Every girl has her people. The girls she goes to for advice, the girls she has surely snuggled with multiple times, the girls who scratch her head and cry with her when she is going through tough times and the girls she can laugh harder with than anybody else by doing absolutely nothing. Her people know exactly how she is feeling about something with a single glance in her direction and are more than likely feeling the exact same way as she is. You are definitely standing behind one another in each other’s weddings. And, her people help justify a carton of ice cream every Friday. Although I find girls one of the most terrifying topics in the books- walking into a room full of women staring at one another causes me a bit of terror- I genuinely love doing life with ladies. I particularly love my people, my ladies. I met my three people when I was hardly a teenager and they have remained my people for 10+ years. When you meet your people you just know. These three women are smoking hott and just as beautiful and kind-hearted on the inside. They truly are each a characteristic I lack, and they just sort of complete me. I see so many women who have chosen to isolate themselves with the fear of being hurt. I get it, I have been there. I have allowed people in who end up destroying me, I get that. But, what I have come to understand is that being in community and being known is far better than isolation. Let your people love you well and love your people even better. My three best friends know me better than I know myself at times, and I wouldn’t want it any other way.
How do you pick the right friends, though? It’s a scary process meeting new people and making close friendships. (I honestly feel that I just lucked out with some of the best girls on the planet.) And, let’s face it, meeting new people post-graduation is just as hard as it is terrifying. My best friends are scattered across Texas- like, literally we are each in a different region. So, I have had to force myself to make friends here in Dallas, too. (Although, I could easily be okay with just seeing my three best friends from high school once every few months and hang onto that until the next time.) But, there are great people here in the city that I have made friendships with and it’s about time I start investing in these, too, and making even more friends in the place I now call home.
1. You have to put yourself out there. Go to events, join social groups, go running with your neighbors. There are so many options, especially in the city, to meet new people. It requires stepping out of your comfort zone, though, and initiating intentional conversation.
2. Stop believing all girls are mean. Truth is, most girls are a little reluctant because of a small handful of women out there. Majority of women aren’t as bad or scary as you think, so don’t allow yourself to believe they are.
3. Find girls who make you more happy with who you are, not discontent or hoping to be something more. The most toxic environment you can place yourself in is with women who are negative and constantly picking apart other women. DO NOT PLACE YOURSELF IN THIS. I promise that within ten minutes of conversation with someone, you can pick up on the main signals if they are worth investing in or not by what they show they care about in your intros. Are they all about themselves or do they ask you a lot of questions? If they are already talking about other women, then it’s probably going to be a theme.
4. Be exposed. I wrote about being vulnerable in love relationships recently, but the same truth reigns in making friends. Be the person who sets the tone for a mask-free zone. Be real and genuine. That’s all people really want.
Nobody can ever replace my people. (Shout out to Kyana, Hannah and Summer!) But, my hope is to certainly make more in the city I find myself in at this stage of life. It will take stepping out on a limb and being extremely uncomfortable as I do terribly in public situations without anyone I know by my side. And although I keep trying to convince my three to move to Dallas, they just won’t take my advice. (I am still banking on them one day realizing they should live up here, though.) But, thank goodness that no matter the distance, those girls will be in my life until we are 80 sitting in the rocking chairs to the right of me. I know for a fact they will be. But, here’s to adding a few more to my left over the coming years.
You are all so loved!