVID mom” is just so weird. It was such an odd experience trying to get to L&D.

From here, it was honestly a dream! They got me in my gown and checked me to tell me I was already over a 4. I was shocked. When I arrived in active labor with Knox, I was not even a 1… and they ALMOST sent me home. *omggggggg, it was awful* So to be told I was already a 4.5+ was an answered prayer. I was progressing and felt like this VBAC might actually freaking happen. My body seemed to be doing exactly what it was supposed to! I labored in the bed while they got me in the system, which took FOREVER, and before we knew it I was a 7. Legit like an hour or so later. Once I got to just shy of an 8 they had the epidural come in. My birth plan with Knox was non-medicated in a hospital, and after 9 hours of labor I had to get the epidural because I did not progress at all and my body was starting to struggle way too much (amidst 8 minute contractions and Knox’s heart rate dropping significantly each one). Once I got the epidural with Knox, my body progressed. Although, if you know Knox’s story, my body never went past a 6 because he was just not gonna come vaginally. You can read his story, here.

So, I decided early on in my pregnancy with Rory that in an attempt for a VBAC, I wanted an epidural to give my body every chance of progressing on its own to successfully deliver. I was super pumped that I had labored to an 8 on my own, though. It felt like sweet redemption in a lot of ways. My body COULD do this.

After my epidural I stalled out for a couple hours at an 8, and then before we knew it I was a ten and it was time to start pushing. I was at a 9.5 and my midwife did something where she turned and flipped Rory a bit and it was go-time. It’s actually all a blur from here because it was so fast. We thought they were joking when they started scrubbing. It felt so chill haha. Here’s where things got a little scary… There were moments throughout my labor where Rory’s heart rate dropped but then went right back up, so they weren’t concerned. But, it did make them watch him closely. Then, when it came time to push Rory’s heart rate dropped instantly and never came back up. We went from chill and laughing to tense in .2 seconds in the delivery room. After a few minutes and a big push, my midwife was clearly concerned and started saying she needed the hospitalist immediately. I knew something was wrong. She looked at me and said, “Okay, Hannah. I know this is weird, but I need you to give me everything you’ve got in this push or we have to do a c-section.” I was so confused!!! EVERYTHING had gone so smooth and so perfectly up to this point. And all of a sudden I was maybe going to have to have a c-section? I was so taken aback. So, I freaking pushed with everything I had in me. And… 13 minutes from start to finish, Rory was born. I pushed 5 times total – a vacuum to aid me on the final two. They told me I did in 13 minutes what most women do in two hours. I pushed so hard my eyes were swollen afterward… BUT RORY CAME! My whole labor time was just a little over 8 hours – a far different story than my 30 with Knox.

That moment they first passed my baby to me on my chest was the most incredible feeling. I DID IT. I didn’t have a c-section and my baby was crying and responding just as he was supposed to. I had successfully delivered a VBAC.

From there, you know things got tough for us if you follow me on IG. In short, everything was seemingly perfect, but because Rory was so tiny, he was technically “underweight” for his length. So protocol for a small baby is to test glucose levels every 3 hours. Rory was testing low and initially was taken to the NICU for glucose levels. But they assured us it was nothing and they would just do a sugar saline to boost his levels and he should level out. We were a little concerned, but other than the disappointment of my baby being taken from me night 1, we felt like things were totally okay. Then, we found out that once Rory was taken to the NICU… his glucose levels were literally perfect. Like… in the 60s but for 12 hours before that he was in the 20s. It made no sense. Before he even had the IV set up or anything, he was testing perfectly. The NICU nurses apparently were even asking and trying to confirm Rory was supposed to be there. It made no sense. But, since there had been 12 hours of incredibly low levels… he had to stay.

And, thank God for that.

The next morning as I was getting dressed and prepared for us to all be discharged I heard somebody walk in and ask to speak to Rory’s mom and dad. All I could hear was “Rory stopped breathing.” I literally was half dressed and ran out frantically to find the Nurse Practitioner for the NICU in our room. He explained to us that a nurse happened to be in the room with Rory watching his glucose levels again (which were perfect) and he stopped breathing, turned blue, and had to be resuscitated. I was horrified and began to weep. Immediately, all the perfect things that had happened and felt like were closing a chapter I so desperately wanted to move on from in our life were all of a sudden tossed in my face and rubbed in with salt. WHY, GOD? This MUST be a joke. Surely this isn’t happening. Surely I am dreaming.

Rory was having apnea episodes that are fairly common for NICU babies who are preterm. However, I had a full term baby and it made no sense at all. There were multiple times I held Rory and he turned gray blue in my arms. It was absolutely horrifying. The doctor said he was actually baffled by Rory, because everything was seemingly perfect about him. He had “no guide for how to navigate this situation.” Awesome… every parent wants to hear that.

So, for a week, we tried everything. We tested for everything. We prayed hard. Cried a lot. Screamed in the car. And begged God to let us bring home Rory. We also happened to have an underlying stress that our insurance was ending at the end of the month… So not only was I concerned about my child but I was starting to worry about the timeframe they were preparing us for and the potential we could be in the NICU without insurance. I was so overwhelmed. But, I clung to the truth God didn’t bring us through the wilderness the last 6 months to hurt us. He had been our defender this far, and he wasn’t going to stop.

Eventually, Rory’s episodes grew further in between and for shorter timespans. Every morning at 5 AM, or really whatever un-Godly hour of the morning we woke up, we would call the NICU asking if Rory went without an episode. “No, he had one at “x” time and then another at “y.” Every morning we called was a punch to our gut.

Then, we called one morning and they said, “No episodes over night!” We were thrilled. Now we had to go 24 hours without one and we could hopefully bring him home. Obviously, we made it the 24 hours because we got to go home with our beautiful baby boy on his 1 week birthday, and we haven’t had an episode since. They still have no explanation for why they happened, but I do believe with everything in me God had his glucose levels drop to get him in the NICU so that a nurse would see him stop breathing. I will never understand the mysteries and intricacies of God, but I do know He makes all things work together for our good. It was GOOD that Rory was taken from us night 1 with an odd case of seemingly perfect glucose levels.

So, we have Rory Liam at home. He is perfect. Knox loves him deeply. We love him so overwhelmingly. And, we are moving forward in our life with a greater understanding of God, our protector king through our son.

 

CATEGORIES ~ Blog, Faith, Life, Mommy & Me, Pregnancy Leave a Comment

Rory’s Puppy Nursery & Name



August 17, 2020

EEEEP! Y’all, I am so excited to share this full post with you today. We’ve had the nursery done for months, but I didn’t want to share it until Rory was here. And now, I can’t believe he’s a month old tomorrow! This nursery is incredibly special to me. I dreamed it up while feeling completely lost after finding out Rory was going to be a boy instead of the little girl I thought so surely God had told me I was having. This, along with a whole bunch of other stuff unfolding in our life, left me confused to say the very least. Rory’s nursery sort of became my project that distracted me from what was happening in our personal lives.

Puppies. Everybody likes puppies.

I am not kidding. That’s where this room started the day after I found out the gender. So I looked up on Etsy “Puppy Prints” and I found these. These prints are what got me excited about having another little boy. Isn’t that funny? God grows His plans and desires within us in mysterious, custom-tailored ways. Mine for Rory came through nursery design. Then, as our life took some crazy turns, the rest of Rory’s story unfolded as I felt God tell me his unique mark and why his name would be what it is. I have shared about this on Instagram a bit, but my pregnancy with Rory was a deeply spiritual time in my life. We’ve had some massive changes happen right smack dab in the middle of my pregnancy, some quite unexpectedly but very necessary while others have been long and drawn out. We made choices for our family that looked crazy to the outside world. And then, while it felt we ought to fight and defend ourselves, we chose to be silent. God told me Rory’s full name was Rory Liam, and although at the time I didn’t know of anything to come in the months ahead, I knew it was what God was telling me He would be for us in 2020. Rory means “King” *Red King to be exact, so we thought it’d be hilarious if he came out red headed!* and Liam means “Protector.” As we labored through an incredibly painful season, one that was necessary to birth something new in us and regrow dead places in our hearts, I grew Rory Liam within me. I was pregnant both physically and spiritually. God taught me through my pregnancy, with Rory as a physical daily reminder of this, that he was my family’s Protector King. That we didn’t have to fight for ourselves, because the Lord alone is our defender, our champion, our warrior. And then, Rory embodied his own name and story when he was born and spent his first week in the NICU. Once again, though it felt cruel and just like more unnecessary pain, God proved himself through Rory that He was our Protector King.


All this to say… Welcome to Rory Liam’s Puppy Nursery.

I love every single little detail. Most notably, this accent wall was done by our dear friends Madi and Jarrett Hall who JUST officially launched their business and blog, The Hall Acres.  They are local to the McKinney area and some of the absolute kindest, most genuine people you’ll ever come across. They’re incredibly talented and I cannot suggest them enough for a “follow” on IG AND for any projects in your home you may be looking to hire out to somebody.

Our newborn photos in Rory’s nursery are, of course, Hannah Hagaman of Cottonwood Road Photography.

I have every item linked at the bottom of this post!






Nursery Details:

Crib | Changing Table | Puppy Prints | Bean Bag (Similar- same leather) | Bean Bag Lounger Option | Neon Sign | Rug | Crib Sheet | Gold Frames | Changing Table Sheet | Book Shelves | Pom Pom Bins | Wooden Bin | Velvet Curtains | Curtain Rod

**Our exact bean bag isn’t available anymore! SUCH A BUMMER. It’s from PB Teen and we bought it specifically with Knox in mind to be part of bedtime for Rory… it turned out to be the seat Paul and I never knew we needed hehe. I linked a swivel chair that is low like a bean bag with the exact same faux leather!

Paint Colors: SW Alabaster and Inkwell

CATEGORIES ~ Blog, Faith, Home, Life, Mommy & Me, Pregnancy Leave a Comment

IG Outfits & Nordstrom Anniversary Sale!



July 7, 2020

It’s the most wonderful time of the year, y’all! Like… for real. I have been thinking about the Nordstrom Anniversary Sale for weeks and it’s inching closer. This is the best sale of the year, and one of the only ones I truly cover and go “all-in” on, because it really is just that good. You get to shop the upcoming season’s best and newest releases for MAJOR discounts. We are talking fall’s best new items for 40% off or more. This is the time of year I shop for fall, purchase heftier ticket price items, and think through the colder months. It feels funny to shop for colder weather items when it’s 100 degrees outside… but I just like to set the mood with a fall candle and turn the AC way down with some Season 1 Gilmore Girls on. 😉 If you know… you know. That’s legit my happy place.

You can learn more about the sale here! Previews and early access BEGIN July 24th, but the whole sale goes public on August 19th.

Things to Note:

  • You get early shopping access with the Nordstrom Credit Card, which is really worth it if you can. But, it’s NOT ever necessary. If you know yourself and know a credit card isn’t wise, don’t do it. The benefit of one is that all the best stuff sells out in the first week with the early access shoppers. And although many items do get restocked for the public access on August 19th, there’s just never any guarantees.
  • You can create wish lists and looks with a Nordy Club Member account. This isn’t a credit card or anything like that. You can just earn perks and whatnot as you shop, and you can gain Nordstrom status with points (which means you could earn early access without a credit card!)

In other news… I am still pregnant. I have legitimately been in labor for days. But my contractions aren’t close enough to be admitted. Last night, we labored every 7-9 minutes until 3:30 AM. Honestly, I am exhausted at this point and the baby isn’t even here. But, I know we can make it through this and Baby R is worth the fight. I have included a quick round-up of most clicked items and my IG posts for you below just in case shopping with LiketoKnow.IT isn’t for you. You can also always shop without the LTK app through “Shop my Insta” on the main page of my website, here.

Get the Look:

Most Shopped Items:

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Summer Dresses (Great for Newborn Pics!)



June 29, 2020


Holy smokes, y’all. How am I still pregnant? Who the heck knows… hehe. I am technically 38 weeks now, however my body has been prepping for weeks. At 35 weeks I started having pre-labor signs *super painful evening practice contractions!* and now I am about 2 cm dilated and over 50% effaced… so I am just a walking ticking time bomb at this point. Currently having contractions… pray my water breaks lol.

To be honest, my anxiety has been pretty high the closer I get to delivery. I have had a couple breakdowns about how different this hospital experience will be from Knox’s birth. I will have to wear a mask at any point a doctor or nurse is present, which makes me really anxious to be honest. I have a really hard time with a mask on my face, which is why I have generally just chosen to stay home so much through the last couple of months. Second, I decided months ago that in order to hopefully have a successful VBAC, I will be getting an epidural to calm my body once I arrive at the hospital. I am incredibly anxious about this. I don’t do well with needles or hospital settings in general, so I am just really nervous. I will be laboring from home for as long as possible, though, as long as things progress well! If you weren’t around here for Knox’s birth, I had a birth plan for non-medicated birth in the hospital. I labored for 9 hours with almost no progress, so I was forced to get an epidural. I still ended up with an emergency c-section and we discovered Knox was cord wrapped THREE TIMES and would have never come vaginally. So, God was incredibly sweet and protected us all 29 hours of labor to bring that boy into the world. Lastly, I can’t have my mom present this time around and Knox can’t come meet Baby R.  I have dreamed of that special moment my son walks into the hospital room with a gift to meet his brother. I know it’s small in the grand scheme of things- but it’s still a dream I have to let die. It’s just all really different and nerve-wracking, and I am having to let myself grieve it all. But, at the end of the day, however this boy decides to come and whenever… I just want a healthy baby in my arms when its all said and done. I have to keep reminding myself that.

Today, as I am prepping for labor (and praying it’s TIME) I am also thinking through all things post-labor, including newborn pics! I rounded up some favorite summer dresses currently available in my favorite shops that will photograph well AND be perfect for postpartum. ALL of these are non-maternity and great for everybody! I just made sure to pick ones that are friendly to that postpartum belly. 😉

The Dresses:

Baby R’s Nursery:

CATEGORIES ~ Blog, Fashion, Mommy & Me, Pregnancy Leave a Comment

Neutral Toned Living Space



April 20, 2020

Heya babes! It’s a new week, new adventures, new opportunities, and new spaces to dream up while we stay home. My house has seriously never been cleaner and my furniture gets moved around frequently. We are in full nursery mode, and I cannot WAIT to show you the finalized space!

As for the main living spaces in my home, I have been slowly filling up and swapping out pieces over that last year that are a bit more neutral, gold, and metal toned. Also, finally after 6 years of marriage sifting through the last of my hand me down furniture and choosing pieces for my home I can have for years.

I put together my favorite pieces currently from Target’s new line with Studio McGee (I AM OBSESSED!) as well as some from my favorite line they carry, Opalhouse. Looking at all of these together below makes me drool a little. 😉 I love the natural wood tones and metals. I think it’s so beautiful!

Please Note: A lot of these items show either out of stock or pick up only at surrounding Target locations due to the current state of circumstances. I wanted to still include them in this curated list, though, as it’s only temporary! Book mark them and request to be notified when they are restocked.  

CATEGORIES ~ Blog, Home, Pregnancy Leave a Comment

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Hey, I am Hannah!

Hey,  I am Hannah!
I am Hannah Morrison. Mommy of two boys, one girl, and an angel girl in heaven. I believe joy is found in your own home under your own roof, and I am just here to help you find it. Marriage, motherhood, fashion, and faith are what I am all about and I am so glad you're here!

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